Brenna's Open Journal - An exploration

Like I said, foolish to pass judgments.

As for clerical responses, I didn't think you to be in any danger from my reading of the journal. There was no reason for me to respond in any other way than how I did. Were you expecting a concerned hand be extended? Or... wanting it?

Connor Lidell wrote: Like I said, foolish to pass judgments.

As for clerical responses, I didn't think you to be in any danger from my reading of the journal. There was no reason for me to respond in any other way than how I did. Were you expecting a concerned hand be extended? Or... wanting it?

Perhaps, yet you did pass judgement.

I was not expecting anything to be honest, it was a thought that occurred after seeing the support I received from others. But nothing was not a reaction that I think is ideal.

From you though, the reaction was what I expected.

This thread has also helped me realize my patience. There were so many times that I wanted to reply and interject, but I held back because I felt the need to think, rethink, and rethink again. Meditation, watching, learning, back to meditation. My intuition led me to wait for the revelation of an underlying message. Thank you. :lol:

That's true, in a way. Hahaha.

Perhaps I shouldn't have bothered. I reached out, so sorry my reaction wasn't "ideal."

Zenchi wrote: Perhaps I shouldn't have bothered. I reached out, so sorry my reaction wasn't "ideal."

Connor and I are discussing a thread in clergy Zenchi. Yes. You did reach out. For which I am grateful. I appreciate that should I ever need help you are there for me.

I mentioned in another thread, where there was a lot of heated debate going on, how there were hardly any questions, and instead, many conclusions and statements. I even made some...

Imagine how that thread would have gone, if instead, at least half of the replies were questions, and the other half were humble attempts of answers to those questions.

I'm not here to tell anybody how they should see something (including if I think that dark and light are subjective - concluding that is no better than otherwise). I'm simply an apprentice - because I am here to learn. I am here to ask questions, and if the answers I get, don't satisfy me, it only means I still have more growing to do before I learn better questions to ask that the answers will satisfy.

I'm the website's administrator and even a moderator.... but... Not even I am not here to police the forums, or clergy, or the knights, etc, with what "I" think should be done, or what "I" think is right... because I'm not here to assume that I know better than anyone else what is better or what is right. Remember, I am here to learn.

I have things that I can teach through inspiration of who I am and how I work, but never will I cry wolf to try to bring out a group of people that I am here to be learning from, simply because I think that they "don't get it". It is me who "doesn't get it"... and in fact, nobody gets it. If there is something that I have learned the whole 32 years on this planet, it is that no matter how confident or "on a mission" somebody is, nobody really knows what they are doing. Not really.

I'm an apprentice, part of an apprenticeship. That means that while I am here, things flow best for me when I respect that fact with a path of learning, of asking questions, and working on that apprenticeship, instead of spending time on "showing the community what is right to me". That only causes frustration, annoyance, and potentially hurts people who had a certain way of helping me learn laid out for me with a labor of love.

With what happened, here, I hate to have to say it, but I don't see it as any different, than anyone else in those other threads stating what they insists is right and complaining that things are not the way they expect it to be, because it doesn't live up to their philosophy of things. Please keep in mind Brenna, while you do have things to contribute, and inspire among the community, you are an apprentice (and I assume, here to learn first before anything else), and while you did make your point with what happened, I, myself, feel it was disrespectful on a number of levels, because of the fact among various others.

TOTJO, you won't be catching me setting up little acts to "bring people in the community out". There isn't a war here toward people who don't think the way I do, or see things the way I see them, nor should there be toward a clergy who are still developing in how they work. I don't know anything, and so, I won't be insisting anything about how any of you should work or what you should do, or how fast you should jump onto PM'ing me when I am in distress. I'm glad to say, I'm simply an apprentice. I'm still learning. And I don't know any better than any of you.

How did you get to be so wise, so quick? Thank you Proteus, I have learned much from you, and continue to do so...

Proteus wrote: I have things that I can teach through inspiration of who I am and how I work, but never will I cry wolf to try to bring out a group of people that I am here to be learning from, simply because I think that they "don't get it". It is me who "doesn't get it"... and in fact, nobody gets it. If there is something that I have learned the whole 32 years on this planet, it is that no matter how confident or "on a mission" somebody is, nobody really knows what they are doing. Not really.

I'm an apprentice, part of an apprenticeship. That means that while I am here, things flow best for me when I respect that fact with a path of learning, of asking questions, and working on that apprenticeship, instead of spending time on "showing the community what is right to me". That only causes frustration, annoyance, and potentially hurts people who had a certain way of helping me learn laid out for me with a labor of love.

With what happened, here, I hate to have to say it, but I don't see it as any different, than anyone else in those other threads stating what they insists is right and complaining that things are not the way they expect it to be, because it doesn't live up to their philosophy of things. Please keep in mind Brenna, while you do have things to contribute, and inspire among the community, you are an apprentice (and I assume, here to learn first before anything else), and while you did make your point with what happened, I, myself, feel it was disrespectful on a number of levels, because of the fact among various others.

TOTJO, you won't be catching me setting up little acts to "bring people in the community out". There isn't a war here toward people who don't think the way I do, or see things the way I see them, nor should there be toward a clergy who are still developing in how they work. I don't know anything, and so, I won't be insisting anything about how any of you should work or what you should do, or how fast you should jump onto PM'ing me when I am in distress. I'm glad to say, I'm simply an apprentice. I'm still learning. And I don't know any better than any of you.

And yet you seek to tell me that what I have done in an exploration of my perceptions and of peoples reactions is the wrong way to learn. You who has been privvy to the explanation of my actions and discoverys to our Master. And perhaps it is. But according to your post, that is not for you to decide.

I am an apprentice too remember. This is part of my exploration. You say that you would not be telling people should or shouldnt, yet you tell me. Both here and in PM. Your protesting of humilty while chastising me for not doing things the way you would have, doesnt fit well with the intention of your post mon frère.

And no, it is no different to the other threads. It is rude and disrespectful. As it was intended to be. My "little act" as you call it was the result of a great deal of contemplation, and a great deal more honesty than an "act" which you well know.

I'm an apprentice too and I will be learning even as a knight. Learning will never stop for me, but being an apprentice isn't going to stop me from sharing knowledge I've gained based on the experiences I've had in my life. And in my experience, when someone is having a brain fart, it's far better to offer something to consider and step away than it is to interfere in the process.

I have asked questions in threads before. Mostly they were ignored, so ummm yeah....