Rape Culture

I actually recently went through SAPR (Sexual Assault Prevention and Response) training. It's a yearly requirement in the Air Force. The first thing the instructor had us do was stand up, then she had signs in the room that said "Yes" or "No" She asked "Do you know someone who has been raped?" Out of the 20 people who were in that room, three young Airmen went and stood by the 'no'. I was absolutely shocked. We were then asked if we knew more than one person who was raped. Two more people went to stand by the "no". The third question was "How many of you know a male who was raped?" which left four people standing by "Yes". This is a random group of people pulled from the squadron who required the training. It's kind of scary considering that we're supposed to be looking out for each other and here 17 people out of 20 knew someone who had been raped and 15 knew of more than one.

As a female, I feel sorry for the guys who have to watch every step they take when they are out drinking. "No means no" and "Alcohol means no consent". It sucks that a few women wake up in the morning with regrets and it's the men who take the fall. It sucks that because of that, other women who were genuinely raped are held against that.

The Air Force has two different ways to report. Restricted and Unrestricted. Restricted Reporting does not go anywhere beyond medical and mental aid for the victim and there are several resources to go to for Restricted Reporting including the Chaplain, and not even the Chain of Command gets notified about it. (I just say this because I think it's pretty awesome that this is available.)

The numbers are staggering though. In the Department of Defense (military and civilians under DoD) there were 5,518 victims in fy 2013 (14% were male) only 3,768 are unrestricted reports. They estimate that only 11% of sexual assaults are reported (either restricted or unrestricted).

(Here's the big document: http://www.sapr.mil/public/docs/reports/FY13_DoD_SAPRO_Annual_Report_on_Sexual_Assault.pdf)
(Here's the fact sheet: http://www.sapr.mil/public/docs/reports/FY13_DoD_SAPRO_Annual_Report_Fact_Sheet.pdf)

The training we were given lists the jokes as being the starting point for the "hunt". Fostering an environment where they can separate their target. (I’m sorry, most of my working experience is in the military so this is most that I can share, and I don’t remember it being that much different on the outside honestly) I don't know if you've ever sat in a military work center but the jokes are common. I've never considered them bad enough to pull issues with but I guarantee that if the Commander or a SAPR coordinator were present, we'd get into serious trouble. Are these jokes fostering a rape culture? Eh, partly. I'm not male, and I know the guys curb their tongue a bit around me, but I’ve heard the ‘usual’ talk of treating women as little better than meat. Do I feel as if they do towards me? No. Are they just joking or posturing and don’t mean it? Probably mostly.

My personal view on male vs female as far as standards go is this: "Hi! You're a person! Let's respect each other and be friends!". I see the double standards all the time. They go both ways. I'll ask guys at work to help me to install the UPSs that weigh 80+ lbs. But that's generally a two-person job anyways. I'll ask guys to get stuff from the higher racks if they're easier to get than a ladder because I'm short and stubby and most of them are taller than me. But if I punch a guy, I expect to get a fight back. Other than my siblings, I've never struck anyone. Mostly because that's not my personality, but partly because I don't like hurting and I expect repercussions

There has been very few times where I have felt discounted because I am female and I do wonder how many of those were simply perception on my part. Most of them revolve around work. Part of them revolve around video or card games. There are many people out there who don’t think I know what I know or can do what I do simply because I am female. It is irritating sometimes. Sometimes it’s simply funny. But I rarely take it personal. Half of the time it falls to my advantage because they underestimate me. I know I’m an odd-ball as far as the classic female view goes, so much of that comes with the territory. I don’t think it necessarily SHOULD but I do think that it does make me interesting haha.

Edit: meant to add:

Whyte Horse wrote: Sometimes she says things like "A woman must respect her husband" and it enrages the women on my side of the family but we all know she's right.

I'd have to agree with your wife although I'd have to add "A husband must respect his wife." I don't know one relationship that has lasted long without mutual trust and respect

Kamizu wrote: But if I punch a guy, I expect to get a fight back

A very unpopular opinion, but one I agree with...

Growing up male, I was told I could not hit my sister, or any girl, generally being weaker than me... Im a big guy...

But, when I complained that my sister would hit me first, I was told it doesnt matter, and that I couldnt hit girls...

Thats some bull, lol... (it was my sister, lol, you know I hit her back, and then had to bribe her to be quiet, lol)

Ive had a change of heart after watching something, I forget what, but, basically, the gist of it was, "If a woman wants to punch like a man, then I will treat her like she wants to be treated, because I dont tolerate being punched my men either..."

Sorry for the derail, I was going to say it earlier, but since KAmizu brought it up, I thought I might as well throw it in there...

Although we do have our local societies, such as where Ren lives, versus where I live, versus where Brenna lives...

We are becoming a world society, and therefore s 'world culture'...

Not really. If a woman forces me to have sex with her, I cannot accuse her of rape, but she can counter-accuse me of rape. That is the society I live in, and I know it's not the same everywhere else.

Similarly in the US you guys get bits of your junk cut off as babies, because a very long time ago someone had the grand idea it would prevent you from masturbating, I have not experienced this culture.

I dont know that I would call your definition a 'rape culture' Ren...

That seems like a oppressive culture, a dictatorship, but "rape"?

Rape is basically defined as "unwanted sexually acts" or "sexual acts against the will of the victim".... I didnt look that up, it is how it would be defined if you walked up to the average person and ask them if they knew what "rape" is...

While it would and does include power over the victim, that is dominance... Unless you are considering the mental abuse as 'mind rape'?

Actually it's not a dictatorship, it's a constitutional monarchy called the UK. This is what the situation for men here is. The circumcision thing is more of a US thing however, and yes, I dare say that it's an even worse type of rape than forced sex. forced sex means unwanted bodily fluids, maybe even disease... but no cutting bits off your junk.

rape is to be deprived of control over your own sexuality, I would indeed understand "mind rape" as being a loss of control over one's own mind.

You know the number of men and women that have been abused or raped IS staggering..

I went up hanley to club last week-end... Was kind of a dead night, which means people had more opportunities to talk to one another... What staggers me is that the concept of rape even still exists. Don't get me wrong, when I went out regularly 10 years ago, guys were clearly pervs and girls whores that could be bought with a bottle of vodka at the table, however we still had some sense of taste and would try to get along and make some efforts and such. I certainly had never witnessed a girl covered in her own puke hunt for men (and scoring) until last week.

Actually in the uk if you are male and a female forces you to have sex they WILL prosecute the woman. And counter accusations happen in male/female rape and female/male rape. There is not one law for females and another for males.
And you obviously go to the wrong clubs in Hanley Ren.

ren wrote:

Although we do have our local societies, such as where Ren lives, versus where I live, versus where Brenna lives...

We are becoming a world society, and therefore s 'world culture'...

Not really. If a woman forces me to have sex with her, I cannot accuse her of rape, but she can counter-accuse me of rape. That is the society I live in, and I know it's not the same everywhere else.

Similarly in the US you guys get bits of your junk cut off as babies, because a very long time ago someone had the grand idea it would prevent you from masturbating, I have not experienced this culture.

I dont know that I would call your definition a 'rape culture' Ren...

That seems like a oppressive culture, a dictatorship, but "rape"?

Rape is basically defined as "unwanted sexually acts" or "sexual acts against the will of the victim".... I didnt look that up, it is how it would be defined if you walked up to the average person and ask them if they knew what "rape" is...

While it would and does include power over the victim, that is dominance... Unless you are considering the mental abuse as 'mind rape'?

Actually it's not a dictatorship, it's a constitutional monarchy called the UK. This is what the situation for men here is. The circumcision thing is more of a US thing however, and yes, I dare say that it's an even worse type of rape than forced sex. forced sex means unwanted bodily fluids, maybe even disease... but no cutting bits off your junk.

rape is to be deprived of control over your own sexuality, I would indeed understand "mind rape" as being a loss of control over one's own mind.

You know the number of men and women that have been abused or raped IS staggering..

I went up hanley to club last week-end... Was kind of a dead night, which means people had more opportunities to talk to one another... What staggers me is that the concept of rape even still exists. Don't get me wrong, when I went out regularly 10 years ago, guys were clearly pervs and girls whores that could be bought with a bottle of vodka at the table, however we still had some sense of taste and would try to get along and make some efforts and such. I certainly had never witnessed a girl covered in her own puke hunt for men (and scoring) until last week.

Ren, I hate to get off topic, but is circumcision not common in the UK? I know I have a friend from Germany, and another from South Africa who weren't mutilated, but I didn't know about the UK.

I was circumcised, like most US males, and I'm thoroughly against it.

Well that makes things a little clearer. Having some numbers from the military puts it into perspective. As a person who has lived in the US, Russia, Indonesia, and Thailand... I've seen a few different cultures. The US was, by far, the most violent and competitive of all of them.

It seems to me that a society which encourages people to compete with one another creates all kinds of problems. I don't know if it's ever been studied as a cause of rape culture...

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steamboat28 wrote:
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Traditionally, men didn't hit women because we lived in a logical culture where men and women had different double-standards and privileges, pros and cons, and so on. Back then, men didn't hit women because women were taught not to commit offenses worthy of hitting. With the proliferation and normalization of feminism, I have no issue hitting a woman now, though I try not to hit anybody if I can help it.

Actually in the uk if you are male and a female forces you to have sex they WILL prosecute the woman.

Negative. they are only victims of sexual assault, not rape.

"Rape

(1)A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a)he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person ( with his penis,
(b)B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.
(2)Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.
(3)Sections 75 and 76 apply to an offence under this section.
(4)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for life."

that's the legal definition of rape in the UK, defined by the sexual offences act 2003.
It is very clearly sexist.

And you obviously go to the wrong clubs in Hanley Ren.

Should probably not have gone to Hanley to be fair, though this happened in Liquid, which doesn't seem too bad.

Ren, I hate to get off topic, but is circumcision not common in the UK? I know I have a friend from Germany, and another from South Africa who weren't mutilated, but I didn't know about the UK.

I was circumcised, like most US males, and I'm thoroughly against it.

male circumcision is carried out by jews, muslims and americans, that's about it.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6966989/the-real-reason-youre-circumcised

Okay I looked that up and your right, I knew that females had been prosecuted and assumed it was for rape... As the offence commited was rape. But no, so got to agree that UK law is sexist...
That is wrong, there shouldn't be one law for females and another for males.
Apologies

And liquid? Really? :blink: