R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Find out What it Means - Guided Discussion Sun 19 Jun 19:00 UTC

(12:00:32) Kit: Well let's get started. Late comers can always jump in
(12:01:30) Kit: So it's always good to start out with the definition and here's what Google's dictionary states
(12:01:38) Kit: noun: respect
1.a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
(12:02:02) Kit: Verb: respect
1.admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
(12:02:35) Kit: Do you think that covers everything respect is?
(12:02:55) Ryder: No
(12:03:04) Kit: what else would you add?
(12:03:27) Ryder: A genuine respect for someone, simply because they're human, I suppose.
(12:03:38) Alexandre_Orion: I'm not sure that it is a sentiment
(12:03:53) Alexandre_Orion: it is a mode of recognition
(12:04:22) Kit: Do you hold respect for me? Why?
(12:04:36) Gwinn: (or why not?)
(12:04:50) Kit: haha yes or why not
(12:05:55) Gwinn: I respect you because when I was having a really tough time late last year and early this year, you went out of your way to help me through it. You've taught me, you've helped me when you didn't really have to.
(12:06:11) Alexandre_Orion: well, to start with, there would be the recognition of our common humanity
(12:06:20) Ryder: I hold respect for you because I've known you since I came to TOTJO, you've taught me many things, and you've been here a great deal longer than me.
(12:07:13) OB1Shinobi: i think that respect towards specific individuals is a kind of admiration on the one hand, and a sort of etiquette on the other
(12:07:39) Alexandre_Orion:
(12:08:00) Ryder: (To add, when I mentioned respect for someone just because they're human, I didn't mean that was something I've ever had)
(12:08:18) Kit: So I'm seeing two different kinds of respect in what's been mentioned so far, do you see them?[/color]
(12:08:24) OB1Shinobi: then there is a kind of respect for principles, like master Alexandre mentioned- even if someone is not an impressive person to us, we respect their worth out of principle
(12:08:59) Ryder: That's a better way of putting it
(12:09:20) Alexandre_Orion: and that familiarity with what it is like to be an "I"
(12:09:38) Kit: I'll be specifically talking about respect for other people, rather than respect for an idea
(12:10:03) Alexandre_Orion: it often comes back to the same thing, Kit
(12:10:11) Karn: Not about respect for a thing/object?
(12:10:13) Kit: true
(12:10:29) MidnightDragon: To me, there's a difference between respecting someone and being respectful to someone. For me to respect someone, they need to earn it, but I try to be respectful to everyone, even if I don't know them... Does that make sense?
(12:10:50) Aqua: Mm.. explaining respect, would ,,equal value to an other as to yourself'' be a way to explain respect?
(12:10:54) Ryder: Yes, it really does
(12:10:56) Alexandre_Orion: usually when we respect/disrespect other people, it is because we are abiding an idea that isn't part of the common humanity
(12:10:58) Ryder: Like with parents
(12:11:14) Alexandre_Orion: re-spicare
(12:11:20) Alexandre_Orion: "to look again"
(12:11:30) OB1Shinobi: familiarity with what it is like to be an "I" - yes i think thats right. we show respect towards others because regardless of any critique we might have of them, we recognize our own personhood, and maybe our own imperfection
(12:11:35) Kit: So Gwinn and Ryder talked about their respect for me because of something I did for them,
(12:11:41) Kit: Alex talked about respect for me for what I am
(12:12:09) OB1Shinobi: i respect you for what you are
(12:12:42) OB1Shinobi: a person who does ttheir best
(12:12:43) Aqua respects Kit as equal energy
(12:13:06) Kit: There's two kinds of respect there.
Personal Respect. The kind a person earns for their actions
Positional Respect. Respect for a person's rank (in one way or another)
(12:13:25) Ryder: Would it be real respect to respect someone just for their rank?
(12:13:31) Kit: That's positional respect
(12:13:41) Karn: I can respect a rank/position or title, but not respect the person that is in it
(12:14:04) Kit: Yep! What happens when you don't have that personal respect for someone but have to respect the position?
(12:14:48) OB1Shinobi: yeah thats an even more mature kind of respect in a way
(12:14:56) Kit: This can be a boss, a parent, a community leader,
(12:15:03) Alexandre_Orion: one may want to question if it is the person who does not have our respect, or something else ...
(12:15:03) OB1Shinobi: a more disciplined kind at least
(12:15:12) Ryder: That's just a social hierarchy.
(12:15:32) Alexandre_Orion: tat tvam asi
(12:16:04) OB1Shinobi: well social hierarchy created us in a way, it provides safety to a greater or lesser degree, feeds us clothes us and gives us the internet and running water
(12:16:21) OB1Shinobi: and it punishes us if we disrespect it too greatly
(12:16:26) Ryder: I didn't say it was a bad thing.
(12:16:38) Ryder: Now I could go into that, but that would be off topic
(12:17:36) OB1Shinobi: well is it worthy of respect? i dont mean blind unquestioning obedience, but just basic respect?
(12:18:04) Gwinn: I think if we have to respect someone's position, but can't respect the person holding it, it can create a hollow or apathetic feeling about whatever organization we're talking about.
(12:18:19) Gwinn: People who can't respect their bosses end up not caring or hating their jobs
(12:18:35) Kit: I know when I don't have respect for someone who outranks me and is apart of my leadership chain at work, I'm left rather disgruntled and questioning everything they tell me to do
(12:18:44) Gwinn: Many people don't respect politicians these days, and are apathetic about their community/country because of it
(12:18:55) MartaLina: I think if you dont respect the person in a higher position you start questioning their descisions and motivs
(12:19:00) Ryder: Maybe you could call positional respect external respect.
(12:19:07) Karn: It definitely leads to a hostile or unwelcome environment
(12:19:49) Kit: What happens when you find yourself with someone who holds personal respect, but has no authority?
(12:20:50) Ryder: For me, I look at them on the same level most of the time
(12:20:59) Ryder: As a friend or an opponent
(12:21:05) Potato-Dragon: Same
(12:21:14) Ryder: Or both
(12:21:42) Kit: What about someone who has both positional authority and personal authority?
(12:22:06) Kit: *positional respect and personal respect lol
(12:22:25) Ryder: Sometimes I look at them as trying to help, but just a cog in the machine. I'm thinking of police officers and therapists
(12:22:41) Gwinn: Those are the people it's easy to follow.
(12:23:23) OB1Shinobi: so people have to earn their positions and live up to them
(12:24:08) Potato-Dragon: for me, I respect everyone until they give me a reason to not respect them
(12:24:10) Ryder: I mean, it's hard to be friends with someone who makes rules for you
(12:24:25) Ryder: Knowing they could ruin your life if they wanted to
(12:24:33) Gwinn: Not if they're worthy of the respect, Ryder
(12:24:41) Kit: I've told an officer once, "You're the kind of leader, that if you said 'grab a shovel, we're digging to Hell', I'd grab the nearest one I could find and dig until you told me to stop, and be pleased to do it"
(12:24:41) Gwinn: Kit and I are good friends, and she makes rules for me as my Master
(12:25:08) Gwinn: I was also good friends with a boss at work
(12:25:32) Gwinn: We respected each other, both personally and positionally.
(12:26:00) Ryder: Kit, is there a difference between genuine positional respect and faked positional respect?
(12:26:53) Alexandre_Orion: there's a big one, lad
(12:27:06) Ryder: I mean in terms of what we call it
(12:27:06) Alexandre_Orion: and it is pretty evident
(12:27:08) Karn: I think there is Ryder
(12:27:13) Kit: No, positional respect is respect for a person solely because of the 'rank' they hold. Such as a parent. They'll always be a parent and there's repercussions if you don't respect what they say.
(12:27:43) Ryder: So, positional respect is all external
(12:27:43) Alexandre_Orion: oh ... that's what you meant by that
(12:28:00) Kit: You don't have to be HAPPY about doing what they say, but you still have to because of the respect for that position
(12:28:06) Ryder: Then I'm curious, why would you dig to hell for that officer?
(12:28:07) Alexandre_Orion: positional respect as acquiescement
(12:28:25) Kit: Because he also held my respect for him as a person
(12:29:36) Kit: His positional respect means that I would HAVE to do what he said, no matter how I felt about it. But his personal respect inspired me in a way that I'd do anything up to breaking the law for him
(12:29:49) Kit: *nearly anything
(12:30:33) OB1Shinobi: lol - which brings back to how people use their authority
(12:30:45) OB1Shinobi: its difficult to respect someone who uses their authority poorly
(12:31:01) OB1Shinobi: respectthem personally i mean
(12:31:07) Kit: To bring an example to the Temple, just before my knighting, I got into an argument with someone who brushed me off. But as soon as my Knighthood was announced, this person was all about talking to me.
(12:31:24) Kit: To this person, being a Knight, suddenly made me a different person
(12:31:42) CableSteele: This would include respect for the President regardless of your personal opinion of the man
(12:32:21) OB1Shinobi: well i can understand someone having a respect for the accomplishment
(12:32:25) MidnightDragon: When someone has earned your respect, your willing to follow them to hell and back. Sometimes position changes the way people respect you and that's not always a good thing. Like someone who is an important figure in society but a truely awful person.
(12:33:17) Kit: I've spoken to many younger folks here who seem they are yearning for the title of Knight. But may not be acting like it. It seems to me it's like they feel that wearing that badge of Knighthood will bring them that respect
(12:33:18) OB1Shinobi: but yeah i understand being brushed off, and then of later someone starts acting friendly it seems pretty two faced
(12:33:29) CableSteele: MidnightDragon yes, like Hitler who was very popular in the early days
(12:33:46) OB1Shinobi: *if
(12:34:32) Kit: But by not acting like a Knight, even before the title, they'd be lacking that personal respect
(12:35:01) Kit: What are ways you have found where people have earned respect in your eyes?
(12:35:03) Ryder: "Mutual benefit = allies. Unconditional love = friends."
(12:35:27) Potato-Dragon: and then once Hilter came to power people realized how horrible he was
(12:36:01) Ryder: When someone loved me for who I am I did the same
(12:36:08) Ryder: To them
(12:36:16) MidnightDragon: When they act respectful to everyone, even the people below them.
(12:36:21) Ryder: But would that be allies or friends?
(12:36:23) Potato-Dragon: I always respect people who give more then receive
(12:36:26) CableSteele: When someone responds to an attack with peace and forgiveness, it causes me to respect them more
(12:37:01) Potato-Dragon: Like MLK
(12:37:17) Kit: I like those
(12:37:31) Gwinn: I agree with Potato
(12:37:44) Alexandre_Orion: that is a hard question to answer
(12:38:05) Gwinn: It's like Campbell says about the hero--one who gives themself to something greater than themself--whether it's others, or to a cause, or something similar
(12:38:21) Ryder: When I see someone who challenges authority, they automatically have my respect
(12:38:22) OB1Shinobi: online i tend to respect ideas more than people - i dont know any of the people, really. so the ideas that are expressed and the way that people reach their conclusions usually is what gets my respect
(12:38:26) Ryder: Which I know isn't wise
(12:38:29) OB1Shinobi: maybe thta isnt fair of me
(12:38:38) MidnightDragon: CableSteele that's also a huge thing for me, because it's hard for me to control my anger sometimes and so when I see people acting peacefully where I would most likely start a fight, I respect them so,much more.
(12:39:26) CableSteele: MidnightDragon yeah, me too. I have respect for people who succeed where I fail
(12:39:54) Kit: I think my top two are: Treating me like a human being (taking the time out of their day to listen to my concerns) and how they treat the people around them
(12:40:27) Kit: What about the other side? How do people loose your respect?
(12:40:46) CableSteele: by acting like animals
(12:40:49) MartaLina: when they lie
(12:41:02) Kit: That's my biggest one too Marta
(12:41:04) CableSteele: the law of the jungle need not apply to humans
(12:41:12) Potato-Dragon: looking down on other people who are trying their hardest
(12:41:26) MartaLina: when they manipulate and set people up for failure
(12:41:26) Gwinn: Well when I interact with someone I extend a certain amount of courtesy to them--the "respect for being human/existing" as we talked about earlier..
(12:41:31) Kit: How acting like animals Cable?
(12:41:35) Ryder: Yes, when they lie. And when they accuse me of lying
(12:41:37) MidnightDragon: People who use they're position to get what they want from other people just because their "more important" then them.
(12:41:47) Gwinn: If they abuse that courtesy, am less likely to extend that courtesy again, as well as respect them.
(12:42:01) Potato-Dragon: not respecting people in general
(12:42:32) CableSteele: reacting with fear or anger. rather than responding with logic and reason
(12:42:47) Kit: got ya
(12:43:03) Kit: I noticed something with those last two questions, did anyone else?
(12:43:22) Alexandre_Orion: yet, fear and anger are part of our common humanity, aren't they ?
(12:43:23) MartaLina: yes its easier to find faults
(12:43:37) CableSteele: something about letting the actions of others determine our level of respect for any given thing or person?
(12:43:54) CableSteele: can we not choose to respect someone even if they offend us?
(12:44:10) Ryder: I agree with Gwinn, but I think he misinterpreted my idea
(12:44:27) MidnightDragon: We all had different ideas but when we had similar ones, we discussed them.
(12:44:29) MartaLina: its harder to tell why you respect someone than when you dont respect them
(12:44:33) Ryder: The respect for being human would be unconditional
(12:44:46) Karn: Abuse of authority/position. Treating others poorly/beneath you.
(12:45:12) Kit: So do you think that it's easier to lose respect rather than gain it?
(12:45:18) MartaLina: yes
(12:45:24) Ryder: Yeah
(12:45:38) Gwinn: Ryder, I've heard you talk about your family and you don't show much respect your parents...they're human though?
(12:46:01) Ryder: Yes, but I don't have respect for them just because they're human.
(12:46:11) Ryder: Like I said, it's an idea I stated but don't follow
(12:46:12) MidnightDragon: And once you lose respect, it's hard to earn it back
(12:46:12) CableSteele: Alexandre_Orion Yes, but as Jedi, we seek to respond not out of fear and anger but out of logic
(12:46:24) Ryder: Or preach
(12:46:52) OB1Shinobi: well i think there is a difference between challenging peoples ideas and respecting them
(12:47:02) OB1Shinobi: we can challenge each other and still be respectful
(12:47:05) OB1Shinobi: theoretically lol
(12:47:36) Gwinn: I think it is, Kit
(12:47:42) OB1Shinobi: the respect for humanity is based on the idea that we have to have a basically stable society, and the recognition that we ourselves are imperfect
(12:48:20) OB1Shinobi: but its also an issue of just what kindof respect we mean when we say "respect"
(12:48:44) Gwinn: Some people spend years gaining respect in their communities, through years of hard work--and if they make a mistake, that community will pretty much burn them at the stake.
(12:48:55) OB1Shinobi: you mightnot respect someone =in the sense of admiring them, but you can respect them in the sense of showing them courtesy or acknowledging their position or authority
(12:48:59) Kit: If someone has lost your respect, what do you think, as a Jedi, is the proper way to handle future interactions with them?
(12:49:19) OB1Shinobi: i think that depends on how it happened
(12:49:40) OB1Shinobi: and on how they carry themselves afterwards
(12:49:50) MartaLina: depends on the situation Kit
(12:49:51) MidnightDragon: Still treat them respectfully, just like you should with everyone
(12:49:59) Kit: Would that not change your respect for them Ob1?
(12:50:28) Ryder: In the past I've just ignored them, because they made my life more difficult
(12:50:53) Ryder: But if you're dealing with someone close to you, it's harder
(12:50:56) MidnightDragon: Just because you don't respect them, doesn't mean you need to be rude for them. And if you can't be respectful, then try to avoid confrontation.
(12:51:20) OB1Shinobi: i think itslikethis; if someone makes some misjudgement or is tempted to do something that maybe isnto totally ethical or perfect, then i might be less trustful of them but i would allow them the opportunity to show that it was a momentary mistake
(12:51:50) OB1Shinobi: but if they do soemthing which reveals that i never understood them atall, that they were in fact unethical as a habit, then i would not be able to respectthem
(12:52:18) Gwinn: In the past I have let it go, and just pretended they hadn't done anything...I don't think this is a healthy way to handle it though
(12:52:19) Kit: So you keep your scale open for further evidence Ob1?
(12:52:41) Alexandre_Orion: ... to be understood than to understand
(12:52:43) OB1Shinobi: also i feel like its important to see the growth that peopl emake, like someone can be obnoxious and i wont enjoy that, but they will have moments of maturiity and i dont want to ignore those because of my personal rjudgements
(12:52:46) OB1Shinobi: yes
(12:52:53) OB1Shinobi: keep open for further evidence
(12:53:38) Kit: I like this. Don't let one mistake define that person's character for you for evermore, but in the meantime, still treat them respectfully
(12:53:48) Gwinn: What about letting that person know they've lost your respect?
(12:54:08) OB1Shinobi: why would you let them know?
(12:54:20) Gwinn: Why wouldn't you?
(12:54:26) Gwinn: What would improve if you didn't?
(12:54:30) Ryder: Well, I've torn down everything I didn't respect the person for yet still ignored them when they spoke to me.
(12:54:55) OB1Shinobi: well i guess its situational, in some cases things may improve,but in others you might just make them wirse
(12:55:10) Kit: Hmm... I can think of only a handful of times I've actually said "You've lost my respect". And it was intended as an...instruction I guess.
(12:55:12) OB1Shinobi: worse*
(12:55:13) CableSteele: Kit yes. I like that. Forgiveness is a powerful tool in the hands of a Jedi. my Forgive-sabre
(12:55:34) Gwinn: As I said, I used to pretend people hadn't lost my respect...and they continued to do the same stuff...and it wore on me, and strained relationships
(12:55:39) Kit: Do you feel that's the best you can do for that person Ryder?
(12:56:00) Ryder: Really no. Sometimes it's the most I'm capable of.
(12:57:17) Kit: Honestly, I don't wander around with personalized visuals of my respect scales to show off to everyone. I didn't even start paying attention to it until I wanted to be like the people who inspired me
(12:57:27) Gwinn: Sometimes I think you need to let the other person know how you feel--and maybe it will get worse, but maybe it will get better. But if they think what they're doing is ok, chances are they'll do it again.
(12:57:58) Kit: I wanted to find out what it was that made me so dedicated to them, and that's when I started realizing how important respect was in my interactions with people
(12:58:06) Gwinn: There's a way to do it respectfully though, and maybe not every situation calls for it, though I know from experience that sometimes it DOES call for it.
(12:58:43) Kit: I don't think, if the respect scale changes, you need to announce it at all times, but your interactions with that person can definitely change to reflect that.
(12:59:03) Ryder: There was a time I lost respect for someone because they kicked me out of positional authority because someone made a lie about me.
(12:59:28) Ryder: I destroyed their group, a really bad mistake.
(12:59:44) Ryder: Just because I felt bad.
(13:00:05) Kit: How do you think you could have handled that better Ryder?
(13:00:18) Ryder: I did talk to the leader first
(13:00:30) Ryder: He said that I was forever banned and thought I was lying
(13:00:51) Gwinn: Right Kit, I don't think you need to say how much you respect a person all the time...but what you said, about interactions--what I used to do was just keep doing what I was doing. There are different ways of telling that person that they've lost your respect.
(13:00:55) Ryder: I could have let it go or just impersonated the leader instead of destroying the whole group
(13:01:25) Gwinn: What I did just let the person walk all over me. And I kept treating them respectfully, and they'd walk all over me again.
(13:01:54) Gwinn: But unless they know that what they're doing is offensive to others, they never have the opportunity to fix it.
(13:02:34) Gwinn: And using that opportunity to do so, would definitely change the way they were respected.
(13:02:35) Kit: So here's a nice acronym that I found for Respect
(13:02:43) Kit: R RECOGNIZE the inherent worth of all human beings.
(13:03:13) Kit: We talked about that already. Have you ever had someone fall under that level of respect?
(13:04:06) OB1Shinobi: in my experience people cannot be convinced that they should treat others respectfully, especially in relationships
(13:04:45) Gwinn: Kit--do you mean have I classified anybody under that, or have they fallen BELOW that?
(13:04:50) OB1Shinobi: ive learned that people who disrespect you deleiberately will always do so as long as youre aroun
(13:05:01) OB1Shinobi: around
(13:05:11) Kit: That you have ranked them under that Gwinn
(13:05:39) Kit: say it's a scale of 1-10 and 5 is the default "human" level
(13:05:49) Kit: Have you ever had anyone rate a 3 on your scale?
(13:06:11) Gwinn: Not anybody I've ever met
(13:06:36) Gwinn: Though I feel like it's easy to do that with people you've heard about
(13:06:47) OB1Shinobi: you have to respect yourself enough to leave, thats been my experience
(13:07:07) Kit: I have. This person did some terrible things and I was forced to cut them out of my life. Unfortunately it was one of those things where I couldn't even afford them basic respect because it would just bring them back again
(13:07:18) OB1Shinobi: yes i have too
(13:07:59) Kit: Exactly Ob1. Sometimes those do come up. And a fervently hope it's a rare occurrence for all of you.
(13:08:11) OB1Shinobi: sorry kit, it sucks when you have to do that
(13:08:12) Kit: So next there's E
(13:08:14) Kit: E ELIMINATE derogatory words and phrases from your vocabulary.
(13:08:41) Kit: thanks Ob1 *hugs*
(13:08:58) Kit: Why is this helpful?
(13:09:02) OB1Shinobi:
(13:10:49) Gwinn: Because the way you speak can influence your thinking
(13:11:02) Kit: Ooo I didn't think of that yes!
(13:11:29) OB1Shinobi: and thees no way to make the situation better if youre adding hostility and resentment to it
(13:11:32) CableSteele: out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks
(13:11:57) Kit: It's a good way to loose respect in other people's eyes
(13:12:03) Kit: S SPEAK with people – not at them…or about them.
(13:12:24) Kit: Have you ever been talked AT instead of TO?
(13:12:39) Gwinn: Yes, and I've done some talking at as well
(13:12:46) Ryder: When I'm in an argument
(13:12:55) Ryder: People just want to win
(13:12:58) Kit: I think it's something we've all probably done Gwinn
(13:13:41) Ryder: Winning seems more important than learning in an argument
(13:13:43) Kit: I mentioned before, that when people treat me like a human being, when they spend the time to talk with me that it's a big respect booster for me.
(13:13:51) CableSteele: Ryder not everyone just wants to win. I seek truth when I argue
(13:14:23) Gwinn: Sometimes when we're feeling unimportant we just want others to show us some love, so we tell them everything, hoping they'll appreciate it...instead it makes them not want to talk to us because we're just spamming them with our ideas instead of showing THEM appreciation as well
(13:14:39) Kit: Studies have also shown, that the less you gossip, the less others will gossip about you and the more likely they are to trust you
(13:14:51) OB1Shinobi: i usually seek to win lol if all i wanted were truth it wouldnt be an argument
(13:14:51) CableSteele: Gwinn I'm guilty
(13:15:10) OB1Shinobi: but i argue less now than i used to
(13:15:17) Kit: Two-way street Gwinn?
(13:15:24) Gwinn: Yes
(13:15:43) Gwinn: Sometimes it's hard to read the street signs though, when we're blinded by emotions
(13:15:51) Kit: true
(13:15:53) Ryder: I'm very bad at that
(13:15:55) Avalonslight: Two way streets are very important
(13:16:09) Kit: P PRACTICE empathy. Walk awhile in others’ shoes.
(13:16:42) Kit: I think as Jedi that's one we try to do anyways almost as a rule
(13:17:04) Gwinn: We try
(13:17:08) CableSteele: Kit but it's a good reminder
(13:17:16) Kit: Yup
(13:17:21) Avalonslight: Indeed
(13:17:36) Kit: E EARN respect from others through respect-worthy behaviors.
(13:17:56) Kit: We talked a lot about what some of those are already
(13:18:19) Kit: C CONSIDER others’ feelings before speaking and acting.
(13:18:50) Kit: Do you think this means that we should never do anything to hurt someone else's feelings?
(13:19:18) Ryder: yes
(13:19:31) Kit: even at the expense of your own?
(13:19:39) Avalonslight: I think its unavoidable...
(13:19:59) Gwinn: Not really--as I said above, sometimes you need to let people know that they have let you down. Sometimes this is the only way to provide the opportunity to improve things.
(13:20:01) Kit: Why Ava?
(13:20:22) CableSteele: sometimes it's not possible to know what will hurt someone, but if we do know, we should try to avoid it
(13:21:01) Avalonslight: Well... without naming names, just recently I dealt with a case where someone was trying to be empathetic to someone hurting, the one hurting responded with hurt, and the one trying to help got hurt.
(13:21:39) Kit: I've purposely done things before I knew would hurt the other person (emotionally)
(13:21:44) Ryder: Guilty. I've had people do that to me too
(13:21:52) Avalonslight: No matter how thoughtful you are, eventually someone will react with hurt that was unintended.
(13:22:06) OB1Shinobi: right, i think its an issue of why we do what we do
(13:22:10) CableSteele: oh how often we do what do not want to do
(13:22:10) Kit: But it was to help protect me and someone else. I just knew the other person would take it badly
(13:22:35) OB1Shinobi: if we act with the intention o hurting someone as our main motive then we're not going to make thigs better usually
(13:22:48) Kit: It's why I really like that it says CONSIDER, rather than something like refrain from hurting others' feelings
(13:23:10) Avalonslight: Self respect is as important as of not more important than respect towards others
(13:23:30) Kit: And for some, like me , self respect is hard to get ahold of haha
(13:23:43) Kit: T TREAT everyone with dignity and courtesy.
(13:23:44) Avalonslight: Ditto
(13:23:53) OB1Shinobi: yeah for a lot of us, it takes time to learn
(13:24:17) Kit: We mentioned that too, being respectful to people, no matter where they rate on our respect scale (as we can)
(13:24:17) OB1Shinobi: learnthe hard way lol
(13:24:48) Kit: Here's the block altogether
R RECOGNIZE the inherent worth of all human beings.
E ELIMINATE derogatory words and phrases from your vocabulary.
S SPEAK with people – not at them…or about them.
P PRACTICE empathy. Walk awhile in others’ shoes.
E EARN respect from others through respect-worthy behaviors.
C CONSIDER others’ feelings before speaking and acting.
T TREAT everyone with dignity and courtesy.
(13:24:59) OB1Shinobi: thats very tough for me
(13:25:41) CableSteele: yes! I love it. That's our power as humans, to forgive the trespasses committed against us and treat even our enemies with respect whether they deserve it or not.
(13:25:46) OB1Shinobi: if i feel someone direspect me i have a reflex to hit back, and to a great degree i want that reflex a tually
(13:25:49) Avalonslight: Oooo is this an AF thing kit?
(13:25:51) OB1Shinobi: actually
(13:25:59) Kit: (here's the reference http://www.budbilanich.com/r-e-s​-p-e-c-t-dont-know-what-it-means-​to-me/ )
(13:26:24) Kit: No Ava, I was actually looking for the Air Force one when I first started, the only part I can remember is R: Resolve issues at the lowest level
(13:26:44) Avalonslight: Lmao
(13:27:01) Kit: Any final thoughts?
(13:27:09) Avalonslight: I would be interested to see the rest
(13:27:23) Kit: I'll let you know if I run across it again Ava
(13:27:35) CableSteele: good job Kit, very well organized, sorry I was late
(13:27:51) OB1Shinobi: i like that, really cool
(13:27:59) Kit: Thank you Cable all good! Thanks for coming!
(13:28:13) OB1Shinobi: thanks Kit, great job
(13:28:19) Kit: thank you!
(13:28:45) OB1Shinobi: laterz all
(13:28:52) Ryder: This was good Kit. Thanks
(13:28:58) Kit: Thanks for coming Ob1! Laters!
(13:29:01) Avalonslight: No kit. You must start over at the beginning
(13:29:07) Avalonslight:
(13:29:08) Kit: Thanks Ryder! Thanks for being here
(13:29:25) Kit: you can go start yourself at the beginning in a bit
(13:29:34) Avalonslight: Lol
(13:29:55) Kit: That's a wrap then! Thanks all