Adult Material

I first read it in a book of Native American Wisdom, but it can be found with an internet search easily.

This story has become my way of defining the Force in regards to the Light Side vs the Dark Side. The Force is not Light or Dark, it is the fight within ourselves that lead us to a path of good or bad. If we give in to the anger , fear and hate, we give into (feed) our Dark Side Wolf.

I'm about to go into some stuff that is probably not suitable for all...


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rugadd wrote: I'm putting this here because I already have a good idea how it would go over in the Jediism section.

I need a little more than a "it's your choice. What do YOU believe?" kind of answer.

Hi Rugadd Long time no see. You got alot of run in/vauge/chaotic questions so Let me try to answer to the best of my ability.

Specifically, I'm looking for insight into adult material: Viewing habits concerning videos, pictures, performances, graphic arts, comics etc.

It really depends on what your intent and purpose is for viewing the material. Education? Watching, observing and even participating in Adult Material is an excellent way to practice your own style, technique and to learn your own comfort zones. How far is too far? And how best to please your forever mate without looking like a half starved virgin losing self control the first three minuets in lol For the purpose of education I feel it should be more encouraged in society. It teaches us about our bodies, about our mental limitations and our spiritual desires.

For fun and/or pleasure - Again I do not see any problem with this. To me, stagnation and putting a dam on your desires is a dangerous and detrimental thing. As humans, we are sexual in nature. By giving up and/or denying our basic desires, we give up and deny ourselves. This can cause alot of harm and damage not only in your relationship but in your mental, physical and even spiritual body.

Think of your Inner and External force energies as a river, this river is driven and replenished by our actions and daily motions. "Movement = Energy" This includes our sexual side just as much as it does every other part of us. If your sexual desires is sitting stagnate and stale, it will inevitably erupt and explode, causing harm.

Is abstinence willful ignorance?

Yes.

At what point is to it too much?

At the point when you make commitment and promise to not do so in order to please your other half sensibility. (I would question the health of said relationship however) If your other half said "Don't watch porn" and you say "Yes of course dear" then you have boxed yourself up and put a pretty little bow on top.

Can it be too little?

yes....

Can it be separated from physical needs and truly viewed as an art form?

Oh yes. Yes, yes a thousand times yes....

What about "play time" with ones own body?

As one of my favorite Erotica books say "This too...Is sacred." Yes. Oh yes...

Is it in aid for a need or a drug for the addicted?

It is neither. It is natural human instinct.

Does this material create unrealistic expectations?

It certainly can. What sort of Porn are you exposing yourself too?

Does this material distance a person from real intimacy?

If anything it enhances it...

Can it fulfill the physical need and thus remove an essential aspect of our interaction with others?

It is a physical and sometimes even spiritual need. But it is apart of the toy box you might say...not a division. At least for me.

Does it harm women? Does it harm men?

It certainly can. This is dependent on the situation and individual

Can it be uplifting?

Oh yes.

rugadd wrote: Specifically, I'm looking for insight into adult material: Viewing habits concerning videos, pictures, performances, graphic arts, comics etc.

If you're not an addict and it isn't harming any of your relationships, then there's no issue with it. I know far too many marriages that have been saved via judicious application of pornography or buying husbands lap dances for their birthdays to say it's a bad thing.

I believe this is also circumstancial as well. Kitsu Tails makes it sound like a wonderous and great thing and abstinence is ignorance. I, on the other hand, believe it depends on your relationship, intent and circumstances.

As I have previously posted in my journal an instance that involves my romantic relationship with my wife, I am of the belief that porn is a good thing. When my wife and I do make love, we like to watch it before hand just to spice things up. On the other hand, due to my addiction to sex and the fact I was allowing it to over rule my judgements and attitude. I felt that sex was the only way that my wife could show me she loved me and I was completely wrong. I have chosen to be abstinent until which time my wife wants to make love and then continue the abstinence in between these times. I would pleasure myself on a daily basis, watch porn and look at women like sexual objects, since I have realized this is a problem, I have put myself on the path of correcting said problem.

I believe that pushing myself to the opposite end of where I am will essencially bring balance. I must cure what the ailment is before I can come back into balance. Again, this is just me and my views. Sex is not everything in a relationship. Actually, it is something beautiful to be shared with your partner/spouse, but not a have to have. It's not required to make a strong relationship.

Silvermane wrote: it is something beautiful to be shared with your partner/spouse, but not a have to have. It's not required to make a strong relationship.

But this is also entirely subjective and depends on the individual.

Brenna wrote: But this is also entirely subjective and depends on the individual.

That is totally true, Brenna. It all depends on the individual. Who are we to say what couples should and should not do without knowing everything about them and regardless if we did, it is not our business. It is the choice of the individual, plain and simple.

I guess there is the stimulation phase and the climactic phase from viewing adult content and I think the climactic phase serves as a conditioner to how the brains reward system works, so that the stimulation phase becomes conditioned as a precursor to the 'reward' of the climactic phase - creating the addictive properties of things like porn.

That could tell us that the opportunity exists to reprogram the addictive nature of porn, by associating some other type of reward to the already programmed 'conditioner' ie; avoiding the climactic phase and replacing it with something else.

Let's face it, its our natural instinct to procreate... so it would seem a fair thing to consider using our own natural capacities for useful purposes, but if not done mindfully it's opening us up to becoming enslaved to whatever processes are at work behind the scenes.

So thinking about its addictive properties, if the stimulation phase of porn is acting as a predictor to a reward of climax, then it could explain why things like violence and dominance appear so strongly in a some porn these days - the violent porn becomes (seemingly) more likely to achieve the reward because control is so clearly demonstrated to that end. Basically the dominance/violence/control reinforcing the predictive nature of the stimulation phase (its positive valence).

This would seem, IMO, to create a segment of porn which dehumanizes one party (women in mainstream/normal porn) not as a distinct type of sexual peculiarity, but rather a different type of porn for people who have elevated the 'experience' of viewing the porn above the actual activity of the porn - basically turning porn into a drug for 'getting off', rather then perhaps what porn is perhaps better used for, like an art form for sex. It's why I think mindfulness is the difference between being a master of something, and a slave of something.

Adder wrote: This would seem, IMO, to create a segment of porn which dehumanizes one party (women in mainstream/normal porn)...

I have a great many thoughts on this, mostly far too much to share here, but there are two kinds of "dehumanizing" porn:

1. Porn in which the dehumanizing effect is a product of a society which demeans women
2. Porn which is intentionally dehumanizing to serve a fetish (shared by many men and women)

I think the latter is perfectly ok--maybe not for everyone, but some folks like it, and it's perfectly healthy for them--but the former is something that needs to be harshly dealt with. It's one thing to belittle and dehumanize someone as part of a role, but the former category tends to extend that toward the actress as well, and that's when it goes from kink to stink.

Porn in which the dehumanizing effect is a product of a society which demeans women

I hear this line all the time and all I can say is it's a load of nonsense. Porn is more dehumanizing of men. Women are the stars in lesbian and heterosexual porn. Men only in gay porn. Gay porn is exactly like heterosexual porn (in terms of scenes and filming style) with one difference: in gay porn you see the men, not just their penis. Heterosexual male actors have homosexual fanbases and appear in homosexual magazines. Very very few male actors have female fanbases, and we're talking about ron jeremy, john holmes, and rocco siffredi, no more... Guess why these guys are famous...