Having some issues

Did you not say you do not know why your parents died before 50?

Knowledge is missing!

Understanding is missing!

Peace of mind is missing!

Connor Lidell wrote: Very good advice from everybody.

So, I have another question. If I ignore this situation, and just ask her to leave me alone, is that a solution that will hurt her or hurt me?

That's not a one or the other kind of solution. It is one that would hurt you both. See, I did have a relation with my biological father, but I never got to form a relationship with my biological siblings. My biological father isn't the best person in the world, and while I have found one sibling, he now apparently has a close relationship with our father. I do see much of our father in him, and that to me is scary. So the likelihood of ever having a good relationship with him is extremely low. And to me, that is quite sad. I can only imagine how he feels in return.

We may not know what the situation behind your adoption was, but as one adopted kid to another, if your sister seems to be a good person, then I would say giving the relationship a chance purely for the sake of the relationship would be a very good idea. It may not work out in the end, but your are family.

Connor Lidell wrote:

Phortis Nespin wrote: You must face your fears, you must face yourself! No matter what the outcome. You will never truly know yourself if a part of you is missing.

This has nothing to do with fear, I think.

And, I don't understand why a part of myself is missing. That doesn't make any sense.

No part of you is missing. You are a complete person. Your desires may be giving you a feel of lacking. Keep your desires in check and proceed with caution. Your health history may be better served with one of those DNA screaning tests they advertise. Do good things, live well, use the time you have wisely. It is what it is, it will be what it will be. Peace

Connor Lidell wrote: Hey!

I thought I would come to my temple for advice.

A while back, my birth sister (I'm adopted) found me on Myspace (yeah, when it was still useful). We kind of talked for a while, but then she tried to pressure me into seeing my dying birth mother. She was going to die a few weeks later, and I didn't want to craft that kind of emotional baggage. So, I stopped talking to Amber (my sister).

Fast forward three years. She's now found me on Facebook, and is trying to reconnect with me.

I don't know how I feel about this whole thing... to be honest. There's a part of me that wishes to be friendly with her. There's another part that wants to not open up that can of worms.

Is there a way to handle this that would be healthiest for everybody?

Thanks for your perspective and help.

I haven't read all the comments so I apologize if I am repeating previous comments.

That being said I only have this to say:

Your beef (frustrations and mostly anger) is not with your sister. It is with your parents. She is as innocent as you are in all this. She just needs to know she still has family in this world. I look at your avatar Connor Lidell and I see a Jedi, why not be a brother to a sister and help her heal?

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.
Ernest Hemingway

Blood is thicker than mud...
Blood is love.
All we got is us.

Connor, thank you for presenting this concern to the Temple and your faith in us.

We seek to console others when they are needing consolation, and perhaps this is her way of trying to find something she perceives as stable. The Force has guided her to you, not once but twice. What does your heart say about the situation? What is she trying to gain from this communication? Perhaps some contemplative meditation may help you find the answers you seek within yourself.

In the end, you will choose what is best for you.

May the Force be with you both,

Archon

Connor Lidell wrote: Very good advice from everybody.

So, I have another question. If I ignore this situation, and just ask her to leave me alone, is that a solution that will hurt her or hurt me?

There is no right decision or wrong decision here. Let your true will reveal itself and follow it.

Or, in the words of Oracle in Matrix: "You aren't here to make a choice, you've already made a choice. You just need to understand why"

There are many nuggets of truth within each of the replies...your sister did not abandon you to adoption, your parents did ...they may or may not have had a good reason for doing so...had they not we likely wouldn't have the conner we have now...your sister just lost her parents and is reaching out for the only family she knows she has, family is our support structure and there are many types of family...

It seems to me you both can benefit from developing a friendship, she reconnects with lost family and you gain information...

Connor Lidell wrote: Actually, I kind of want to know how to not die before 50 without having to create a relationship with my birth sister.

Connor, you ARE related! You may not have any feelings for her, nor should you necessarily, but there is no denying that there is a relationship there. You have something in common, and are therefore connected. Talking, and getting to know each other doesn't have to mean that you are all of a sudden going to become brother and sister. In other words, your relationship can be as friendly or as familial as you wish. If you are looking for information, then that is fine. I'm sure that she is looking for information about you!

Whatever your feelings are about your adoption, your birth sister is simply a person with whom you share parents. Parents that you didn't know. There doesn't have to be any sort of emotional baggage, except that which you carry yourself. Just be honest and open. Tell her if you are hesitant, or resentful. Just treat her like another human being. Accept her for what she is, and accept what you have in common.

I can't know what your feelings are about your situation, but I hope that you are able to allow yourself to explore this part of your life without fear. Life is too short to be motivated by such emotions.

Good luck, Connor, and MTFBWY.