Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones...

Maybe you're right, Adi, it might have had nothing to do with us.

But about the "what makes a real Jedi" issue, that seems to be the main problem about the way we treat each other here, so I think it's relevant. So prepare yourself, a major exaggerate metaphor coming up...

..Do we want civil war, or a rebellion against the ways of Jediism?

The second one sounds better to me, because at least you're not turning on your friends about minor disagreements in personal belief.

(spoiler due to it being off topic)

Ryder wrote: Maybe you're right, Adi, it might have had nothing to do with us.

But about the "what makes a real Jedi" issue, that seems to be the main problem about the way we treat each other here, so I think it's relevant. So prepare yourself, a major exaggerate metaphor coming up...

..Do we want civil war, or a rebellion against the ways of Jediism?

The second one sounds better to me, because at least you're not turning on your friends about minor disagreements in personal belief.

My point is there doesn't need to be a "What makes a real Jedi" conversation. It's not up to me to decide who is or isn't a Jedi or what that definition is. It's only up to me to decide what kind of a Jedi I want to be. Anyone can disagree with me all they want, even friends don't agree with me 100% on all of my personal beliefs. "Well that works for you, cool! But I do it this way". Or even "C'mon, look at this here unreasonable part....there's a discrepancy here" then I get to change my idea or not but I don't mark anyone as "friend" unless I can trust them with my soul so they're unlikely to simply turn on me for something like that

Okay. I see the point of this thread now, to encourage people to accept each other. Truth be told, I haven't seen much of that lately.

EDIT: Myself included.

I'm cautiously double-dipping into this topic that I actually didn't wish to post on more than once, but there is one more thought I would like to share if you (the reader) are interested in hearing.

This being the internet, people are coming in from many parts of the world, different cultures (not just by country but by different social sub-cultures within those countries). From those cultures, we all have developed different paradigms of seeing the world and absorbing the way others around us respond to our world.

"You're not being Jedi" is one product of this.

Does this sound familiar?

"You're not being very Christian"

This is one of dozens of different artifacts of paradigms that we all bring into the temple.

The thing is...

One of the big positions behind the purpose of our movement is that of "unlearning what you've learned" or "shedding" some of the impulses of these artifacts through time.

The thing to keep in mind is... we ALL have these artifacts. And they aren't necessarily bad. When they are used toward another person, that person may or may not understand the reality of what is going on. If they do not understand, they will respond impulsively with their own habitual reaction according to the paradigm that they came into the temple with. If they have come to understand, then they may feel compelled to respond according to that paradigm, but they may have a chance of stopping and realizing that the person who spoke with their own conditioning is just doing what they think is normal and natural according to their paradigm of reality. Realizing this means that there will be no reason to shame them, to point fingers, or to lash. Instead, it can give one a chance to approach them in a more understanding manner that depicts an acceptance and compassion, while using that acceptance and compassion to gently redirect their position into one with better understanding. But this requires foregoing ANY of the typical context of "you don't understand, i do", "you're incorrect", "how dare you!", "that's not very Jedi", etc etc. You have to understand, we all experience this. It is nobody's fault. It is simply the nature of the world we live in and this is the effect it has on us. THAT is the understanding that might do some good to bring into Any discussion about the social etiquette of being Jedi.

I hope that makes sense...

There's something that I've learnt to do which is quite hard to do online but is not completely impossible I think.

The group I spend time with away from TOTJO do something that I've heard call 'witnessing'... that is, when they listen to someone they take themselves out of the picture in order to 'witness' the life of the person they are talking to. It's stops you from listening just to speak, because at that moment the only person that matters in the conversation is the speaker. It's harder to do online, because there's no observable behaviour, no eye contact, no voice.. but I think it's still possible if you take the time to remember that the people we speak to are a human beings. Take yourself out for a moment, slow down your reading of their response, and try and feel why they are responding that way. I think it helps...

Edan wrote: There's something that I've learnt to do which is quite hard to do online but is not completely impossible I think.

The group I spend time with away from TOTJO do something that I've heard call 'witnessing'... that is, when they listen to someone they take themselves out of the picture in order to 'witness' the life of the person they are talking to. It's stops you from listening just to speak, because at that moment the only person that matters in the conversation is the speaker. It's harder to do online, because there's no observable behaviour, no eye contact, no voice.. but I think it's still possible if you take the time to remember that the people we speak to are a human beings. Take yourself out for a moment, slow down your reading of their response, and try and feel why they are responding that way. I think it helps...

Can i have this framed ? That is really an amazing way to learn how to really listen ! How to really put yourself aside and get to the core of what the other person is saying because your own "rubbish"is not in the way , excellent, thanks for sharing this with us Edan !