The value of "time in the community"

No, Vandor would not be accepted here, on the other hand, Vandor wouldnt want to be here.

Which is why he isnt.

Of course, I think it its less a matter of being nice, then one of safety, and one thing I can say for you Connor, is that you do not hide in safe places. Nor seek comfort over challenge.

I have never put your feelings before what you needed to hear, because thats not being a true teacher, or friend.

Connor L. wrote: Kit,

I'll clarify. You're right, the WHOLE Jedi community was not like that back then. But, I never saw the version of Jedi you're talking about. I feel as though a large portion (at least 40-50%) of the community was more open and honest about our personalities. Nowadays, when I call somebody out, I get ostracized because I wasn't considerate of their feelings. People have very thin skin in the modern Jedi community. It's part of the reason I resigned all of my posts and I no longer teach Jediism.

Ah! yes. Thank you for explaining Makes MUCH More sense on what it is you meant. And I completely agree

"I question a place where that word is taboo. It means you are not looking for an answer, but an excuse."

I agree.

Connor L. wrote: He's always treated me like an adult (which means giving me a hard time for my short comings).

I don't know what version of adulthood you're living, but in mine we try to help each other develop despite shortcomings, not belittle each other because of them.

If you want to be belittled, you seek out places like 4chan, not a community of students and teachers like TotJO.

Snowy, growth requires conflict and change. I feel, in my own little opinion, that TOTJO has a different way of challenging people that I don't mesh with. That's why I'm not around here much anymore. I don't thrive when I'm not pushed out of the nest. *shrugs* I never said anything about belittling.

Connor L. wrote: Snowy, growth requires conflict and change.

At times, yes. Why is it so important to you that the conflict happen HERE though? The world is full of conflict and places to practice.

I feel, in my own little opinion, that TOTJO has a different way of challenging people that I don't mesh with. That's why I'm not around here much anymore. I don't thrive when I'm not pushed out of the nest. *shrugs* I never said anything about belittling.

I understand that we all have our own learning styles. I only object to people insisting there is only the rough way of doing things. Growth also happens through nurturing. You don't always have to be pushed. Sometimes you're ready to jump.

I don't think TOTJO has any systematic way to challenge people, its meant to be more personal and engaging AFAIK. IMO, ideally the drive comes from within, and not a shove in the back by someone else. The later does run the risk of rebounding, because the acceleration strips away the context of the transformation. This means when challenged you'll have no context to re-orientate and rebuild from failure. Different methods will work best on different people, but this point of view is new to me, so....

When I was 18. I was struggling between becoming an adult and leaving my parents home. Going out into the world and being my own self. I was unprepared and had no idea how to do it, when to do it, I was scared. It was the Jedi Community back then that told me to grow up and stop being a child. That part of being an adult was making up my mind and doing what I needed for me. Some were soft about it. Some were very blunt. I appreciated both methods and it gave me the push I needed to get over my fear and do it.

That was no belittling and misstreating. It was tough and necessary love. There is a big difference. We didn't whine because people told us to grow up. We re-evaluated ourselves and said "Oh....Ya know what....he might be on to something."

Trisskar wrote: That was no belittling and misstreating. It was tough and necessary love. There is a big difference. We didn't whine because people told us to grow up. We re-evaluated ourselves and said "Oh....Ya know what....he might be on to something."

And that worked for you, but lets not deny those that learn from soft methods as well Becoming and adult doesn't have to be administered by baseball bats to the back of the head every time xD

Snowy Aftermath wrote:

Trisskar wrote: That was no belittling and misstreating. It was tough and necessary love. There is a big difference. We didn't whine because people told us to grow up. We re-evaluated ourselves and said "Oh....Ya know what....he might be on to something."

And that worked for you, but lets not deny those that learn from the soft view as well

And lets not deny those that learn from tough love