Brenna's Open Journal - An exploration

My first thought when I woke up was “fuck this, I’m just going to stay here” The idea of getting up and dealing with peoples stupidity with a smile just more pleasant than a snarl is almost unbearable. I find myself wondering what the chances are of them getting hit by a train or a bus on their way to work. Then I could pretend shock and horror when the stories of their gruesome and satisfyingly messy ends get told. But in reality, I’ll feel nothing. Well not nothing. Relief, if anything, that I never have to look at their ridiculous faces again and hear their bullshit anymore. But there are always more like them. Sigh.

The worst of them, that pompous ass who parades around, exalting like a fat sweaty sultan in his harem of cowering obliging women. This place disgusts me. They all just sit there and take it from him. Pathetic frankly. No matter how much these morons look to me, I dont actually give a shit about helping them. Everything I’m doing is to destroy that sad little jumped up little pig who calls himself man. I will break you, slimy little bastard. I will ensure you can never face your family again and you will end up on the streets and die there.

It’s odd how there seem to be so many people that I could happily just end. The numbers of times I’ve looked on and thought, if I just pushed you a tiny bit right now... and imagined the chaos that would ensue when I started to scream that you’d fallen. I’m talented actress, everyone would believe me when I sobbed about how I tried to save you. Snort, idiots. I’m going to enjoy all the cooing and attention when they try to console me and label me a hero for trying, while I snigger quietly on the inside.

I wonder sometimes what I would learn and master if I stopped paying any attention to the law and just pushed. What and who could I break? In how many creative ways could I take each and every one of these gormless twats and shred their lives until every single stupid, ignorant and pathetically weak thing they do stopped being so damn annoying! Would they hate me? Would they have the energy to?

And what would they do when I was done? Punish me no doubt. I wonder how far a defense of insanity would carry me?

Meh.