the difference between introverts and extroverts

V-Tog wrote: It's great that Jeriko is on the same page (not that I'm at all surprised, having met him )...I'm just aware that it's something that becomes a big bone of contention in some relationships. I often wonder about it myself because I'm aware that when I'm kind of, erm...crushing on someone, or in love with them, the introvert thing goes out of the window with them :laugh: I could spend every minute of the day with that person and I'd be fine :laugh: But I imagine (being not able to really properly speak about this from experience) that once you've been with them a while and all that hormonal/chemical brain stuff settles down (that's a technical term, obviously), normal introvertosity is presumably resumed... :dry:

I dunno - is it just me who experiences that suspension of introversion with people I'm attracted to or is that a common experience among you guys too?

It's not just you When Jeriko and I met (feels like a decade ago.. wait, it was ) there was definitely that suspension. He understands my introversion now because he can be the same with people, though not quite as much as me. One of my parents commented they didn't know how we did it (they spend all their home time together) but for us, having personal space is the reason we've been able to stay together. If we were in each other's space all the time I'm not sure how happy we'd be.

My usual 'introvert-ness' can suspend itself in the presence of certain people depending on the circumstances. Last year at the gathering for example, as long as I took 5 minutes out to myself every now and then, I was fine. That was partly because we had 'quiet together time' as well as 'noisy together time' if that makes sense.

Edan wrote:
My usual 'introvert-ness' can suspend itself in the presence of certain people depending on the circumstances. Last year at the gathering for example, as long as I took 5 minutes out to myself every now and then, I was fine. That was partly because we had 'quiet together time' as well as 'noisy together time' if that makes sense.

To me that makes complete sense , i love it when i can just sit and stare at something together , or just enjoy each other in silence , if i have to talk all the time, i am not comfortable i get drained and irritated , i am also capable of sleeping for half an hour in the middle of the day :lol: if people dont understand , i say i am getting a head age loll , no lie and if i stay i will get a headache as well because its to noisy in my head :S

Edan wrote: Being an introvert often feels a bit like being the black sheep...

To be fair, I have a very, very hard time with online interactions recently because of the wellspring of pro-introvert internet stuff. I am an extrovert by nature--something recently subverted by the onset of anxiety--but I don't get to get out and socialize the way I need to. It leaves me with very little energy with which to deal with social situations; ironically, sometimes when my battery runs dry, it's harder to recharge (to continue the metaphor).

I've found that many of my online friends are introverts that don't socialize online the way they do in meatspace. Most of my truly, deeply introverted friends are ridiculously talkative online, either through text or a/v. I assume this is because they aren't actually forced to be around other people when doing such. I appreciate that, but it often results in me having zero time at all away from people in a situation that frustrates me, because I have no energy left due to never being around people socially in situations I enjoy. That is to say, introverts have a habit of overloading my patience online because I don't have the appropriate amount of energy to deal with them in that format.

I'm not trying to make light of the troubles introverts face in the world, but I do find it entertaining that in my personal experience they seem to be the opposite online.

Just to clarify something, I believe there is a difference between those that are natural introverts and those that suffer from social anxiety. There are many who mistake the second for the first.

Those with social anxiety are those who deal with self-consciousness, and often have trouble socializing unless using something to help them bypass that self-consciousness such as alcohol. This is not necessarily the same thing as introversion, at least not in the most natural or integrated sense.

I've found that many of my online friends are introverts that don't socialize online the way they do in meatspace. Most of my truly, deeply introverted friends are ridiculously talkative online, either through text or a/v. I assume this is because they aren't actually forced to be around other people when doing such. I appreciate that, but it often results in me having zero time at all away from people in a situation that frustrates me, because I have no energy left due to never being around people socially in situations I enjoy. That is to say, introverts have a habit of overloading my patience online because I don't have the appropriate amount of energy to deal with them in that format.

I'm not trying to make light of the troubles introverts face in the world, but I do find it entertaining that in my personal experience they seem to be the opposite online.

Again, speaking personally here, I can say that this frustration goes both way. Yes, socializing online is easier, because of the whole "not being forced to be with people", but also because, again at least for me personally, I'm not forced solely into nothing but interaction. I can be talking with someone, and writing, or reading, or watching TV. But the frustration there about not acting the same in person stands for us as well. The expectation is there that I be all super chatty in person, but the background is ignored. I don't like talking verbally all the time. I like to just sit there in watch other people do their thing..yknow, people watching. I don't want to get dragged out of my house every evening. I remember once someone thought I was a good 10-15 years older than I really was because I didn't like clubbing. I was told to act my age. The thing is is that it's a completely different form of interacting.

I think this goes back to the whole being introverted equates to being shy. We're not expected to enjoy interacting, so when we interact in a way that works for us, we're expected to be extroverted on everything, and it just doesn't work that way.

That said, as much as it the responsibility of people to understand that, it is also our responsibility to recognize and understand that when an extrovert needs their time alone, it's because they're overloaded and over energized and need some time to settle down. Just like when an introvert heads to their alone time, it's because they've worn out every ounce of energy reserve and need to recharge. I imagine it can get confusing for both sides.

Do any introverts find that they also have introverted behaviour online?
I don't talk more online generally, but I do find that sometimes even people online wear me down and I don't message people for ages because the thought of interacting with another person just in itself is stressful. Beginning to understand here why I was finding a lot of stress as a knight.

Edan wrote: Do any introverts find that they also have introverted behaviour online?
I don't talk more online generally, but I do find that sometimes even people online wear me down and I don't message people for ages because the thought of interacting with another person just in itself is stressful. Beginning to understand here why I was finding a lot of stress as a knight.

Well, how frequently do you guys typically see me post threads/responses around the temple?

Edan wrote: Do any introverts find that they also have introverted behaviour online?
I don't talk more online generally, but I do find that sometimes even people online wear me down and I don't message people for ages because the thought of interacting with another person just in itself is stressful. Beginning to understand here why I was finding a lot of stress as a knight.

Yup, definitely.

Proteus wrote:

Edan wrote: Do any introverts find that they also have introverted behaviour online?
I don't talk more online generally, but I do find that sometimes even people online wear me down and I don't message people for ages because the thought of interacting with another person just in itself is stressful. Beginning to understand here why I was finding a lot of stress as a knight.

Well, how frequently do you guys typically see me post threads/responses around the temple?

I don't always find threads too bad because there's no expectation i will reply... Chat though, Skype, pms etc where the conversation is continual, is the area I have issues with.

Aqua wrote: If there is one thing to say about my energy flow is that I take time to boil, and that I cool down fast. If boiling water is looking for me when I am frozen.. all my energy starts to evaporate at first contact.. :blink:
I avoid weird dancing parties, music events, crowds of people, and pretty much anything that forces me to interact fast. I rarely undertake to visit people for example, including own family. When I get lots of interactions I am highly able to flee the scene..

One of the things I notice when looking to introvert and extrovert types, extroverts absorbs energy and introverts gives energy. Even though both can be found in a person, some prefer one side. And other people like both.. Not sure why people prefer a part of themselves over their other part.. It may say something about how we deal with ourselves, when we put our focus on the individual?