Definition of Christianity.

Read the whole post before attemting to cut me down with your verbal lightsabers. LOL Some of you may have seen this before, but I felt it holds some merit/educational value.

Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh
and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can
remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a Magical Tree.


Alright, first off, thats just funny, I mean really, if you can't find humor in this, your taking life too seriously.

Now in all seriousness if you take away all the Judgemental Sarcasm, this is a pretty accurate description of what Christians believe. It breaks down the core beliefs and removes all the stories and examples of why one should believe and strictly defines the beliefs themselves. When you look at it like this it really doesn't make sense though does it? I mean, I know faith plays its part, but that faith must be based on something somewhat tangible. When its really broken down, this doesn't seem very tangible, not even remotely, I wouldn't even attempt to get a child to believe with a break down like this, they'd likely look at me like I'm retarded. So of all the story books in the world, the Bible is likely the most translated and read of all. Why then with all the stories in the Bible do they criticise those who base their beliefs in some other story book? Though we have mentioned all over this site that most religions when broken down to their base beliefs are at the least similar, most of thier accompanying stories to back up and enhance thier particular beliefs are quite different. Some that make some sense and many that don't. Same as in the bible, so why do most Christians disregard others beliefs as satanistic, atheistic, or paganistic? Are they not all basing their beliefs in the same sort of medium (method of delivery from particular deity(ies))?

Ok, I keep re-reading this feeling like I'm leaving something unsaid that I want to say, but can't figure out what it is, so maybe some of your comments will re-trigger it in my mind, so I'll have to post it later I guess.

So this paragraph is a great example as to why I do not believe in any particular religion, I only wish I had a paragraph like this that broke down every religion, so we could have a discussion on all of them, unfortunately this is the only one I've found so far. So with that said, post your comments and thoughts, this should be a great passionate discussion.

Very interesting train of thought, my friend.

Christianity holds to the basic teaching that Christ is, \"the way, the truth and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.\"
John 14:6
Those that hold to this as ultimate truth, believe everyone else is wrong. It gives or leaves no room for another option or choice. That is why most Christians disregard others beliefs as satanistic, atheistic, or paganistic. They believe there is only one way.

Dhagon Krayt wrote:

Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh
and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can
remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a Magical Tree.

Lol. I tried, but I just can`t resist. So I´ll add my comment.

There are just a few points which don`t seem to add up. This definition of Zombie...
\"A zombie is a reanimated human body devoid of consciousness.\"
-Wikepedia
...seems to sum up common thought and also what I considered a zombie to be. The thing is that Jesus Christ was fully conscious: He descended into hell for three days, spoke to individual with a precise purpose, even ate fish with disciples... . This someone far from being devoid of consciousness. Jesus Christ, after the resurection, epitemised the new Man, the second Adam, with the perfect body...; something far from a rotting body brought back to life.

As far as the symolically eating the flesh is concerned, this depends on what part of christianity you are from. Quackers, Protestants... do not practise this; Lutherans, Methodists... believe in symbolism of the bread and wine; Roman Catholics, some Anglicans... do not believe this as being symbolic, but believe IT IS the body and blood. So its not simple as it has been put.

According to Christian Faith people do not have telepathic communication with God...
\"apparent communication from one mind to another by extrasensory means\"
-Merriam-Webster`s medical Dictionary
... but have a deep sense of trust in prayer. Its not like they are having a telephone conversation. Very often believers hear nothing; they maybe only feel... . It is supposed to be an act of faith.

Just a few points....

Like most things in our society today, it has to be special, or its crap. Religion is no different than Taco Bell, McDonald's, or any other company, they need customers. The feeling of being a part of an exclusive thing is a powerful sales tool. In no way am I bashing christianity, I attend a baptist church at least once a month. Always the sermons are about the exclusivity of christianity, and warnings 'Believe in Christ, or BURN!' I like the time I spend there, it allows me time to bridge the Jediism beliefs, with my own.

I too have problems believing in the invisible man in the clouds who watches your every move.

Also, check out what 'The Book' has to say about it. That really opened my eyes to some things.

KieranHalcyon wrote:

Like most things in our society today, it has to be special, or its crap. Religion is no different than Taco Bell, McDonald's, or any other company, they need customers. The feeling of being a part of an exclusive thing is a powerful sales tool. In no way am I bashing christianity, I attend a baptist church at least once a month. Always the sermons are about the exclusivity of christianity, and warnings 'Believe in Christ, or BURN!' I like the time I spend there, it allows me time to bridge the Jediism beliefs, with my own.

I too have problems believing in the invisible man in the clouds who watches your every move.

Well, at this point we have to ask ourselves is Christianity what responsibles have made of Christ`s work or how millions of people respond to his call?