Seeing Red

How does one go about co-existing with something that is so evil that the mere thought of it starts to boil the blood and redden the vision? There is nothing you can do to get away from it, it is everywhere you turn. I had to take a break from the temple for a while for fear that I would end up the worst jedi ever, or at least the most hateful. But I noticed as time went on my problem didn't really get any better, if anything it got worse. Now it's an every day thing.

Any suggestions?

This is a toughy...

Cause we all have our triggers, and honestly, I don't think anyone can answer in one post, or even a dozen...

So, we can try this publicly, or through PM...

Can you tell me/us what it is that upsets you so you see red?

You should really consider taking up Jestor's offer there.
I personally can't do anything to help with your situation mostly because I wouldn't know what to do if you told me things.


I just wish you the best in handling what you are going through - that is making you so upset. Be careful, act carefully, and use all your knowledges about right and wrong to steer you towards the better choices. Overall, take care. And try talking to one of the Jedi Masters here.

This is not a personal response, but just to the conditions you describe as I might approach it.

Maybe a bit of distance from the source and reapproach it with mindfulness that at its root it might be because of judgements I was making about others. SO I'd wonder why I was judging them to allow the emotions to feedback and snowball.

The requirement to judge might link back to some sense of entitlement to make those judgements to begin with. That might come from being part of a closed group trying to stay closed, or some perception of authority over others, or some requirement to demonstrate ones value externally to others. Not so much at a surface level, but at a base level which might not even enter into my awareness of my own thoughts. Whether they are justified or not depends entirely on the circumstances, so to that end I wouldn't begin to judge another person's struggle with such things. I'd perhaps try and question how valid those were to my own spiritual wellbeing, and how effective they were to helping solve any problem which might actually exist. Good luck with it whatever it/they might be.

I touched on this one time...

To practice tkd, I must be presented with tkd practice... To practice piano, I must be exposed to a piano...

So, so lets say I want to, improve my patience, or control my temper, or "hair trigger" response...

It is easy to do, right here, in front of this computer, because my challenges, my, triggers, are not around me...

And I think, "this is easy... Just have to remember to stay cool like this..."

Of course its easy... The is not stress, nothing taking my mind from the task...

But, I dont need to control my temper at the moment... It is not an issue...

Its when the triggers set me off, that I need to practice, and to be honest, like playing a piano, it it the only real time I have to practice...

I have to be exposed to them, to see them for what they are, to understand why they trigger me, and to be able to control my response...

The next time your trigger sets you off, chastise yourself, sure... And redouble your efforts to catch it sooner... Recognize the warning signs...

Every time you practice it, you will get better at it... But dont give up, thinking, "I'll never get this.." Cause its not an issue when you its not a problem...

Does this make sense?

Eventually, hopefully, you will start catching the triggers, quicker and quicker, and then, instead of having to practice to control, you will practice to maintain...

This is how we learn most things...

My anger isnt "under control" yet.. Not to the point where I am satisfied... But, I am a hell of a lot faster on catching it... To an outside observer, it might appear I never get upset or angry...

But, I dont want to control this for the outside observer, I want to control this for my self observation...

I still mostly get irritated with the [strike]idiot[/strike] drivers out there...This is one of my last hurdles... lol...

Im sure I will find a new trigger.... lol...

"Ezekial 25:17 "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men."

That's from the Bible, of course... But in popular fiction, it is also in the best movie ever, "Pulp Fiction"

As soon as you decide to be "good", it seems that temptation, and vice, are everywhere...

As I said further up, we are available by PM if a more private consideration is needed...

Good Luck...

And, enjoy your journey...

Why do you have to co-exist with it, if I can ask?

Thanks for the offers/advice, I started up a correspondence with Senior Knight RyuJin for some insight and help.

Wailliamkaede to answer your question, I'm forced to co-exist because it is a very large force on the entire planet, there is just no way to escape it short of living on an isolated island.

One thing the military did not do was instill a good ability at coping with things you can't change. We're taught to adapt and overcome, never to accept. That's actually part of what brought me here in the first place, I had little to no patience with civilians and it was leading to much anger. Essentially I guess my mind is not compatible with the military mindset, and after so long of forcing myself into the mold it finally started to rebel.

Jestor wrote: I still mostly get irritated with the [strike]idiot[/strike] drivers out there...This is one of my last hurdles... lol...

Got stuck in traffic for 3 hours today...kept thinking back and forth about this post and the video "Hammers and Floodlights".

discordor wrote: Wailliamkaede to answer your question, I'm forced to co-exist because it is a very large force on the entire planet, there is just no way to escape it short of living on an isolated island.

What, human stupidity? Become a misanthrope, buy some boots and a trenchcoat and come join me at the local goth club. We'll show you how to deal with it. While dealing with hate would be assumed as a Jedi option, you'll most likely be taught how to ignore or repress it. Why not channel it and make something useful of it? Impulsion will lead you astray but your emotions will lead you to the truth of yourself.

American goth kids evolved into Emo kids. That's a fate worse than death. The last time I tried to hang out with goth kids I couldn't get past their "I'm so mopey cause daddy didn't buy me a beamer" attitude. I stayed in control enough to walk away from that situation even though I wanted to ridicule those people to no end.

What exactly could you channel a desire for genocide of a population segment into that could possibly be useful? Useful in a legal way of course, I'm not about to just start blasting away at people...yet.