Discussion: TotJO Culture Problems

OB1Shinobi wrote:
No no you misunderstand me, im being totally cerial. Its not like anyone here is over protective or over sensetive or prone to negative interpretations of other peoples words or motives. I mean really, totjo is probably the calmest, most placid and articulate group of people on the internet. No one here ever loses their temper in a way that could get them in trouble and NO ONE here could ever benefit from being told they are wrong.

So, are we overly sensitive or too thicked skin?

Manu wrote:

OB1Shinobi wrote:
No no you misunderstand me, im being totally cerial. Its not like anyone here is over protective or over sensetive or prone to negative interpretations of other peoples words or motives. I mean really, totjo is probably the calmest, most placid and articulate group of people on the internet. No one here ever loses their temper in a way that could get them in trouble and NO ONE here could ever benefit from being told they are wrong.

So, are we overly sensitive or too thicked skin?

I have a thick streak of sensitivity?
For instance, i didnt realize i misspelled "sensitive" until i read your post that quoted me. Now im going to burn myself with a cigarette for being such a failure

OB1Shinobi wrote:

Manu wrote:

OB1Shinobi wrote:
No no you misunderstand me, im being totally cerial. Its not like anyone here is over protective or over sensetive or prone to negative interpretations of other peoples words or motives. I mean really, totjo is probably the calmest, most placid and articulate group of people on the internet. No one here ever loses their temper in a way that could get them in trouble and NO ONE here could ever benefit from being told they are wrong.

So, are we overly sensitive or too thicked skin?

I have a thick streak of sensitivity?
For instance, i didnt realize i misspelled "sensitive" until i read your post that quoted me. Now im going to burn myself with a cigarette for being such a failure

Then I cannot even imagine what you would do to yourself for "cerial".

You ok Ob1? I do admit I am more thick-skulled than thick-skinned.

Manu wrote: Then I cannot even imagine what you would do to yourself for "cerial".

OMGomgOMGDrinksbleach!!

I think ive said enough. This was a great discussion before i entered it. I dont want to detract from that or derail it (further).... i only wanted to point out that IN MY OPINION we need to remember that whie it is important for us to have basic stadards of civility, it also would be....regressive to create an environment of padded walls and kid gloves, with rules and punishments intentionally designed to force "those other people" to moderate their emotional reactions, so as to protect us from ever having to grow up and learn how to regulate our own.

OB1Shinobi wrote:

Manu wrote: Then I cannot even imagine what you would do to yourself for "cerial".

OMGomgOMGDrinksbleach!

Put the bleach aside, have one of these instead:

Tea perhaps ?!

OB1Shinobi wrote: I only wanted to point out that IN MY OPINION we need to remember that whie it is important for us to have basic stadards of civility, it also would be....regressive to create an environment of padded walls and kid gloves, with rules and punishments intentionally designed to force "those other people" to moderate their emotional reactions, so as to protect us from ever having to grow up and learn how to regulate our own.

I agree with you 100% that trying to artificially insulate people from having to deal with their emotions is not the direction we want to go. I do see great value, however, in raising the bar as to how we learn to communicate with others in more effective ways.

In the real world, in one-to-one interactions, foul language and bluntness can be a huge ally at times, but knowing when to use this method, and knowing how to use more articulate, diplomatic responses in public settings especially (where brute emotional force will only get you so far), is priceless. If we learn to use all tools available, we will be in a much better place to deal with all types of communications coming our way.

We tend to over-demonize foul language and emotional appeals. But the "powers-that-be" have much more subtle ways of trying to control us. We need to use to speak their language as well, in order to identify when we are being targeted.

Well i WAS on my way out lol but i consider it fair to reply if im directly quoted or addressed.

Manu wrote: I agree with you 100% that trying to artificially insulate people from having to deal with their emotions is not the direction we want to go. I do see great value, however, in raising the bar as to how we learn to communicate with others in more effective ways.

Yes, im with you. But I think that "raising the bar" is more about teaching people new skills and allowing them the freedom to succeed or to fail than it is about censoring and banning into obscurity those who dont display the skills. Theres a difference between on the one hand, really learning (by experience) the importance and value of different communication styles vs merely deleting any contribution that doesnt live up to some authority figure's interpretation of the standard such skills imply.

have to be careful here because i dont want it to seem like im arguing for some kind of wild west, laws of the jungle community policy. Im not. I love the idea of having some guidelines and expectations spelled out and available for all to read and reference.... im just concerned with the potential for such measures to produce a overly sterilized environment, where placidity is enforced at the expense of authenticity.

We have rules about language. We have rules about critiquing ideas, not people. We have punishments relating to the infraction of rules.
Ive not been around as much lately as i used to be, and ive missed a lot of the (apparently volatile) discussions which are being referenced in this topic. My most recent personal experience indicates that the rules are already pretty tight in regards to enforcing courtesy and that the people who enforce them are plenty quick to do just that (thats not a criticism). As long as Ive been here, there have always been those seeking a to make totjo into a "safe space" where the rules create a culture that prioritizes safety from offense as the highest social value.... which i believe to be ultimately debilitating ESPECIALLY TO THE SENSITIVE PEOPLE ITS MEANT TO PROTECT. And so i am voicing my own concerns while the opportunity is here.

When we speak to people irl, we communicate with with more than words. We use body language and posture also.
When we write something. If we put a punctuation mark in the wrong place, it can change the meaning of the sentence.
So I would if I was to upset or offend someone.
Give me the chance to apologize or explain what was meant, even both.
People with the quickest temper, are usually the people the calm down quickly.
It's only venting. It's better than keeping everything bottled up inside. Leaving it to fester.

One can fail at a task, but still learn a lesson. -. Luminara Unduli

OB1Shinobi wrote: it also would be....regressive to create an environment of padded walls and kid gloves, with rules and punishments intentionally designed to force "those other people" to moderate their emotional reactions, so as to protect us from ever having to grow up and learn how to regulate our own.

Well, something has to do it, because apparently training and doctrine isn't working.

I don't know if I agree with the punishment aspect, but something definitely has to change here. We need to start holding each other to higher standards than we have if we want to progress along anything resembling a communal experience. While everyone's Jedi path is unique and individual, there is also the aspect of community in the Jedi path that is nearly universal--we need others who understand, and others need us. Along those lines, we are failing right now, missing the fact that progression along such a communal path also enhances our own.