How important is sex?

ren wrote: For me it's hugely important. I go bonkers when I don't have any. And by that I mean "mean" and violent. Like a woman on the rag but ten times worse.

On one hand, there's a lot of flowery, poetic idealisations, on the other there is just a clear-cut view on the subject --

-- and then there's ren.

That's just foul (and also brutally honest).

Why go on about love and spirituality when these are things we can do without any kind of sex (which is rather bestial, honestly).

in answer to the original question, pretty dang important, on a few different levels.

There is a quickly for those who don't have much time and those who are not very atrracted to their partner. Paper bags are really cheap to invest in, for the later.

Then there's I just wanna bang a sexy beast peeps, obviously many have looked at me thought WHAT A SEXY BEAST....

Then there's the unity of entwinning not only your heart but your spiritual entity within this wonderful concept... with this in mind mitimacy is VERY IMPORTANT...

I don't get enough to form an unbiased opinion!

As a demisexual sexual attraction doesn't occur until there's already a strong emotional bond. Due to this, sex is an expression of connection and closeness for me. Its an important expression of love in my experience, however, lack of it has only ever bothered me when it was actively withheld, rather than simply not available.

Red Lila wrote: As a demisexual sexual attraction doesn't occur until there's already a strong emotional bond. Due to this, sex is an expression of connection and closeness for me. Its an important expression of love in my experience, however, lack of it has only ever bothered me when it was actively withheld, rather than simply not available.

uh huh...

Reliah wrote: I think my opinion won't be a popular one at all based on the answers already given, but here it goes anyway..
I think that sex is part of a relationship that people get hung up or stuck in. I'm talking about the very frequent, long lasting type of sex. I know no one who agrees with me on this, either.
Here's a better example: when you first meet someone just holding their hand is intense, it moves on to kisses, making out, saying "I love you", doing everything but sex and enjoying the intense feelings you have for each other, and then sex - and when you first start having it, you're probably having a lot of it and then some people get upset when that slows down.
I think the slowing down is a progression of a relationship. I think people get too caught up in "how it used to be" and forget that things have been changing since the beginning.
I don't think sex is important. I think there are other things far better, more fulfilling, and much more meaningful.

Well you'll be glad to know that you have found at least one person who agrees with you :laugh:

I haven't had sex since my last relationship ended 6 months ago. I don't miss it. In fact, life seems a lot less hassle without it...

I don't know whether it is different for men and for women, or whether that's a myth perpetuated by men :laugh: I guess none of us could ever truly know unless we could swap bodies with someone of the other gender for a bit. But I think that within relationships, sex is overrated. It's almost like we are made to think that it is important by having the pressure of thinking that everyone else has sex all the time and that therefore if we don't there's something wrong. So if people didn't have sex so often in the first place, perhaps it wouldn't be so important. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that? Perhaps.

There's no denying that it is a biological urge, because it clearly is for all animals. But humans are not normal animals. We have highly developed brains. In general terms, we have come a long way from living according to basic biological urges. Yes, we have to eat and drink. But without doing those things we would die. We wont die if we abstain from regular sex. If someone is having plenty of sex and then suddenly is forced to stop for whatever reason (breakup, travelling, etc) and finds that they can't cope without it, that sounds to me like an addiction. And addictions are nothing to be ashamed of. It is perfectly natural to be addicted to sources of pleasure.

I guess that my answer is that I think that sex shouldn't be important, but sometimes it is. It depends on the person and their current situation. I don't think that we should want to be dependant on anything other than the things that we absolutely need in order to stay alive, so it worries me when people set out with an aim of having lots of sex. It seems to me to show that their life is unfulfilling in some other areas. But that's just me, and I can only speak from my personal experience. I don't want to offend anyone!

Also, an interesting thought - I presume that it isn't just me who has sex pop up in their dreams occasionally? Or perhaps it is just me :blush: I find that quite interesting, seeing as I don't feel as though I miss or particularly want sex...but my sleeping subconscious self seems to think that it's more important than my waking self does. Anyone else find that or is it just me? :laugh:

Nope, its just you, tog.

Please tell us more about those dreams Victoria. And give us details. I hear god is in them