Mod Abuse

im going to answer this post

Avalonslight wrote: No, he never said you weren't worthy of a response. He stated he was under no obligation to respond, and then proceeded to state that the way you came off at him, demanding answers and this and that, was basically the issue. You are being rather demanding and quite frankly a bit rude.... Again, tone is everything.

But, since it's been eating away at me, I do want to know this. Why, after seeing your post had been deleted, would you proceed to repost it without first getting an explanation? And then why would you continue to post other posts multiple times, after they had been supposedly deleted?

While on top of that doing all this public blasting and everything. . . . I guess I'm just baffled how you think any of your actions in this post and your supposed repeated postings are meant to portray this appearance to the rest of us that you're being abused.

And in case you can't get what I'm hinting at right there, doing so and saying you did so basically sets yourself up to have the appearance of "I'm being abused!!" and giving yourself reason to complain when really... there wasn't. (Oh hey... in that regard, you're kind of doing what you said people who complain about PC are doing Just sayin. . . . :laugh: )



Said it once, and I'll say it again, not the right way to handle this, Ob1. Go chill out for a bit. That's my final 2cents on the matter. . . .

people are free to decide that i am just stirring up trouble or they are free to decide that my answers may help prevent such a situation from arising again

Avalonslight wrote: No, he never said you weren't worthy of a response.

correct, he said he chose to go watch a movie when he saw that i was attempting to contact him, because it was "more fun than this, you see"

which maybe is close enough to the same thing

and i would suggest that the next time someone treats you as if youre less important than watching a movie, you either accept that yes, you most certainly are less important than that movie, or you call it out and make it very clear that no, you are in fact NOT less important than said movie, and theres no way in hell youre going to be treated as if you are less important than the movie - whichever one you think is most true and most beneficial to your well being

and and remember that this choice will become a habit - so pick the habit you would rather live with

Avalonslight wrote: He stated he was under no obligation to respond,

well maybe thats a bad rule

maybe if you close a thread and delete a comment from the same person, within minutes of each other, and then send an order to that person about how they are allowed to speak, well maybe at that point you in fact ARE obligated to respond to them if they are contacting you

or maybe you should be

maybe being a knight and being a moderator does actually place such obligations upon you and maybe even if you dont think these obligations exist, MAYBE you can see how acting as if they did exist could prevent something outrageous from happening

like a big public spectacle or something

Avalonslight wrote: and then proceeded to state that the way you came off at him, demanding answers and this and that, was basically the issue. You are being rather demanding and quite frankly a bit rude.... Again, tone is everything.

which is why i posted every comment that i sent to him in the very first post of this thread

so that the community as a whole could judge if my tone was out of line

for your convenience, here it is again

this was my first PM, which was in regards to the "monogamy" thread being locked

"its your decision to close or not and if you really think that was the only way we could keep things at a basically adult level then i guess do whatever you think is right,

but the topic of that thread is a worthwhile conversation to have, and the hostilities were actually being handled pretty maturely - i dont see there was any need to close it

imo its better for the whole community to be able to see tensions handled in an adult way - which they were being so handled - rather than to see "OMG DONT STEP OUT OF LINE OR THEY LOCK YOU DOWN"

----

i didnt really solicit an answer but i did attempt to open a dialogue - my hope (assumption maybe) was that he would respond

but at that point all i was aware of was that the thread got locked

i was expecting a response from him and i got one, it was this:

"Watch your language. I don't care if it is in a thread on political correctness."

my mind wasnt even on that political correctness thread, i didnt know my comment had been deleted, i was expecting to talk about the monogamy thread and why it had to be locked

instead i was given an order, and thats when i went to the other thread and saw my comment was deleted

and i responded with this:

"is that why you closed my thread, cause you dont like the way i talk?"

and shortly after:

"did you tell tzb to watch his language too?"

that was it - you have read my comments to hima nd if i gave him any orders "like a superior officer" or whatever he said, orif i was demanding or demeaning, please point it out to me, because i think that i was pretty fair

and you have to remember that tzb used the words "nigger" and "fag" where i used the words "sh*thead" "ni**er" and "f*ag" and otherwise we made very similar points - not exactly the same, but similar

and my comment was deleted, and i was sent an order about my language

so maybe i felt a little bit singled out in that moment, and maybe you would have too

Avalonslight wrote: But, since it's been eating away at me, I do want to know this. Why, after seeing your post had been deleted, would you proceed to repost it without first getting an explanation? And then why would you continue to post other posts multiple times, after they had been supposedly deleted?

i proceeded to repost becauseit became apparent to me that i was being ignored

and then my re-posting was deleted and i was still ignored

he has acknowledged in this thread that he knew that i was messaging him, and he chose, because it was more fun you see, to go watch a movie instead of talking to me

which he justified with by saying that i was giving him orders and being discourteous (which i was not)

so i chose, because it was more fun than being ignored you see, to make a big giant fuss, and get everyones attention

was that the right way to handle the situation?

well, maybe not

but if the situation had handled me the right way, then i would have handled it the right way also

the rest of your post is moot as far as i can tell

steamboat28 wrote: Their points should not be shuffled into the bin simply because people think they're being jerks.

But that's how it works. The well-crafted, sensitive statement of criticism is received better than the hastily scrawled, petulant one. That's just how human beings are. It's harder to meet a sincere attempt at harmony with a fist.

If we aren't going to treat everyone the same, then we should plaster that on the front door, don't you think?

Resisting learning tact and tenderness simply because one wants to resist it seems to be even more illogical. Anything that can smooth over the rough spots between myself and another, anything that can foster communication is an autowin, in my book.

I'm here for harmony, not struggle. I think we've all got enough struggle already without creating more inside the temple. If changing my language, tone or points of view can aid that, flame on

Snowy Aftermath wrote:

steamboat28 wrote: Their points should not be shuffled into the bin simply because people think they're being jerks.

But that's how it works. The well-crafted, sensitive statement of criticism is received better than the hastily scrawled, petulant one. That's just how human beings are. It's harder to meet a sincere attempt at harmony with a fist.

If we aren't going to treat everyone the same, then we should plaster that on the front door, don't you think?

Resisting learning tact and tenderness simply because one wants to resist it seems to be even more illogical. Anything that can smooth over the rough spots between myself and another, anything that can foster communication is an autowin, in my book.

I'm here for harmony, not struggle. I think we've all got enough struggle already without creating more inside the temple If changing my language, tone or points of view can aid that, flame on

Flame on friend ,flame on! , I like that. Lots of different places this thread has been. Hopefully the light is shed rather than shadow fills. We are ALIVE in all we do whether accepted or not as good or bad. We are what we say and do and how we act. I have found strange truths in the thick of things some days. Nothing is ever concrete, like Polaris, one star yet 5 difrent things, moons planet mega planet....yet all the same . Constantly in-consistent. Not sure where this will go after this, The Temple is a wonderful place to learn and grow and see that others have very valid views. I encourage all of us, even me when a thread goes rouge, bring it back, make the effort to bring your brothers and sisters back, make the effort to find communication and fellowship again, mend or blow up which ever but remember most of the time we think we are alone, Yet here we all are. We are never alone in this JEDI life. If we as a community say we are, let us be! This shits hard but we can make the difference ...WE MAKE THE DIFFRENCE , we are the difference

https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/open-discussions/113601-take-care-of-each-other

steamboat28 said:

Perhaps if you find offense so easily at TOTJO, you could take a look at your reactions to those incidences and see where you might alter them to provide yourself more wholeness and peace.

I perceive your attempt at making me defensive and dismiss it.
Have a good day, Steamboat. Be well

I'm here for harmony, not struggle. I think we've all got enough struggle already without creating more inside the temple

The whole idea is to find harmony outside yes?

If you came here for harmony, well, that iss all well and good, but what you came here for isnt necessarily what you need from here, nor what you may get.

If your simply going to dismiss any post that may not be in line with your attempts at harmony, then you are only going to hurt yourself in the long run.

That is not harmony, that is denial.

The well-crafted, sensitive statement of criticism is received better than the hastily scrawled, petulant one. That's just how human beings are. It's harder to meet a sincere attempt at harmony with a fist.

It seems, that he did indeed try to PM him, and if they are word for word were hardly hastily scrawled, or petulant.

As to the whole "Under no obligation to respond" Well, I am a Mod, and an Admin at various other communities, and yes, actually, you are obligated.

Its a position of responsibility, of authority, and if you are going to make changes, and someone contacts you(usually I will contact them in PM about it first) then you should respond as it is your place too. To state you are under no obligation in a position of relative power(to remove, and edit peoples words, which is all they have in a forum) is an abuse of that power and position of responsibility/authority.

Its not just about changing things and watching a movie.

In the vein of harmony, even if one was being a jerk, what about being the more mature person( or is that not the Jedi way?) and re-establishing harmony by simply explaining yourself, rather than giving into butthurt.

Dont take a job that your not going to do correctly.

Khaos wrote:

The well-crafted, sensitive statement of criticism is received better than the hastily scrawled, petulant one. That's just how human beings are. It's harder to meet a sincere attempt at harmony with a fist.

It seems, that he did indeed try to PM him, and if they are word for word were hardly hastily scrawled, or petulant.

I was speaking philosophically, not specifically of him.

As to the whole "Under no obligation to respond" Well, I am a Mod, and an Admin at various other communities, and yes, actually, you are obligated.

If someone is being intentionally antagonistic or overwhelmingly obsessive and just needed to go chill out for a while, maybe not so much. When a child has a tantrum, you don't try reason, you let them scream until they're exhausted, don't feed the problem and then deal with it when they've blown themselves out.

In the vein of harmony, even if one was being a jerk, what about being the more mature person( or is that not the Jedi way?) and re-establishing harmony by simply explaining yourself, rather than giving into butthurt.

I'm not going to touch who I think it is that is acting the most butthurt in this situation with a ten foot pole

A thread that is not 'bound' to subject only can be rewarding and fun and confusing at the same time. I have made some ''highlights'' of the thread that is going so far.

Where do I begin with my words? This is a subject some people dream to talk about. Other people like to get over it as soon as they see it. I think that this subject needs to be talked over from the beginning. How hard it may sound. So far I do understand that there are or were problems. Most likely that it is fixed or being fixed at the moment. For these time is only cure left.

But when minding about things that are continue at moment, What made us to do it? I believe that some people spoke words they would not speak normally. Some reactions shocked me, not expected to read words that cry trough the wind like a bull whip. I want to make good use of that opportunity. Where did we start this discussion? Where are we now in this discussion? Does not matter?

No single Jedi is thoughtful at every single point. Not even me. (specially not me, I find myself making mistakes all over the time :dry:) The point I would like to make, when reading these quotes. If we can not prevent misunderstanding. How do we deal with it? I get the feeling that we are writing around the subject. I think that there are not so many people that feel happy about it because it we drag all our problems towards this black hole of misunderstanding. Feel free to correct my words if needed. If not let it be please.





Below some random only to mind about quotes, with the question.. where does this thread go, how to give direction to it all together?

Alexandre Oreon wrote: But you are being a bit of a "jerk" about the way you are insisting on your point(s). And "fair" doesn't have much to do with it.

OB1Shinobi wrote: deleted my comment in the PC thread and sent me the "watch your mouth" PM

Firewolf wrote: I would hope this could be resolved peacefully.

TheDude wrote: Offense is never given, it is taken

Connor L. wrote: So, Hunter... what exactly are you trying to accomplish with a public thread pretty much designed to cause an uproar?

OB1Shinobi wrote: i asked him why i was deleted and i was ignored

Desolous wrote: This blew up.

Firewolf wrote: Just stop all of you if i were a mod i would close this thread.

Aqua wrote: Not sure why the thread is open, not sure, do not want to know.

carlos.martinez3 wrote: Flame on friend ,flame on! , I like that. Lots of different places this thread has been.

Jestor wrote: Because we are all individuals, who all respond differently...

If someone is being intentionally antagonistic or overwhelmingly obsessive and just needed to go chill out for a while, maybe not so much.

Unless its your job. Also, while it turned into that, it could have been avoided had it been dealt with when the PM was sent and not ignored. While yes, this thread is a testament to antagonistic and obsessive behavior to a point, that initially wasnt the case

So again, dont take the job if you dont intend on doing it correctly.

I'm not going to touch who I think it is that is acting the most butthurt in this situation with a ten foot pole

Its irrelevant anyway.

Its not a contest, and at any point, the Mod could have avoided more, but through intentional actions instigated more. The person in a position of more authority and responsibility should be able to be the one to...Moderate, themselves. That is, presumably, why they have the position in the first place.

Snowy Aftermath wrote: But that's how it works. The well-crafted, sensitive statement of criticism is received better than the hastily scrawled, petulant one. That's just how human beings are. It's harder to meet a sincere attempt at harmony with a fist.

No it isn't. Otherwise, all my well-crafted, each-word-chosen-infinitessimally-carefully posts wouldn't throw people into barbarian-keyboard-warrior mode every twelve seconds because my fancy words hurt their precious feelers.

Resisting learning tact and tenderness simply because one wants to resist it seems to be even more illogical.

No one is resisting learning tact or tenderness. Like everything, they have a season in which they are appropriate, and a season in which they are not.

I'm here for harmony, not struggle.

I was going to say something witty about being in the wrong place on the internet, but I pulled a muscle laughing. There is more strife and struggle and butthurt here in a week than many other forums see in months. Everybody gets their knickers in a twist over a baby religion cobbled together from half-understood ancient wisdom and a filmic ode to crappy B-budget movie serials. There's going to be a lot of struggle on your road to harmony, here or anywhere else, and if you can't handle that, then you'll never find what you seek.

Steamboat28 said:

There is more strife and struggle and butthurt here in a week than many other forums see in months. Everybody gets their knickers in a twist over a baby religion cobbled together from half-understood ancient wisdom and a filmic ode to crappy B-budget movie serials. There's going to be a lot of struggle on your road to harmony, here or anywhere else, and if you can't handle that, then you'll never find what you seek.

Steamboat, I'm not interested in this thing you seem desperate to pull me into. Be well.