Brenna's Open Journal - An exploration

elizabeth wrote: I know where my personal line is and I have crossed it here.
My anger and rage is not about this post and I apologise for the language and manner in which I have spoken
Brenna, I do wish you the best whatever you do and I am sorry for any hurt I have caused with my actions.
Know that I will learn from this
And Naya I owe you the same apology.
For anyone else who has been offended I extend the same apology, I have no excuses and I will consider my words more carefully the next time I post

I wasn't offended... a little confused, but not offended.

Damion_Storm wrote: You miss what I am trying to say Mort. I did say I care about YOU as a person as I do everyone. I do not like some things that you do or say those ACTIONS are the issue. Now when I say I wish you the best in what you choose to do, that is not saying I condone your actions and let us give three cheers for your need for destructive actions. What I am saying is I wish you the best. If you continue with your need to be destructive that could end in many negative actions. Is that the best for you? Is Jail the Best for you? Is someone physically harming you it retaliation for what you did to them the Best for you? Is death the Best for you? I don't think they are and therefore when I say I wish you the best in what you choose to do it means I hope you find a path that leads to long life and happiness. I know you say you are happy bringing misery to other but one day maybe you will decide that that is not what makes you happy.

Oh and Jon I don't think one needs to be saved and if so how would one save another from their own wills?

Interesting that you replied . Did I say anything about being saved Master Damion? I am a bit confused. Please, point this out so I may understand. And still I say it is easy to care about someone hundreds or thousand of miles away at the other end of a internet connection. I am glad and reassured you care about everyone.

Zenchi wrote: Lesson Eight: Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis
Feb 23, 2014


"Thesis, Antithesis and Synthesis are the three vital components to what is known as the Hegelian Dialectic, allegedly created by the German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegal. Hegal never actually used the term himself, and did not include the use of the word synthesis as a conclusion to the triad, he just simply called the conclusion to the process, "the whole"."

A Thesis is an unverified idea put forth as an introduction or beginning of an argument. The Antithesis is of course the exact opposite of the original thesis, and serves to contradict or un prove the point of the Thesis presented. Lastly comes a synthesis, which is the conclusion of the argument, but more often times than not serves to only move the argument into another cycle of thesis and anti thesis. This, is important because it is the foundation to form and continue a logically based argument in order to convey our individual points

I have experienced a recent series of events which could be divided into the following Thesis/Antithesis/Synthesis dynamic. Very recently a member who I still admire highly, decided to try an experiment in regards to herself suddenly exploring the other side of her Psyche. It didn't go down quite as she planned, and she and I argued back and forth over the forums for several hours. The next day when the smoke cleared, a few members decided to start things back up again instead of letting dead dogs lie.

Thesis
A man whom I also highly admire, sent me a pm. He suggested I shouldn't get involved in the mess at hand, told me things would play themselves out and to simply observe.

Antithesis
I asked him how he could just sit back and calmly observe as someone like the member mentioned self destructed. This was my reply....

"I can't sit back and "calmly" watch as she decides to ruin her reputation, people will view her like they view Mortose. I can't accept that. That's like sitting calmly while a baby plays with a loaded gun. She's no baby, but she doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't see months and years ahead. She doesn't comprehend the consequences. I wish, I wish I had a friend that gave me a reality slap before I went off on you last year, as well as a host of other things. My reputation here is non existent, I won't stand by and watch her be the next entertainment for the membership here. Loyalty means something to me..."

Thesis
"The old 'if the World is 'corrupt' you do NOT put yourself in accord with it' explained Campbell." He said that things will come and go like the blowing of dried leaves and she needed to have her growing pains. He also stated that their was nothing to forgive, to which I still argue...


It sounded great, but I resisted, out of anger, disgust, guilt?

Antithesis
"I think you misunderstand me ______. I've no problem with her exploring the other side, but doing it here is counter productive. I can't sit by while people around me self destruct. If I did, then I would be a typical Sith. I think the roles have been reversed. I don't see how people can calmly sit back and watch, like its entertainment, like she's the next Mortose. I can't do that.

No, I could.... But then I would be just like Mortose. I soo remember why I left. The tolerance of unmoral behavior here, with Mort and then Ren on the council.... If I became detached, I'd be just like my old self, exactly what people want..."

Synthesis
I would later reflect on what was said by this man I admire, and came the realization, that he was indeed correct. My attachment towards a certain member was what fueled and motivated my actions when I argued back and forth with the member of the Temple in question. I was not fully in control. As much as I hated to admit it, my emotions led me from one argument to another in regards to this member.

My final reply...
"I spent three hours on a journal entry tonight, vented some thoughts.(It wont get posted however) I thought about what you said __________. As usual, you were right. And yes, I know its not about who's right, and who's wrong. Just wanted you to know, that I know.........absolutely nothing."

For anyone interested, I received permission from the individual I exchanged messages with so as to not violate any privacy or trust.

And yet a week after this exchange you attempted to convince me that the man you so "respected" was two faced and had instructed you not to bother with me. So which is it Zenchi, was he right and you were just emotionally involved, or was he was wrong and hes two faced and your the only one who cared about my "self destructing"?


May I remind you that you have no idea what I was trying to achieve with this "experiment" for all that youve pushed me for that.

I never said anything of the sort in regards to Alex being two faced, and you know it...

Zenchi wrote: I never said anything of the sort in regards to Alex being two faced, and you know it...

Thats not really what the PM suggests. And no, I dont know it, or I would not have commented.

As always, you read it how you want too. I discussed using that conversation with him, and at times, if you bothered to read it all, I DID disagree with him. He was right though, and was ultimately the reason I emotionally separated myself from you. I was too attached, plain and simple, he helped me see that...

Zenchi wrote: As always, you read it how you want too. I discussed using that conversation with him, and at times, if you bothered to read it all, I DID disagree with him. He was right though, and was ultimately the reason I emotionally separated myself from you. I was too attached, plain and simple, he helped me see that...

Yes, Ive learned that trick from you.

And yes, I did read it. And what I saw was that a week AFTER that conversation with him you made your comments to me. and "emotionally separated" after I refused to play along. So I find the use of that whole incident in the way youve portrayed it, interesting.

Unless you can cut and paste where I called him two faced, or pointed to it, (and you can't, because i didn't)
you have nothing to go by...

Everyone else is two faced according to you it would seem.

I'll reply to this tomorrow --

-- for now, I've got to go wash my faces and get them to bed. :laugh:

Brenna, Zenchi ... play nicely, please. We're all human here (with all the screwed-upness and beauty that implies).

Here a little lie (whether we mean for it to be or not), there a little error (even the most convincing) and if we don't get too indignant about them, they usually don't take up too much space in the attic ...

Actually, even when we do get indignant about them, they still eventually get hoovered up with the rest of the dust.

I look forward to knowing both of you for a quite long time (so - don't kill one another : play nice !)