Child Abuse or Discipline?

I already know how I feel, but I'll hold that until later.

I knew that was gonna be hard to watch when I saw the post title. Still, her bravery deserves our respect. These parents only do this because they know no better. If they understood what negative reinforcement does this would look just as stupid to them as it does to us. I had to learn the same lesson with my dog. I'd say I put as much terror in my dog as those parents put in their daughter. And we both love our daughters. We just want them to learn and know no other way to discipline. Now I do. And I hope that these parents and all parents do, but they cannot unless someone teaches them

I'm no child psychologist, but in my opinion (never had kids of my own but I was one, and some think I still am one!) it transitions from extreme discipline into child abuse at 1:20.

Well I think the use of "tools" (belts?) is inappropriate. Wanna beat up your child for their own good, gotta be willing to have a sore hand.

You disciple someone by letting them face to consequenses of their actions, not by beating the crap out of them.

This is child abuse.

ren wrote: Well I think the use of "tools" (belts?) is inappropriate. Wanna beat up your child for their own good, gotta be willing to have a sore hand.

Wish my Dad had that idea... My a** is hurting from the belt, how does that belt feel dad?

Hurts you more than it hurts me? Hmmm, that logic falls short for a child....

When I was "bad", my Dad used to spank us with a belt...

" You ready to dance the Leather Fandango?" were words that struck fear and terror in my sister and me...

"I'll never do that to my kids", I thought...

If my sieve of a memory serves me right, I never used anything but my hand, and after a particular incident in my past, (involving alcohol and a bad attitude), even that stopped.....

It is a fine line in life to judge another's actions... We can sit here and be all offended... And while I agree that this is over the top as a punishment, I am sure the parents are thinking this is the only way to discipline their daughter.... Has she already been grounded? Swatted once or twice? Possibly they are just ignorant.....

Is the daughter goading the parents? Who set up the camera? Is that a little glance at the camera by the girl right before it turns off?

Follow anyone, or setup the right circumstances, and eventually, sh*t will hit the fan....

Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus, Mother Teresa, all wonderful, beautiful people and souls.... Were they always? They don't sound like such a "saint" if we tarnish the idea of perfection we all have of them with a little every realism...

Think none of them swore? Spoke in haste or anger?

I don't know either, but I'm trying my best, to be the best me, I can be...

Back to me for a minute....

1. My dad thought spanking with a belt was the best way to punish me... I of course disagreed, but I sure did not commit the same offence (or tried harder to get away with it...)

2. Using a belt was harsh, like ren said, if it is gonna hurt them, it oughta hurt me as well, I used my hands... Until my wife thought I was going to hit her, she hit me, then I hit her back.. A serious black day in the history of the jestor household...

3. The logic of using a hand still doesn't work, as one shouldn't have to lay hands on another for an idea to get through... Maybe timeouts, and groundings? They seem to be working for my son, they did not work for my oldest daughter, but then neither did spanking...

4. So now what? Every child, adult, person, situation, and combination of situations is unique... Although there are, of course similarities, each situation is still unique...

If anyone, has the right, one-size-fits-all answer for the correction of a child, why are you keeping it to yourself?
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My dad, and I'm smiling now as I say this, ask me, "well Jesus christ James, you know I'm gonna beat you with a belt... Why did you do that?"

"I don't know", I muttered... But, really I didn't care... I am testing my boundaries... Seeing what I can, and cannot, do....

They day we realize we control ourselves and those around us (to a very limited degree), is a very interesting moment... I could make my dad angry, happy, or anywhere in-between, and if I let him, he could control me....
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Knarf said, "You disciple someone by letting them face to consequenses of their actions, not by beating the crap out of them."

Isn't the beating a consequence?

Now, you can avoid the same offence, thereby avoiding the escalation of punishment for the same offence...

Which it sounds from the audio of this scene, this child was told not to put whatever game it was, back on there...

This means the parents are monitoring their child's computer useage... A necessary evil in today's society... I prolly ought to monitor my child's useage more... I hope he hasn't found out about porn yet... He is twelve now...

Just my thoughts....

You disciple someone by letting them face to consequenses of their actions

LOL. Next time my son plays with the gas knob, I'll burn down the neighbourhood, to show him the consequences of his actions.


Jestor I used to fight with my dad. Problem was I was fit, the only advantage he had over me was weight... Then one day he broke my computer as retaliation for car and industrial euipment theft, so I parked his car in a river. That would be when he realized I was hopeless. But that was a testosterone thing, a problem in the family and I wasn't spared. Nowadays I'm in control and the only crimes I commit are normal (not thrill-related) and only relate to importations, tax/tariff and bribery (that last one is a crime in the UK even when commited outside of it, nonsense). I actually fear for my son, He's only three, he's hairy and stinks already. For f**ks sake. And btw, he does get a slap when he "finds" a knife. When I shout it makes him laugh.

The joys of parenthood...

You won't have to burn down the neighborhood... When the time is right, and Dad is not around to yell, he will check to see how "hot", hot is....

I'm the kid:
-who shot spitballs at the ceiling and blamed the babysitter (lol)
-who got knocked on his butt for sticking a metal nail file in a light socket....
-who got grounded for the knife holes in the
A. Beanbag chair as a toddler
B. Holes in the walls and floors from practicing "throwing" kitchen knives...
-who's dad hit him so hard, and so many times, my head felt like it was wobbly, and made of jello, for being at the local store, playing a video game and not at a friends house like I said... Then getting busted, told to get my butt home, on the way, people were burning leaves, my father thought I was smoking something, and was trying to beat the confession and honest answer out of him...
-who did a myriad of other, uhh, misdeeds that i was never caught for, stealing mom and dads car, underage, and getting it hack in one piece... aiming a pulled bow, loaded with an arrow at another child, threatening to shoot him if he didn't leave... loaded gun in my mouth (this one took some thought to not try pulling trigger).... and oh, so much more....

My daughter, the eldest, the wild child, when the punishments stopped working, I told her she was now responsible for here actions... And that I would do my best to help, and offer advice, but she was ultimately responsible for her actions, thereby her fate...

She has had to experience many things, accept many consequences for her actions....

Such is life...

I got in trouble for things I did, and things I was merely blamed for... We all have I'm sure...

Hell, less than a month ago, someone stole money at TKD, I think posted that story in another thread... Maybe that is the story I wrote and never posted... Anyway, it got so heated between my GM, that I thought he was going to fire me, and banish me from the do-jang... Maybe I was going to have to leave on my own, falsely accused? Yea, and there is a lot more to the story, but this thread isn't about this story, it is about punishment, so maybe another time...

Adder wrote: I'm no child psychologist, but in my opinion (never had kids of my own but I was one, and some think I still am one!) it transitions from extreme discipline into child abuse at 1:20.

I'm with you on that one.

One of the reasons I joined this temple was in hopes of attuning myself to the Force and somehow coming to an understanding about this "opera" we call life. There are many answers out there, but I've yet to find one that satisfies me intellectually and spiritually (it always seems to be one or the other).

I'll need to re-listen to lecture 2 from Joseph Campbell who discussed some of the problems of life and our place in it and how we should view it.

But anyway, back to the subject of the thread, yes, I believe it was child abuse.

Sometimes I tell my parents some of the things they didn't know about me... Some of the stuff I did as a teenager makes me laugh

Anyway, in this story, I don't understand what this girl did wrong. Did she wank on her webcam or something? ("whore" and "computer" in the same sentence)