Ramblings of a Security Officer

But what kind Manu?

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: I'm willing to examine my previous post if you so desire. I assume you mean the one where I talk about the thread hatter locked? I don't think I ever used the word "monolithic" or "dramatic failure". These are terms you have unfairly injected into the conversation. I was simply trying to convey a personal experience that I find common among many members here. As a council member are you asking me to not talk about such things or not bring such things to attention?

Sure, let's examine that previous post.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: I'm going to be brutally honest here. This is where the council fails in a most dramatic fashion.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: it seems that when it comes time to return that favor, Ros and other members of the security team and council fail to follow through. Its the reason people do not bring complaints to the council but instead choose to handle them themselves.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: I feel the council sided unfairly with hatter to protect him and my thread was locked for 24 hours and instead of the council addressing my complaint they just stalled and let the time run out.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: The council just stalls and hedges until the issue finally gets dropped from frustration.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: This is a self perpetuating issue that is a direct result of the councils unwillingness to act in a decisive manner.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: Sweeping issues under the rug solves nothing but its the council normal mode of operation.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: I think the council is more to blame for the state of this temple than the membership has ever been.

---

That's a single post, following which your very next assertion was how you aren't attacking "the council." No, you didn't use the term monolithic, but you imply it in every sentence. "Fails in a most dramatic fashion" is, however, a direct quote.

Kyrin, you want to accuse us of not acting decisively when you really have no clue just how much decisive action costs. That is, in my opinion, a clear indicator of your lack of empathy. You really cannot see how much pain you cause with statements like those. You can dress it up all you like, say you are trying to be constructive and make us better, whatever your reasoning. But you hurt people. You tear them down, and you break their spirits, because you don't seem to understand how much effort it takes to engage with you on your terms.

Everything I do here is based on compassion and empathy, but then I have to make decisions and take actions in accordance with my best judgment, and I am always mindful that as a Knight and a Councillor and a member of the Clergy I have a special responsibility for the quality of the experience that *everyone* has when they come here. Today I've reached the point where the kindest thing I can do for you is to point out that you're not reciprocating, and that you really haven't the support where it counts to continue doing so for much longer. Take that as you will, and adapt or not as you choose. But we will have peace and respect in our home.

Atticus wrote:
Sure, let's examine that previous post.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: I'm going to be brutally honest here. This is where the council fails in a most dramatic fashion.

Ah, you’re absolutely correct. I did use that term. I had not considered that in context but yes I did and I apologize.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: it seems that when it comes time to return that favor, Ros and other members of the security team and council fail to follow through. Its the reason people do not bring complaints to the council but instead choose to handle them themselves.

My experience is that follow through is not done. So I see nothing wrong here. Now my perception of follow through may be different than others or it may be that follow through is perceived to be done but it’s not verified so people get muddled on things or maybe things that happen in council never make it to the end user. I don’t know, but for some reason there is confusion on this. What do you think might be causing this?

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: I feel the council sided unfairly with hatter to protect him and my thread was locked for 24 hours and instead of the council addressing my complaint they just stalled and let the time run out.

My perception of this is valid. All I wanted was a decision and that does not mean I demanded a decision in my favor, just a decision. Either tell me that locking was unfair and open it or tell me the locking was fair and it stays. I will accepts either answer. The problem is that I got no answer either way. In fact John is the only one that has ever done this. Things have happened in the past and hes told me I was wrong and the decision made will remain and I have no choice but to accept it move on. I hold no ill will for a decision made against me but resentment results in not providing a decision at all. How should we handle this perception in the future in your opinion?

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: The council just stalls and hedges until the issue finally gets dropped from frustration.

Below is a direct quote from my conversation with Ros. I sent her my reply to post in council and even tried to follow up with others to see if it was posted. I received no reply at all from anyone. How would you perceive this if you had been sent this reply and then no follow up was done? Am I asking too much or assuming too much in expecting further conversation here? idk maybe I am. If I am let me know and I will drop it.

"ros” wrote: I want to have a conversation with you and I would love to hear your thoughts. I will also bring them into Council for discussion if you'll let me. If not, this can be a conversation just between you and me and will not go elsewhere.

Very Respectfully,
-Ros

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: This is a self perpetuating issue that is a direct result of the councils unwillingness to act in a decisive manner.

See above on this one. I just want a decision and then a follow up to make sure Im satisfied. Once again I don’t want a decision in my favor, just a decision. At that point its my choice to either be butt hurt or not and that’s on me. When it came to this issue if I would have gotten a PM that said the thread will remain locked I would have gone, “well ok, now I know. Lets move on”. The next day if a follow up would have been done I would have said things are good but I think hatter was out of line in his PM comments. I would have gotten a reply that says he’s sorry or he’s not sorry and then the issue would be closed. Do you think there is room for improvement in this process or do you think I am expecting too much? If I am expecting too much just let me know and the issue is done.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: Sweeping issues under the rug solves nothing but its the council normal mode of operation.

See above.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: I think the council is more to blame for the state of this temple than the membership has ever been.

I will take the hit for this. This was out of line. I apologize for this comment.

Beyond the first comment and the last comments that I agree were a bit rough and out of line I see no reason to change anything else I said. I’m sorry that these things hurt you. That was not my intent. I just want a conversation and I want to help and I want some resolution to questions I have had for years. If these things are not going to be addressed or worked on improving and you don’t want my suggestions just tell me. I can take it. I have no problem letting this place continue on in the manner to which it has become accustomed.

Atticus wrote: Today I've reached the point where the kindest thing I can do for you is to point out that you're not reciprocating, and that you really haven't the support where it counts to continue doing so for much longer. Take that as you will, and adapt or not as you choose. But we will have peace and respect in our home.

Actually I take this as a threat. Are you implying that “our home” is not my home? Am I not welcome? Once again, just let me know.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: Are you implying that “our home” is not my home? Am I not welcome? Once again, just let me know.

No, that'll be you letting us know. As I alluded to earlier, you can cite to your intent and justifications to your heart's content, but like everyone else here you're evaluated on the behavior you exhibit and its effect on others.

Atticus wrote:

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: Are you implying that “our home” is not my home? Am I not welcome? Once again, just let me know.

No, that'll be you letting us know. As I alluded to earlier, you can cite to your intent and justifications to your heart's content, but like everyone else here you're evaluated on the behavior you exhibit and its effect on others.

Well then I would appreciate it if you would be forthright for once and just let me know if I am wasting my time here or not? Can you at least do that?

Reading all this, I want you to see that the choice is yours Kyrin - to stay or go. To self-identify as Jedi or not. You encourage us all to think; but that doesn't mean we're all going to agree. If you find this place doesn't fit; nobody's blocking the door. But if you like it here, then do please, choose to stay. And that means putting up with other people being who they are (i.e. the council leading in the way the council leads). It's cool to speak out. But don't be handing other people choices that are yours. You choose if you're wasting your time or not. Your call.

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote:

Atticus wrote:

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: Are you implying that “our home” is not my home? Am I not welcome? Once again, just let me know.

No, that'll be you letting us know. As I alluded to earlier, you can cite to your intent and justifications to your heart's content, but like everyone else here you're evaluated on the behavior you exhibit and its effect on others.

Well then I would appreciate it if you would be forthright for once and just let me know if I am wasting my time here or not? Can you at least do that?

I thought I was being forthright. As to whether you're wasting your time here, I wouldn't be able to make that judgment for you. What do you feel would be a waste of your time? If you're referring to time spent cultivating empathy and respect as I've called for, then it would be hard for me to ever call that a waste of time. Unless you've already determined that to be a cause you'd rather not take up. But again, that's your judgment, not mine.

Atticus wrote: Everything I do here is based on compassion and empathy,...

...I've reached the point where the kindest thing I can do for you is to point out that you're not reciprocating...

It seems that a double standard exists in your application of compassion. Do you think you have not hurt me today with your words? If you don't you are wrong. I thought we were friends and I expect you to treat me like a friend but you have not done that today. You had a problem with me and you made it known but when I tried to engage you, you got hostile and continued to ignore me and then proceed to threaten me. That hurts.

Atticus wrote: you really haven't the support where it counts to continue doing so for much longer. Take that as you will, and adapt or not as you choose. But we will have peace and respect in our home.

This is a threat that leaves me only 1 option. Either stop talking about the council or some covert group you have assembled will make sure I get banned or denied promotion or whatever you have planned. This is not a decision I have the free will to make. I either comply or there are consequences. So no the decision is not mine to freely make. It is a decision you are trying to coerce me to make in a manner you desire in order to control me.

I have tried several times to day to engage you in honest conversation about this and you refuse. So I suppose there is little left to say except that until a rule is put in place that says the membership is not allowed to talk about the council I will continue to talk about issues as I see fit regardless of your demands. I don't need you or any one else to validate who I am and I sure don't need others dictating what I should believe. If this results in my banning then so be it. I will be banned. And I will have my integrity and you will have your peaceful authoritarian regime where rules are more important than free speech.

Kyrin, I don't know what part of this conversation has not been honest in your opinion. Perhaps we have a divergence in how we see the questions raised by the OP. This is not Steve and Rick creating an authoritarian little regime where dissent is silenced. I have invited you in the past to hold me publicly accountable for my decisions and actions. and I renew that invitation today as I extend you the same consideration. But that aside, there is an expected standard of behavior here. Smarter and wiser people than me have been working to codify a Pax Templi so it's more clear and explicit, but it's really simple. Be kind. Don't tear people down.

I may well have made you feel attacked today, and I can understand how that might seem unkind. I've tried to confine myself to relating how I view your behavior rather than how I judge you, and I may not have done a perfect job. It's not much easier for me to say these things than it would be to hear them. Because I am in your corner. I have never not been Team Kyrin. You're tied for first place in the list of people whose spiritual well-being matters very much to me, but it's a tie spot with a fair few names on it.

I am sorry my words hurt you. Real talk, I can't be sorry for saying them, but I hope you believe that I have no desire to cause needless pain for you or anyone.

One was bathed in nutella and the other chocolate glazed with a gooey blackberry jam filling.

Kyrin, so, you are all about the learning through conflict. And now you feel hurt? I'm confused.