The value of "time in the community"

The thing is, while there is this broken record on " You dont have the right, or need, or license to be rude".

I agree, I dont think there has been a person who hasnt.

However, I have never seen this as a problem here.

It does seem though, that when the going gets tough, the tough arent here.

I see no one individual who is just bombing threads with rudeness, or smashing people down, or more accurately there ideas, or thoughts on a topic.

Hell, in my case, I have simply responded in what I have thought is a mature manner, and been told that I am attacking someone.

Trust me, I know the difference between an attack and not, we allow that in the Dark path, and so, you are a target, and I know when I am not targeting someone and when I am.

Simply put, people get hurt here way to often(more and more it seems) and way to easy.

This is what it feels like sometimes here, and so, no matter how rational, or pointed an argument what people are listening for it seems is when to be offended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd4kX66uG1M

I know many times I am commenting on a topic, or Gisteron, or whoever and then the thread derails off topic, not in a progressive way to new avenues, but how someone is offended by the tone....That tone, is seldom what I have put into my post, but what others have decided to take from it.

I struggle here quite a bit to communicate, and even still, it seems people get offended and cannot focus on a topic.

Jedi in training mind you.

If you are consistently getting offended, or hurt, then perhaps, instead of looking continuously outward at things to blame, you need to unplug, and work on your ability to be in conversations that may deal with a modicum of the diversity of personalities you would meet in the world.

I mean, sure, perhaps sometimes people are getting in some way smoked. However, if it is consistently the same people, all the time complaining, it may be those people need to reevaluate there ability to handle the small amount of resistance you will encounter online.

CableSteele wrote: I value this community and the people who are here. The whole spectrum, from the ever congenial, ever forgiving, ever tolerant MartaLina to the ever confrontational Gisteron we can learn from each other if we can get past the offense that is always available to be taken and, instead, endeavor to forgive the offense.
Now, someone please remind me of this the next time I get offended :S

O i will Jedi , i will , haha , Gis and i are more alike then you think by the way, and my tolerance is not based on lazy assumptions but on a lifelong experience of making an ass of myself and learning from that :laugh:

Khaos wrote: If you are consistently getting offended, or hurt, then perhaps, instead of looking continuously outward at things to blame, you need to unplug, and work on your ability to be in conversations that may deal with a modicum of the diversity of personalities you would meet in the world.

I agree with this too. When you notice an unhealthy pattern about yourself, it's a good idea to step back and examine it. You can't ask a whole group to restructure for one outlier, and there are times when people are better off leaving because they're just not a good fit.

When you've done all you can, that's all you can do.

Edit: The majority voice can also be wrong though. Look at slavery. I'm glad that didn't end with the little guy just "learning to communicate better"

I'm pretty good at ripping into people when i want to

not like "artist" level or anything, but i can dish it out well enough

for me, learning how to not rip into people counts as the developing of a new skill

i think the skill of ripping into people, and the skill of confronting (or just disagreeing with) people without ripping into them, are both useful skills to have

I think both styles can exist here, its just IMO the blunter approach has more of its positive effect when pre-existing trust flows between the relationship, and as such it more limited to the dynamics that get established whether it be formally through Apprenticeship or informally through friendships etc.
Perhaps that is the best way to view 'time in', being that the person is considered trusted to some extent, in some way by the people asserting it as of importance. But without that being made explicit it can come across a bit conceited.

Another important attribute to consider is the value of leadership. A leader has to be able to get away with telling people what they do not want to hear, but need to, or do what they need to do but do not want to. In a workplace (or family) this assertion of control can be appropriate, but online its a bit hit and miss because it seems to assume a lot. But I don't think the soft approach is the opposite of the hard approach, I think the soft approach tries to equalize to relate and in this regard I view it as the better ground to start and build upon.

Anyway, I actually think the hard approach is treating people more like children then the soft approach. I think the soft approach is actually the adult approach....
:S
For example what we are seeing in the Yale video is a hard approach, just without authority. It tries to claim authority by majority.... but the argument is baseless and quickly fails, IMO.

In my book, experience outranks everything.
- Captain Rex, The Clone Wars, 2008

Silas Mercury wrote: In my book, experience outranks everything.
- Captain Rex, The Clone Wars, 2008

Yes, and time in the community is not the only set of experiences

And at the same time, no amount of experience makes you either right in any given situation nor entitles you to rights or protections others don't enjoy. When it comes to how we treat each other experience should be irrelevant, as should age. The reason it seems that they aren't is because time breeds familiarity and connection. It is a side product, not an output.

I've played guitar for 25 years of my life.

There are people I have taught at year 10 from complete beginner only through to the basics who ended up accelerating their skill much beyond my own ability.

Not to mention, there are kids on youtube who are younger than 25 who also have a good deal more skill at it than I do, even after 25 years.

It shows that it doesn't matter how long you've played as much as what you do with the time you have as to how good a guitarist you will be. Good consistent disciplined practice within 5 years always comes to show more results than someone who is much more casual a player over the span of 10.

Silas Mercury wrote: In my book, experience outranks everything.
- Captain Rex, The Clone Wars, 2008

Experience is only valuable when leveraged to inform the positive decisions we make today.