Why do people here feel unimportant?

I'm sure it's human nature that we all seek out 'connection' naturally as part of our psychology IMO, for various reasons, to understand, to be understood, to feel connected, to create new areas of growth etc. Positive feedback to it then authenticates ones commitment to their path. Negative feedback creates anger and resentment which can breed all sorts of complex machinations. But an absence of feedback.... can it do either? Does the absence of feedback 'have' to be viewed as a negation of ones effort to connect?

I'd just be happy if they had time to post more general stuff rather then being required to be seen to 'hear' every idea and concern. Whenever someone enters Council they disappear into the void of no more posting
:laugh:
But of course now as Council Secretary I get to see why, they are still posting its just they are too busy doing admin stuff... and usually discussing the ideas being talked about in the main forum. Ooops I"m not allowed to talk about what goes in there
:S

I mean, to what extent must every idea be addressed to make it known that they are being heard on what is the forum they run for the discussion to be had in the first place! There is only so much time in the day. I've seen lots of changes here at TOTJO, and many of them generated by the membership at large.... so there is no grounds to say it does not happen. People may feel that way from time to time, but to what extent is it systematic and to what extent is it other things.

I feel unimportant.....Because I am not important. Not here or anywhere else.

I know alot of people Assume that I think I am king of the Jedi....

They Think that I think I know everything

That I have some grand master plan and hope to take over the community.

I have heard alot of things about who and what I am....by people who don't know a single thing about me or why I do things.

That.....Also makes me feel unimportant. Because people don't feel I am important enough to get to know me. To understand me....They just assume the worst of me

Why?

Because I come off strong....

Because I am passionate

Because I am steadfast in my beliefs, morals and opinions

Growing up I have always learned that these were important traits to have.....and then I come into the Jedi community and find out it just makes enemies and makes people hate you.

That....Makes me feel unimportant as well.

But....I have learned something

I have learned that, i don't need other peoples opinions to be happy. I don't need to be heard to do great things. I don't need to be apart of something to be even greater. I just need to be myself and those that are important to me and really care...will seek me out and show it. Those are the people I want in my life anyways so Its less drama

Be happy

Smile

Do your very best

And remember that, you may not be important to the big scheme of things.....But you are important to yourself and all the little things you effect. And...If you really think about it...It is the little things that matter the most

Adder wrote: See, I wrote that edit in all seriousness. If something can be taken 2 ways, one positive and one negative, it's not always accurate to assume its negative. I was actually worried that you were uncomfortable with answering questions - after I realized I was asking a question about someone answering a question.

My post should have made it clear to you that further questioning on the matter is not the right thing to do - in other words, part of the problem that I wrote about in my first post. But you asked a question anyways... and then added a further edit basically saying "gee golly, I hope I'm not part of the problem here!" Do you not see how that might infuriate someone just a little bit? Come on.

Adi wrote:

Adder wrote: See, I wrote that edit in all seriousness. If something can be taken 2 ways, one positive and one negative, it's not always accurate to assume its negative. I was actually worried that you were uncomfortable with answering questions - after I realized I was asking a question about someone answering a question.

My post should have made it clear to you that further questioning on the matter is not the right thing to do - in other words, part of the problem that I wrote about in my first post. But you asked a question anyways... and then added a further edit basically saying "gee golly, I hope I'm not part of the problem here!" Do you not see how that might infuriate someone just a little bit? Come on.

Well obviously my question wasn't about your beliefs, it was about you saying Br John's question made you feel unwelcome in the community.

I was trying to ascertain why you feel unwelcome, as I didn't see anything negative being said. I still don't know for sure... he was discussing your religious views yes, but that happens a lot here. It seemed a fair question, exploratory and not unwelcoming. I'm only asking because you said it made you feel unwelcome. So maybe my edit is accurate, you really don't want to talk about it at all!? In which case I am sorry for asking. Just don't say I didn't try.

There is an overwhelming feeling of "if you don't like it, leave" here. It is repeated often (it is in the FAQ, for pity's sake) to people who just want to help. Nobody in a position of power should EVER say "suck it up" or worse "Jedi up" (which is so offensive, I can't even express it) to anyone else.

Compassion. Compassion, compassion, compassion. Empathy. Please. From YOU. Whoever you are.

Adder wrote: I was trying to ascertain why you feel unwelcome, as I didn't see anything negative being said. I still don't know for sure... he was discussing your religious views yes, but that happens a lot here. It seemed a fair question, exploratory and not unwelcoming. I'm only asking because you said it made you feel unwelcome. So maybe my edit is accurate, you really don't want to talk about it at all!? In which case I am sorry for asking. Just don't say I didn't try.

And the problem I mentioned in my first post, which if you haven't read, please do, is that most people here don't get a fucking inquisition every time they mention their own religious views. Pagan? You're fine. Buddhist? Of any flavour? You're fine. Atheist? You're fine. Christian, moral therapeutic deist-type? You're fine. Traditional (but progressive) Episcopalian/Anglican? AWOOGA AWOOGA AWOOGA!

If you read Br. John's post and really do not believe that it was addressed to me, and only me (as the only Anglican, as far as I know, in the room), I don't know what to say. Spong, for instance, is a controversial figure in the Episcopal Church and Anglican Communion mainly, not anywhere else. (Anywhere else, people tend to assume Spong is representative of us.) This entire discussion, from Br. John's post to your post I am replying to right now, is a perfect example of why I feel deeply unwelcome in this community.

Adi wrote:

Adder wrote: I was trying to ascertain why you feel unwelcome, as I didn't see anything negative being said. I still don't know for sure... he was discussing your religious views yes, but that happens a lot here. It seemed a fair question, exploratory and not unwelcoming. I'm only asking because you said it made you feel unwelcome. So maybe my edit is accurate, you really don't want to talk about it at all!? In which case I am sorry for asking. Just don't say I didn't try.

And the problem I mentioned in my first post, which if you haven't read, please do, is that most people here don't get a fucking inquisition every time they mention their own religious views. Pagan? You're fine. Buddhist? Of any flavour? You're fine. Atheist? You're fine. Christian, moral therapeutic deist-type? You're fine. Traditional (but progressive) Episcopalian/Anglican? AWOOGA AWOOGA AWOOGA!

If you read Br. John's post and really do not believe that it was addressed to me, and only me (as the only Anglican, as far as I know, in the room), I don't know what to say. Spong, for instance, is a controversial figure in the Episcopal Church and Anglican Communion mainly, not anywhere else. (Anywhere else, people tend to assume Spong is representative of us.) This entire discussion, from Br. John's post to your post I am replying to right now, is a perfect example of why I feel deeply unwelcome in this community.

Hmm ok then, its outside my purview, but yes I read the pertinent posts many times over the last 30 minutes to think over what was going on. Sorry you feel unwelcome.

To me it is profanity in forum posts which debases all of us.

Dechlain wrote: To me it is profanity in forum posts which debases all of us.

That's your biggest concern, in response to all of the valid and real concerns posted in this thread? Profanity in a forum post?

Yes, Adi. To me it speaks to a level of respect. Poor self-respect on the part of the person who posted. And poor respect for the rest of us on the part of the person who posted. To me, that makes me feel unimportant.