Rape Culture

I've been seeing articles and posts discussing rape culture. I'm no expert on it so I decided to ask others more about it. Obviously it's a real phenomenon as evidenced by the endless reports of rape, university coverups, church coverups, executive coverups, etc. Some people are saying that men have the power to change this culture.

I grew up in a household where we didn't hurt girls and you got a severe beating if you hurt one. In school there was a similar credo. It became a double-standard and the girls caught on to it. My childhood was filled with memories of being abused by females because I was male. I witnessed laws get enacted to enforce the double-standard. If you so much as even raised a hand to your abuser you would be charged with assault and given a lengthy prison sentence. If you spoke out about the abuse you were ridiculed for being weak.

Another experience I had the "privilege" of living through was the "us vs them" mentality of post-modern women who came after the advent of feminism. I got to deal with young women who hated men and had been taught all their lives that men are dogs, scum, etc. I've had to listen to conversations by women in public describing men as worthless human beings, sub-humans, etc. I've had uncountable numbers of women use me for money, car rides, free dinners, etc.

I honestly believe this "rape culture" and the experiences I've had are related. I don't think I'm the only one to have experienced this and it's probably most men who experience this. As for me, instead of raping some woman, I forsake them. I decided not to have kids, not to marry, and not to date women. I can see how someone else might go with rape if their morals are corrupted, as is often the case with people who are abused.

In the end, I was able to find a woman who grew up removed from this culture and we've been married for 8 years with no problems. Our greatest strength is our mutual respect for one another and we both plan on staying together for the rest of our lives. Sometimes she says things like "A woman must respect her husband" and it enrages the women on my side of the family but we all know she's right.

I've also known a few women who were raped. Our relationships never lasted more than a few days so I can't really comment on their experiences but I learrned a few things.

Definition according to Wiki

"Rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape.

Examples of behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, or refusing to acknowledge the harm of certain forms of sexual violence that do not conform to certain stereotypes of stranger or violent rape."

"To a dark place this line of thought will take us" - Yoda


This is a very sensitive topic. :dry:

I used to be one of those FLY YOUR HATE RAPE FLAG kinda guys but something some one said left me feeling like a hypocrite.

Though I disapprove of rape in any case I also never stood up against arranged marriages. I never shed a tear for those that are forced to marry and then consummate the marriage against their will.

Are arranged marriages the exception to rape?

Daniel L. wrote: "To a dark place this line of thought will take us" - Yoda


This is a very sensitive topic. :dry:

I used to be one of those FLY YOUR HATE RAPE FLAG kinda guys but something some one said left me feeling like a hypocrite.

Though I disapprove of rape in any case I also never stood up against arranged marriages. I never shed a tear for those that are forced to marry and then consummate the marriage against their will.

Are arranged marriages the exception to rape?

Thats an interesting thought Master D. I would imagine that it does fit into the definition of rape if the marriage and consummation is forced. Particularly concerning if those entering into the marriage are minors.

But while a "sensitive" topic, I think its an important one. The trivialization or normalization of any kind of violence, sexual or other wise certainly does not appear to be doing any culture good.

Brenna wrote: Definition according to Wiki

"Rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape.

Examples of behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, or refusing to acknowledge the harm of certain forms of sexual violence that do not conform to certain stereotypes of stranger or violent rape."

culture of the society I live in: if you're a being forced to have sex, depending on how society classifies you you are not, under any circumstances, being raped. In fact, the victim can easily be made out to be a perpetrator as can be seen in social attitudes, the media, and law. This issue is trivialized, ignored and the harm of this sort of sexual violence is not acknowledged.

rape culture is when one part of the society controls the sexuality of the other part of that society. When natural behaviour is repressed by law, when some have control over their own and others' reproductive rights whilst these others are powerless unless they mutilate themselves, when they suffer sexual mutilations as a baby in order to prevent masturbation later on, etc.

Whyte Horse wrote: Sometimes she says things like "A woman must respect her husband" .

As well she should. Respect is an important aspect in any relationship.

Brenna wrote:

Whyte Horse wrote: Sometimes she says things like "A woman must respect her husband" .

As well she should. Respect is an important aspect in any relationship.

Indeed, mutual respect. One sided respect is no respect, in my opinion. (Edit: I mean to say, one sided respect suggests to me not enough respect for yourself, if you're not getting it in return from your partner)

Brenna wrote:

Whyte Horse wrote: Sometimes she says things like "A woman must respect her husband" .

As well she should. Respect is an important aspect in any relationship.

lol, while I know it is unsaid, since this forum IS seen by non-members of the site, and that I read this slightly wrong at first glance, the point of that last sentence by Brenna means "Respect is important aspect, by both sides, in any relationship"...

You are right, of course, just claifying for the search engines, :lol:....

Daniel wrote: This is a very sensitive topic.

Brenna wrote: But while a "sensitive" topic, I think its an important one

Yes, so please every, maximum respect in this conversation please, and take it to PM to clear up any bad feelings so that this remains civil...

Brenna wrote, that Wiki wrote: Rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape.

Ren wrote: culture of the society I live in: if you're a being forced to have sex, depending on how society classifies you you are not, under any circumstances, being raped. In fact, the victim can easily be made out to be a perpetrator as can be seen in social attitudes, the media, and law. This issue is trivialized, ignored and the harm of this sort of sexual violence is not acknowledged.

Although we do have our local societies, such as where Ren lives, versus where I live, versus where Brenna lives...

We are becoming a world society, and therefore s 'world culture'...

Again, Brenna wrote, that Wiki wrote: Definition according to Wiki

"Rape culture is a concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape.

Examples of behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, or refusing to acknowledge the harm of certain forms of sexual violence that do not conform to certain stereotypes of stranger or violent rape."]

Ren" wrote: rape culture is when one part of the society controls the sexuality of the other part of that society. When natural behaviour is repressed by law, when some have control over their own and others' reproductive rights whilst these others are powerless unless they mutilate themselves, when they suffer sexual mutilations as a baby in order to prevent masturbation later on, etc.

I dont know that I would call your definition a 'rape culture' Ren...

That seems like a oppressive culture, a dictatorship, but "rape"?

Rape is basically defined as "unwanted sexually acts" or "sexual acts against the will of the victim".... I didnt look that up, it is how it would be defined if you walked up to the average person and ask them if they knew what "rape" is...

While it would and does include power over the victim, that is dominance... Unless you are considering the mental abuse as 'mind rape'?

++++++++++++++++++++++
Both parties, men and women cheapen the act of rape....

While not only does it get downplayed by authorities, but, I dated a girl who threatened me with it... And, while the many sexual exchanges might have cleared me, just the act of being accused can destroy a life...

Young men in a gaming store I occasionally visit think that saying "Im gonna rape you" is a perfectly acceptable thing to say... It is a part of the barbaric game they are playing, a threat of dominance over the opponent...

It is my sister's store, and she threw a fit, getting the boys to stop... But her boyfriend, and co-owner, said, "Oh, its just a term they use."...

Examples abound....

I dont care whether we talk about rape, or abuse, or enlightenment, or apologetics ( ren), or what, but education is going to be the answer to it...

Just my thoughts...

Whyte Horse wrote: I've been seeing articles and posts discussing rape culture. I'm no expert on it so I decided to ask others more about it. Obviously it's a real phenomenon as evidenced by the endless reports of rape, university coverups, church coverups, executive coverups, etc. Some people are saying that men have the power to change this culture.

I grew up in a household where we didn't hurt girls and you got a severe beating if you hurt one. In school there was a similar credo. It became a double-standard and the girls caught on to it. My childhood was filled with memories of being abused by females because I was male. I witnessed laws get enacted to enforce the double-standard. If you so much as even raised a hand to your abuser you would be charged with assault and given a lengthy prison sentence. If you spoke out about the abuse you were ridiculed for being weak.

Another experience I had the "privilege" of living through was the "us vs them" mentality of post-modern women who came after the advent of feminism. I got to deal with young women who hated men and had been taught all their lives that men are dogs, scum, etc. I've had to listen to conversations by women in public describing men as worthless human beings, sub-humans, etc. I've had uncountable numbers of women use me for money, car rides, free dinners, etc.

I honestly believe this "rape culture" and the experiences I've had are related. I don't think I'm the only one to have experienced this and it's probably most men who experience this. As for me, instead of raping some woman, I forsake them. I decided not to have kids, not to marry, and not to date women. I can see how someone else might go with rape if their morals are corrupted, as is often the case with people who are abused.

In the end, I was able to find a woman who grew up removed from this culture and we've been married for 8 years with no problems. Our greatest strength is our mutual respect for one another and we both plan on staying together for the rest of our lives. Sometimes she says things like "A woman must respect her husband" and it enrages the women on my side of the family but we all know she's right.

I've also known a few women who were raped. Our relationships never lasted more than a few days so I can't really comment on their experiences but I learrned a few things.

No doubt that feminism's a bitch, no pun intended. That's why I found a girl from a culture that is the absolute antithesis of feminism.

On the subject of rape, though- here in the US, it's really like the boy crying wolf. I don't mean to be insensitive to rape victims, but the number of girls I've met claiming to have been raped or otherwise sexually exploited is staggering. Of course, I don't believe them all. Leave it to feminism to make victimhood fashionable.

You know the number of men and women that have been abused or raped IS staggering..
And the way the victims are treated by the courts, police and people in general is what makes most people anti men or anti women.
Respect for everyone, male or female should be taught to children and hitting anyone, same sex or not should be judged the same.