Child Abuse or Discipline?

Also, I would agree that you can't blame him for being upset, even seriously angry, but you can blame him for the way he reacted. I know my parents have been seriously angry with me for things I have done, but I've never been hit. My father was beat severely as a child, and thankfully for myself he broke the cycle and never once laid a hand on me.

That being said though, when I messed up, I knew it, and I never did it again. He had his own ways of making me know what I'd done was wrong, and making sure I didn't do it anymore. The same with my mom.

Anger is acceptable, his actions though are not.

Coryduran wrote:
That being said though, when I messed up, I knew it, and I never did it again. He had his own ways of making me know what I'd done was wrong, and making sure I didn't do it anymore.

My parents didn't believe in spanking and neither do I now. The only time my parents ever struck me was immediately after I struck one of them. I was so angry at my mother I just slapped her and she didn't hesitate to slap me right back. The lesson was learned: if you hit me, expect to be hit. I doubt that daughter ever hit her father after a beating like that. She has absolutely no power over her father. Just like when I was that age I knew, and blow I could deal to my mom she could deal right back. And rightfully so, I'd expect no one to feel like they can't defend themself. Yet here this man has taught this girl she must "submit"

Clearly this mans judgement on what is and is not child abuse is just plain wrong. That is his child. She is being physically and mentally abused. She should be going to therapy, and he should be removed from his position and put on a steady regimen of MDMA until he realizes what he's done.

I was brought up in a home that was run with love and care. BUT... my dad was the boss and ruled the house with an iron fist. Discipline was done with a belt and the sound of his boots coming home from work made me so afraid, I was like Pavlov's dog. I would here the boots and piss myself. When my mother said "wait til your father comes home", I just trembled.

Now I am not going to say this happened a lot. It didn't need to. It did happen enough to leave a mental image that I would wish on no one else. One day my mom said those fateful words when I was about 15yo. When my dad came home he told me to wait on him up in my room. So I did(not turning my back on him in fear of getting hit)and there I waited, scared and feeling abandoned. Finally my dad came up stairs, sat on the bed, and stared at me.

I remember his words well. He said "Your getting to old for me to be doing this. If you want to be treated like an adult, start acting like one. I don't want to have to spank you. Do you think I like coming home from work to do this? Please don't make me do this again. Now I going down stairs to eat. Come down in a few minutes and make mom think I spanked you."

It was at that moment I realized he was not the bad guy. He was stuck in a situation that he too could not stop. I was never hit again, and I gave him no reason to do it.

I may have gotten spanked by the belt but I was never "beaten" like the girl in the you tube. I agree with Jestor that we only see a segment of the total situation that precluded the incident. I do not believe that a person who sits in judgement over child abusers can be given any quarters on this issue. Having seen the outcome of terrible abuse and neglect, he should be more tolerant or at least more prepared to adequately discipline a child in an appropriate manor.

I wonder if there have been so many beatings that the daughter set up her father to be sued, or if she was just a spoiled child seeking revenge.

Either way it reminds us that the world looks different from a distance.

Coryduran wrote: Well I guess ultimately what he did could cost him his career. I read that while he won't be facing charges, there is still some board or whatever meeting over his fate as a judge, and a very likely possibility that he will be required to vacate the bench.

The RIAA, a powerful lobby group will make sure he is perceived as a hero upholding justice and whatnot. If he loses his job, they'll hire him.

ren wrote: The RIAA, a powerful lobby group will make sure he is perceived as a hero upholding justice and whatnot. If he loses his job, they'll hire him.

That's disgustingly corrupt and completely unjust.

We can all discuss this forever and we can tell stories about what our parents did and what we now do as parents but what difference does it make in our world? we need to be making sure this never happens to anyone else. Physical harm of any kind should not be tolerated. No one ever has the right to hurt another person without that person being able to defend themselves in a fair fight. It's against free will. We wouldn't need laws if people just respected eachothers right to free will. If this father understood his power as a parent he would have taken away privileges rather than giving physical pain. This is all so disgusting. People should know better but the people are being kept stupid and ignorant. We behave like animals. We should expect nothing less than animalistic violence.

The animals in my town are the kids who didn't get disciplined. The worst bit is, the rich kids go comit their crimes and other antisocial things on the council estates, making it shitter over there for everyone.they should legalize human roadkill.

I believe this is abuse. Not only physical but psychological; forcing ones dominance over another person. Why some people are allowed to breed is beyond me. Before someone disciplines they should be calm and in a state of understanding. What message does he think he is really conveying? Is this what he was subjected to? Children imitate what they learn. Healthy or unhealthy! When does the cycle stop?

Lack of discipline is not the only reason most children act out. Even with a decent upbringing; lack of attention can stem a rebellious reaction. There are many reasons children misbehave. I feel pity for them. How bad must your life been for you to make you feel that this behavior is acceptable to reach the desired effect of your actions? Blame is not the answer. Action by the ones responsible (parents) could quell this behavior. Physical discipline at a young age can be effective but as the child ages different approaches (types of reasoning) can be more affective. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions. And, I don’t believe there is any one right answer; because, we are all different and in different situations.

lack of attention can stem a rebellious reaction. There are many reasons children misbehave. I feel pity for them. How bad must your life been for you to make you feel that this behavior is acceptable to reach the desired effect of your actions? Blame is not the answer. Action by the ones responsible (parents) could quell this behavior.

Absolutely. A good beating is a show of attention, and unless the kid is masochist, will also be an effective deterrent. Fear of the police should help too. I'm not saying coppers should behave like the american ones, but if they are given some kind of power it would definitely help. There was a poll in the UK recently where nearly 50% of the population thought kids were thugs. Can you believe 10 year olds make sexual advances to 30 year old women? (In the street just like that) They only do it because they know the bloke next to her will not beat the crap out of them. Well one of the little shits tried to knife me once, cut a finger... He paid for it.

I am from the South, in the US. Texas to be precise and we are raised to accept certain behaviors as being unacceptable. Not to say that we don’t have our own problems, but on the whole, behavior that would lead to such actions is beaten out of us at early age. Now in the inner city there dose seem to be more, less desirable, social behaviors tolerated; and that is why neither I nor my daughter go there. Not to say that if I witnessed such a thing I wouldn’t respond to it. But, if they don’t understand that what they are doing is wrong, why would they change? Sometimes the punishment just teaches the person to fear the punisher, not that there was wrong. And I do be leave the police should be afforded more authority and ability to respond without fear of reprisal.

ren wrote: The animals in my town are the kids who didn't get disciplined. The worst bit is, the rich kids go comit their crimes and other antisocial things on the council estates, making it shitter over there for everyone.they should legalize human roadkill.

Legaliz human roadkill? My god I thought we were Jedi. I thought we were here to spread peace and justice throughout the galaxy. And here you are, a proponent of senseless murder. I realize you may be joking and that you may not actually want to commit vehicular manslaughter but you do seem to be on the side of abuse. How can we make this world a better place if we are not understanding of those we see as wrong? They only do wrong because they know no better. Do not hate them or be angry with them or hurt them. TEACH THEM. They are children in the bodies of adults that still have many lessons to learn. Unfortunately the children as adults can still have kids and do. So if were going to be changing laws, I propose we make a test for potential parents to ensure that they understand the necessities of raising a healthy human being, those that fail will be offered classes. That way people like this father would have been taught the negative psychological effects of negative reinforcement.

I mean hey, were overpopulated as is. I'm never one to take away peoples rights but maybe making the test really hard would make this world a better place in a few generations. Less people and the people that are here would have had a solid upbringing and would probably be less likely to follow the path of the Dark Side