Have you killed a human ??

Silas Mercury wrote: Curiosity.

Come on there has to be more than that. It's a big question.

Have you have killed another human in self defense?

No, I'm too much of a wuss. Honestly, pure curiousit.

I've not killed anyone but I've come frighteningly close, mostly because my aim when panicked isn't as good as when I'm calm. I grew up in South Africa and have on two occasions been in a situation where my life depended on my willingness to act. And act I did.


Also, anyone who has is unlikely to tell you about it. Either for reasons of regret, or reasons of discretion and honor.

I have only had the good fortune to have saved lives.

I can only echo my master as I and now my dog too has only saved lives...

Back in the day I had a good K/D ratio on Battlefield.

Silas Mercury wrote: Curiosity.

You are engaging in asking of the most intimate questions you can ask someone. Your motivation does not warrant that degree of intimacy with me.

This story by Tim O'Brien is a decent start, though.

**Language Warning In The Link Below**

How To Tell A True War Story

You'll find that most will put it out of their minds and leave it in the past...it's the easiest way to move on...it's never forgotten....digging it up is not something usually done because it reopens old wounds that take time to heal...

Ok so I have never killed someone. However I will tell you the story of coming close twice. Thankfully both times the presentation of the firearm along with the sound of a pump chambering a round or in the second case the safety coming off were enough to make the person/s run.

The first time it was around 0700 and I was woken by my brother yelling that someone was in the house and that they had a knife. I fought with my locked gun case and then the locked ammo case because I was a responsible owner and locked all those up in different cases. Well let me tell you I have never known panic like that before. Then I grabbed three rounds for my shotgun and loaded them. Chambering a round I screamed for my brother to get down and keep in his room. That is when he yelled that the person was running. I never even got to see the man other then the flash of clothing and sneakers as they whipped out the door. Thankfully the police got him before he got to far.

The second time was much worse. I ended up distracted on the bus and went one stop too far into an area near my house where you did not go after dark if you didnt live there. Well that block and a half was all it took. Trying to get home I suddenly hear snuff that white boy. I turn to see four people starting to run down the street and one of them had something metallic and long in his hand. I drew my pistol and snapped the safety off yelling to stay back. They thankfully turned around and ran.

Now what did those experiences teach me/ feel like? 1. a locked up and unloaded gun is useless when you need it. 2. Even thinking about having to take a life made me sick to my stomach afterwards. I almost threw up, was shaky, and then very very mad. But in the moment there was a clam at my center that I have felt at no other time. So any other questions? I hope that those are the only experiences I have like that because I dont want to think about having to take a life for real. I came close enough to know that I would have if need be but I also know that it would be worse then any of the abuse I have suffered in my life time. Because even if you want to live taking a life takes something out of you, or at least that is what I feel it would have done to me.

I sleep just fine.