So, anecdotally, I've witnessed that either the person doesn't like whoever is doing the helping, or the person helping is being a little
too helpful. Like going out of their way to be wherever the other person is to do nice things for them. Not saying that either party is wrong, but there's a fine line between just being passingly polite and being over the top polite. I do agree that if a female is having a bad day and someone -- a male in this case -- happens to try to be nice to the female, the situation can go in one of many directions. She can either say that he was harassing her, or see that not everybody is a piece of crap, or whatever her imagination inspires. In this case, there isn't enough information to determine anything beyond what was posted. Not much can really be extrapolated from this point.
What is defined as "helping" women?
Usually no more than "helping" men. I think the quotation marks are unnecessary because any typical helping isn't motivated by more than trying to be nice. Otherwise, why would anybody "help" the poor or homeless? Again, not enough information to go on.
How many actual cases of men being seriously punished for such incidents as holding open a door or trying to help a woman on a project exist?
That really depends on the sensitivities of the woman. But, then, I've also experienced men feeling threatened by being helped, too. Mainly because they feel they can do it on their own and feel like the person helping doesn't think they can do it on their own, which is just a projection of that person's insecurities onto someone just trying to help. Then again, I think it all comes down to the attitude of the helper and the helpee.
Why is it that men are threatened by the idea of being punished for wrongdoing as opposed to being threatened by the idea that other men might be harassing and/or assaulting women in the workplace?
I doubt this is a case of feeling threatened by the idea of being punished for wrongdoing, but being punished for even so little as a passing glance to see who's there and what they're doing. I do this all the time. It's called scanning. But, then, I'm also a supervisor, so it's a requirement, in a way. Growing up, I was taught to hold doors open for people, greet them with a "How do you do?" and be on my way. Just a polite gesture that means very little by way of what I may or may not think of that person.
Men want to be perceived as moral upstanding citizens by their actions...
I don't really see why that is a problem. Is that also not the Jedi thing to do? Do we not also want to be seen as upstanding Jedi? By our actions and the words we speak to people? I'm not going to be unexpressive toward people, as if they're just like a vegetable or a piece of furniture. That would be unhuman and un-Jedi, to me.
We're talking about undoing centuries of systematic dehumanization: women, for the better part of human existence, have been considered property not people in Western civilization.
Not arguing against that, but how many women out there, out of all the women in the Western world, think like this on a daily basis? Again, not a lot of information to say.
You see, there are lots of people out there who experience oppression on one or two axis (queer and suffering from mental illness, queer and living with a physical disability) who get caught up in a particularly violent and self-castrating ideology which paints itself as the only true form of progress. They use their oppressed status as a way to shield themselves from actual, useful criticism and refuse to acknowledge that any strategy other than their own could be more beneficial to helping themselves and others like them. Instead, this ideology creates such hostility, escalating every confrontation into a zero-sum game that many people who would otherwise help are completely turned off by what they've seen.
Agreed. Couldn't agree with you more on this observation. In fact, that was more eloquently put than I would've been able, at this point. Thank you.
