Toxic positivity

06 Feb 2020 04:33 #349496 by Manu
Toxic positivity was created by Manu
Can positivity be a form of escapism?

The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
The realist adjusts the sails.
- William Arthur Ward
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06 Feb 2020 05:28 #349507 by Malicious
Replied by Malicious on topic Toxic positivity
In a way yes , but some people are genuinely nice and can't help it . For me the cup is neither half empty or half full just half . I try to be relaxed . But as they say : hope for the best and plan for the worse .

=_= Malicious (+_+)

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06 Feb 2020 06:34 #349516 by CaesarEJW
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06 Feb 2020 07:06 #349528 by Rex
Replied by Rex on topic Toxic positivity
So I agree with the point that "only good vibes" is a steamy dumpster fire, but not for the same reason. In my experience, those who say that stupid phrase and live the "positive" lifestyle tend to be privileged enough to escape the issues that often put me in a bad mood.

Similarly, one of the best emotional health tips I ever heard came from Tom Haverford who said people don't want you to fix all their problems, they want you to say 'that sucks.'

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06 Feb 2020 09:37 #349534 by Erinis
Replied by Erinis on topic Toxic positivity
That's the one of the problems of nowadays society. People are trying to be positive all the time, to everybody, but It's usually, as you said just distraction and attempt to run away of their problems.
Personally I am careful about people who are focused just one way, it evokes within me some sort of concern. And for some time will be this positivity turned into some sort of emotional explosion as the response of ignored feelings of unwanted emotions.

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07 Feb 2020 10:29 - 07 Feb 2020 10:30 #349587 by Adder
Replied by Adder on topic Toxic positivity
In oneself.. if it promotes bad outcomes. In others, none of my business unless they seem to not realize if its causing them bad outcomes. for then I might be able to help. If there positivity is annoying me, then that's my issue not theirs.

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Last edit: 07 Feb 2020 10:30 by Adder.
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06 Mar 2020 21:07 #350233 by ZealotX
Replied by ZealotX on topic Toxic positivity
sometimes being positive amounts to how much you know. As they say, ignorance is bliss.

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08 Mar 2020 23:49 #350295 by Proteus
Replied by Proteus on topic Toxic positivity
This is a bit vague a topic and the responses here, while not unreasonable, also a bit generalized. Sometimes, what looks to be "all positive" isn't always necessarily someone in denial with a repressed and swelling shadow, though it does happen. There are also times when the person is able to be positive as often as they are because they know how to keep their shadow vented constructively, thus very little build up happens. Both examples indeed have their moments of doubt believe it or not. The important thing is to know the context around any individual and/or moment(s) with them.

“For it is easy to criticize and break down the spirit of others, but to know yourself takes a lifetime.”
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09 Mar 2020 13:13 #350309 by Alexandre Orion
Replied by Alexandre Orion on topic Toxic positivity

And that grisly, messy, sloppy 'human condition' can be painful, cunning, desirous, greedy … the list is inexhaustible. We learn to consider our Ideals as Ideals – not as reliable realities we can make happen ; reality can only approach – or recede – from what the Ideal was. But then, Ideals can be flexible … One gets no where by focussing on the positive to the exclusion of the negative – they are one of a piece. Positivist psychology is even a bit dangerous because it tends to feed fantasies that engender even worse states of depression when those fantasies eventually turn out to be just that – fantasies. Every advantage has its incumbent disadvantage, every wave its crest but also its trough. To attempt to have one without the other is to not accept reality. And that non-acceptance of what feels utterly painful is the guarantee that one will never experience Joy either. So, focussing on the positive is the same as the rejection of the positive. And one can't be “bothered” - in the distorted image of the 'Master' – is the rejection of the Mastery so sought-after. Naturally, this is not an injunction to be all dismal and focus on the negative, for that would be the same thing : rejection of the negative to focus on the negative – making the negative just as silly as the Ideal that doesn't turn out.

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09 Mar 2020 16:48 #350314 by Carlos.Martinez3
Replied by Carlos.Martinez3 on topic Toxic positivity
This is from my own life

There are toxic people around. I used to be one. Cultivation is a word I use here often. Any one can cultivate almost anything. At one time my faith was toxic to me. (Not Jediism)
At me time - dancing was toxic to me.
At one time - my own love was toxic and I was giving a thick toxic sludge no one would have wanted.
I remember when ONE person was toxic in my life. Oh , I knew . That was the worst for me. After a while as a human - I knew I was being toxic or who they were in my life.
Toxicity comes in any form I am sure of. It has for me.
What changed me was the ability to NOT be the “Ruiner of days” or the toxic tether that exist. To do exactly the opposite.
I like this thread because it reminds me - there always too much of something or even better - too much is too much no matter who or what side ... hu?

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