On Earning Respect (Split from RESPECT)

Respect should be automatic. I have no reason to respect or disrespect people I don't know or barely know anything about, but it's socially advantageous and perhaps spiritually fulfilling to treat others with respect. If they do something heinous, like killing or raping or committing genocide, etc., then we have reason not to respect a person. If they do something heroic, like dragging a dozen unconscious children from a burning car or building or donating large sums of money to those in need or helping to develop cures for diseases, or generally living with wisdom and excellence, etc., then we have a reason to give them more respect. Respect is thereby both earned and present by default.

I don't think it's right to completely lack respect for another person regardless of their actions. And no, I don't think that disrespecting Hitler makes you "just as bad" as someone responsible for killing millions of people. That just seems ridiculous to me. Treating Hitler badly would be a natural consequence of his actions. But that doesn't mean I'd go out of my way to spit on him, piss on him, or do anything really degrading like that. There is a difference between disrespecting someone and doing something unethical to someone. If I disrespect someone, that's not necessarily connected to any specific actions -- it's a state of mind. If I commit a disrespectful action towards someone, why? It seems nonsensical. I'm not going to gain anything by spitting in an ISIS member's face, for example. Nothing good comes about from carrying yourself that way.

I think many people confuse:

Full Definition of respect
1
: a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation <remarks having respect to an earlier plan>
2
: an act of giving particular attention : consideration
3
a : high or special regard : esteem
b : the quality or state of being esteemed
c plural : expressions of high or special regard or deference <paid our respects>
4
: particular, detail <a good plan in some respects>
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/respect

With:

Full Definition of civility
plural civilities
1
archaic : training in the humanities
2
a : civilized conduct; especially : courtesy, politeness
b : a polite act or expression

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/civility


In short respect for a person in my eyes is always something to be earned. However I will always be civil unless given a reason not to be. Now all people should have basic human dignity that I agree but that is again not the same as respect. No living creature should be treated cruelly no matter how loathsome. I do not burn pesky ants with a magnifying glass nor do I think one should torture a loathsome human-being (though on an emotional level I can understand the desire). Its best in such cases to end things swiftly and with as little suffering as possible.

MadHatter wrote: No living creature should be treated cruelly no matter how loathsome. I do not burn pesky ants with a magnifying glass nor do I think one should torture a loathsome human-being (though on an emotional level I can understand the desire).

i believe that there are some people, because of their savagry towards others, basically do deserve to be treated pretty badly

the kind of respect that would prevent me from being the one to do it, or even to condone doing it if i have any say in the matter, is self respect

it isnt about what other people deserve, but the kind of person that i want to be

i think it would degrade and damage me as a person to become some kind of torturer

I think giving respect is beneficial to the giver. VS Being disrespectful bleeds/lea positive energy.

Does everyone deserve it?

Most do but: prejudice, our judgment and over attachment to our opinions get in the way.

We actually had a good discussion on respect ( here's the transcript )

Basically, there's a difference between respect and being respectful

Being respectful is courtesy and reflects on you more than who you're speaking with

Respect has two parts
Positional Respect: respect due to a person's rank/job/standing ie: rank (military/forums), parents, school teachers, presidents, bosses, forum mods
Personal Respect: Respect that is earned or lost based on the actions of an individual as a person.

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My personal operating instructions usually go like this:
Are you a human? HURAY! You get a level of respect in my eyes.
Oh you did a thing? My personal respect sliding scale will adjust accordingly
You did another thing? Adjust again!
You did a thing that earned you negative points? I'll still treat you with courtesy, but I may not trust you.
You did more things that earned negative points? Still courtesy (which may still mean that I no longer speak to you), and I will not trust you.
You did a thing to earn you positive points? You got a long way to go. I'll still credit you those points but it's a heck of a lot harder to earn positive points than negative.

My respect scale defines what I will be willing to do for you, and what I'll trust you with. It will also define how I will respond to you. I'll be much more open, friendly, and willing to offer my help if you're on the 'positive' end of that scale (the higher, the more you'll get from me). If you're down the negative side, I'll be reserved, polite, and guarded with you.