Advice for Someone Caring for someone with Depression?

OB1,
He lacks the motivation to do very much at all. I want to encourage getting out and involved, but I'm not sure how hard to push him to do so. He just wants to numb it out with TV most days after work. I'm thinking a gaming group might work.

yeah its tough - probably wont be able to push him into anything - but maybe if you were involved in something you might be able to pull him along?

gaming might be ok - i dont want to give too much specific "advice" because i dont know him or you and im not a mental health professional

i know that video games at least can have a negative side effect of acting as way of staying isolated because we can get entertainment and stimulation that doesnt requite direct interaction with others

maybe a COMMUNITY like you said, would be good

and anything is better than nothing i guess

Being active is one of the best things that you can do for depression. Even walking in the sunlight for 10 minutes can help. I worjed in Mental heakth for 10 years, later I developed depression myself. I had to apply the same techniques that work, toyself. To get outside for a while, I chose to work on the garden and to care for it. It helped to reconnect with myself and the world. To look outside of myself. Yes, meds help, but we must also be active in our approach. If you like football, go see a game. If you love fishing, fish for a while. All if this helps you to reconnect once again.
Maybe you could take him out for picnics, anything to help get him out.
Does he identify what may be affecting him? Its important to be aware of any causes and totry and find alternate coping strategies.

Medication can be a part time thing or a person may require medication on a permant basis. Either way, meds are only apart of the answer.
I am more than happy to chat with you anytime you want to bounce anything off me, Pm me anytime.

As someone who suffers from depression (though I'm being treated for it and mostly defeated it) taking away his options (such as throwing out clothes) won't help. He needs to make the choice, with some strong encouragement to GET OUT. I know that's easier said than done. When I was at my worst, I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, and I most certainly didn't want to talk about it. But the more I escaped from the house and just did some moving (walking, as Walkaboutman suggested) I felt quite a bit better.

Unfortunately, I was not helped completely until I found the right medication. It's not something I'm fond of, but I know that I wouldn't be in as good a shape as I am without it. It cleared my head, made me realize I have a life to live, that people care about me and don't want to see me suffer. Show him love, as much as you can possibly give. Don't leave him alone if you can help it. Don't smother him either though or he might get overwhelmed.

I'd be happy to talk more about this if you want to PM me. I have a lot of personal experiences that I'd like to share with you, just not publicly.

Thank you all for your help!! What would you suggest as something that helped motivate you? Also, I need to help him form some support networks and talk to him about being sure we have the meds right; did you find you needed to change them periodically? How can I encourage walking... I go, and invite him, but I'd have to argue with him to get him to do so and that's definitely counter to my intent:) Should we start with meds review or try something else first? Thanks again all!!

I should add, it was absolutely right that there are definitely other things to worry about than clothes; on top of the depression his mother is passing so he's grieving. It was...a reaction to feeling overwhelmed on my part and feeling totally out of control and needing *something* to do, and worried about my mom's reaction and it was not the right way to go. So I'm letting it lie and just focusing on letting him know he's loved no matter what:) I'm trying to focus on getting his siblings to support him more, too, as they'll understand best what they're going through... Hopefully that will help. I'm thankful for all the support I've found here too and happy to talk anytime to anyone of you in PM!

Is there a support group for either or both of you?

I am a survivor. Physically, I should be dead. Spiritually I am alive. Emotionally, I am the change in the cycle. No matter the fail, I survive. Some reminders of failing bring me down. We all hurt, Regardless of level or intensity. In nature, life has to start with the most smallest thing sometimes. It's the consistent faithfulness that some times finds favor. The small chinks in my change were deeply influenced by the faithfulness I found when I thought I was all alone. Do not stop loving your husband. It is a very hard thing to say and a more difficult task to do and.... and... and... the most beneficial.
Tooth paste on a tooth tooth brush already for me , there every day as a reminder.
Music in the restroom
Comics in the restroom
Notes in the restroom
Aka hit him with what you got early in his day. Give him room to be and to do somthing diffrent...
Don't give in to the thought that it's permanent.
Depression is not permanent.

Keep on friend. You are the reason love exist. Share what lives in you with the people who need the most, our very own loved ones. You have a wonderful opportunity in a dark time to shine bright. Be the light! It will be work but it will be worth it! I believe you can...I believe your example will be a great example of love and patience and understanding to every one who sees and hears. May the Force be with you!

Look up something called the spoon story. It's told from the perspective of someone with an autoimmune disorder, but I've never seen a more effective way to explain living with disabilities that leave you feeling drain (including depression) in my entire life.


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Rickie, I wish; we definitely need to work more on that. Right now I am essentially it...I'm in the process of at least getting his family more supportive and looking into support groups.