A Wolf Among the Sheep

rugadd wrote: That is a rough one. If I am myself and myself changes depending on the circumstances, wouldn't that mean who I am is dependent on my environment at any given time? What can I hold too that applies in every situation? Even trying to be understanding and tolerant can backfire if we insist on doing so under the wrong circumstances...

This, my friend, I feel is the hardest struggle of being a Jedi. Heck, of just being human.

rugadd wrote: That is a rough one. If I am myself and myself changes depending on the circumstances, wouldn't that mean who I am is dependent on my environment at any given time? What can I hold too that applies in every situation? Even trying to be understanding and tolerant can backfire if we insist on doing so under the wrong circumstances...

Absolutely true. When I claim to be "genuine", the best I can do is be genuine at any moment, but that will be different depending on my mood, who I'm talking to, what I ate for lunch, etc. It takes a lot of practice to recognize external influences that might be effecting the way we choose to behave. It will always be different, so I don't know that there is anything we can hold on to in every single instance.

Could it be said part of becoming our personal best would be choosing the environments that will bring out our greater potential?

And actively avoiding environments that would influence us to our worst?

Those traits would have to be identified...

What is noble and true to me? Where can I find a place where those things are encouraged and exemplified? What goes against my better self? What environments would work against me in this way?

Theres a fine line to walk between being too soft and too hard. Some people are too soft, and anyone or anything that comes along can bend them up, twist them around and distort them into some weird shape that really doesnt suit. These are people who are too easily influenced by their peers and environments, and people who are overly sensitive. Some people are hurt by everything, broken down by any hint of disapproval or rejection. Wanting to please people, wanting not to offend people, lonely, afraid, and needing to be liked and approved of, a too soft person will crumble under pressure. He or she will adopt the ideas of a leader or even a whole group, on the hope for belonging and connection. Such a person will invariably compromise him or herself at the beckoning of others, or fail to secure his or her needs in order to avoid conflict or social tension.

But some people are just too damn hard: they are obtuse and stubborn and totally unyielding. We all have what you could call "blind spots" to our personalities: areas where we are less developed than we could be. Areas where we frankly just need to improve in order to be bearable and/or reliable to those around us. We all have these blind spots, and if we pay attention to how people respond to us, their input can be absolutely invaluable in helping us understand where those spots are. Those bits and pieces of our personalities that we can and should improve. Too hard people refuse to accept feedback: they are obstinant and unyielding, and any perceived criticism is rationalized away as someones elses problem, someone elses mistake, someone elses shortcoming. A too hard person simply refuses to hear what is said to them.

Neither is better than the other, ultimately. Too soft and too hard are both... lets say " less than optimal" and speaking for myself, its a lifetime struggle to strike the appropriate balance between them. I have tendency towards both so im maybe the most effed up of anybody lol. I also recognize my kindred spirits on both sides

Funny that my past self would talk to me like this...




https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/sermons/2221-fickleness-yet-discipline-by-rugadd

Interesting... I'm curious though, why not just ask instead of speculating behind the veil?