How important is sex?

I realized I did not answer the subject heading question, but only the message question. I do not think sex is required, but it seems to be a rather integral aspect of our physical body and that makes me wonder on the spiritual possibilities from good sex. I'd venture the male body does seem to be hard wired in such a way that it can become much more fixated on sexuality then perhaps the female body... courtesy of having approx. 7 or even 20 times more of it floating around at any one time since puberty.

V-Tog wrote: Also, an interesting thought - I presume that it isn't just me who has sex pop up in their dreams occasionally? Or perhaps it is just me :blush: I find that quite interesting, seeing as I don't feel as though I miss or particularly want sex...but my sleeping subconscious self seems to think that it's more important than my waking self does. Anyone else find that or is it just me? :laugh:

I think it would depend on what happened in the dream.... ? :lol: Just kidding, dont answer!!! :pinch:

ren wrote: Please tell us more about those dreams Victoria. And give us details. I hear god is in them

Just logged into the TOTJO skype chat and noticed the following:

"Ren: everybody go on the sex thread and ask Victoria for details :laugh: "

Anyway, Adder seems to agree that there's a possibility other people might find sex cropping up in dreams I somehow would imagine that it must be quite normal. And I said occasionally, here meaning extremely infrequently...not like every night! I'm not having some wildly exciting sex life in my dreams :laugh:

How important is sex? I guess that would depend on where you are in your life and what you put value to.

The act of sex has many different meanings for many people and these meanings change throughout the individual’s life. I can’t tell you how you perceive the act or what you should take from it because I am not you. And, there are psychological evaluations and opinions on the topic which range widely and make nailing down a particular set of values which would encompass all and all situations seemingly impossible. So, on that note I will give you a brief look into my life and how it has affected me.

When I was younger (for those that don’t know, I am a guy) sex was a defining element in my life. You just weren’t a real guy if you weren’t able to get it on a regular basis. And you were almost measured by how many women “wanted” to sleep with you and how many came back for “seconds.” But for me personally there was little emotional attachment in the act. And then I made love one time, or had love made to me, and my perception changed. At that point sex became personally important to me as it was one of the defining measures in my relationship. (I know, that’s sad, but it’s just how it was.)

At some point, things changed in me and sex all together just lost some of its importance. Perhaps I got older or perhaps my testosterone levels dropped… I couldn’t tell you! But I didn’t see women as a conquest; and, I didn’t have to have sex to validate love.

The point in my life, where I am right now, I can have sex or I don’t… it just doesn’t really matter. Don’t get me wrong, sex is a great thing that can be fun and when it is done with someone you love it can be an expression of one’s passion for the other and it can spur a deeper connection. It can be a game or an art or release or a creation of unity or just not at all.

I think a better way to ask the question is… “How important is sex to you, and why?”

I think that sex is the key to reproduction and it kind of an exercise when you think of people can lose a piece of cake during sex almost in a half hour.

I think it's important. Sex is an integral part of an overall healthy relationship. I'm going off of memory here, but I've heard there are 4 legs to the chair of a healthy relationship:

Commitment
Intimacy
Passion
Love

Can a lack of sex change people? I think so.

If you are enjoying a healthy relationship that includes sex, and then

---

STOP! Completely. Cold Turkey. I think it's natural to have a little bit of withdrawal from that. Doesn't make you a bad person...just makes you human.

MTFBWY,
LTK

Anything that you try and enjoy, you will want to do again. In this respect having sex is no more a universally nessecarry path for an individual than anything else, even taking heroin! I mean, we're both human beaings, right? I have a human body in the same way as you, so why would it be so interesting for me to want to touch it in that way? For me sex is still rather abstract in that sense.

Allthough, true love is acctually rather subtle, it depends on a very subtle form of affection, NOT emotional attachment. It is this subtle form of affection that allows me to view you as more important that me. Any act that invovles bodily contact other than this is a little less meaningfull, to put it mildly.

Don't feel I can add much, thanks for all your honest responses!

'How important is sex?' Tom asked, leaning over Jack's shoulder, 'Why're you answering this if you're probably the only virgin in the room?'

Jack jolted up and glared at Tom. Which then quickly devolved into a look of horror.

"Wait..." She glanced over at Lu, whom was scratching behind her ear with a hind leg, to James and Akitaro, either squabbling or whispering sweet nothings with a great deal of snarling thrown in, to the CMC, to Kendalina, to... Haid, in all her sweet, simple innocence, "...the ONLY one?"

Tom surveyed his fellow characters -- all being figments of their Author's imagination -- then also frowned.

'Yeah. Even WE'VE had sex, before you have...' He realized. Then wondered, in a metaphysical way, if perhaps the reason their Author loved to write steamy porn so much was related to this, somehow.

'So, by that logic, she can't really weigh in on a conversation about how important it is to a relationship...' James concluded.

'Ano... maybe she could have a different point of view...' Taro pointed out. Jack continued to stare, baffled how she hadn't realized that, yes, she'd given each of her characters better developed sexualities than herself.

'That's like saying maybe a homeless person might have some fresh advice on how to negotiate a home mortgage.' Akitaro argued back. Taro stammered, unable to refute that.

"Hey! I can say that I've had relationships without the sex -- that's a good sign that it's not necessary to have a sex life in order to maintain a relationship." Jack finally found her voice, at which point Kendalina pointedly reminded her,

'Yeah, but all your girlfriends dropped you because they liked men. Not saying it's a given, but I'll bet you the two are linked.' Jack considered this, then drooped, 'Cheer up! You still have us!'

'So... the lesson is that sex IS important and without it a relationship will fail?' Asked Ken, in that deliberately baiting 'I-know-that's-not-what-you-mean-and-I'm-just-rewording-it-like-that-to-irritate-you' voice, 'And I don't have a sex life, if it makes you feel better, Miss Author!'

'You're twelve, boy -- It'd be creepy if you did.' Kendalina snapped back at her son.

'Perhaps it is not the sex, but the trust and intimacy needed FOR sex that are important. And sex is more of a way of testing -- suppose a couple has sex, and it is bad. This may indicate there is a lack of trust or intimacy between them.' Triclops pointed out.

'And it's a way to test if they feel good with each other.' Kakeru pointed out. Jack sent him a sour look. Even HE knew? 'But maybe that's because if you and yer partner trust and care about each other, it causes pleasure... ooh... brain ninja idea!'

"Okay... so... voting time: Is sex necessary for a healthy relationship?" Jack asked. Half her characters raised their hands for 'yes', "...Or not?" The other half raised their hands.

Well... great. That was no help whatsoever.

'You need to get out more, girly.' Kendalina told her, shaking her head, sadly.

Humans are one of several species that use sex as a means of strengthening bonds...we also use it as a means of exerting control and expressing dominance....when it occurrs in dreams it often signifies either a feeling of weakness or of power, depending upon the role you play during....are you being submissive? If so then there is usually a sense of weakness or a feeling of a lack of control over a situation that your subconscious is trying to point out....if your're being dominant than there is a sense of power or control that is trying to be expressed....at least that's what sigmund fraud...I mean freud would say....of course you could just be a wee bit pervy and not know it...society being as sexually repressed as it is

How important is sex?...that varies per individual....for me it's been of little to no concern mostly...(it's been years since I was naughty little monkey)...