Seeing Red

Not having patience with civilians is a common thing among ex military. when we get discharged we go from having everything organized and ordered to chaos and disorder...from close knit brotherhood to disconnected back stabbers...it takes time for us to readjust and sadly some never do...it took me a couple of years...it can be done though...as far as "ignoring" or "repressing" hate...you don't, you learn to embrace it, accept it, understand it, and in time it will wither....while it can give strength in the short term it causes more harm than good even if it's used for good, and the strength it gives is short lived...

discordor wrote: American goth kids evolved into Emo kids. That's a fate worse than death. The last time I tried to hang out with goth kids I couldn't get past their "I'm so mopey cause daddy didn't buy me a beamer" attitude.

Vile heresy. Self-entitled emo brats. There's still a Goth movement out there, just need to find it.

I never considered the idea of military personnel becoming institutionalized. That's an interesting thought.

Mayhaps what you see as chaos, is really just freedom. The same freedom America and its military stands for. If everything and everyone were strict and regimented like the military, it qoild be closer to a militant/fascist state than the land of the free.

Also, the word you're looking for is xenocide or sociocide. Civvies aren't an ethnicity.

Man, I keep re-writing this post so I am just going to plug away and hopefully I'll answer with tact and organized thought.

Where I work I deal with some rather...difficult people with customers and co-workers. I find myself getting annoyed and angry, even bitter at times. I may fall asleep and forget about it, but it goes day in and day out - which to say it is unhealthy to feel such a way because it is essentially stressful to me. I find that it is sometimes because I am intolerant towards certain behaviors because to me those behaviors are very offensive. If I speak up, I would loose my job, yay for customer service. So I find myself smiling as sweetly as I can. I actually snapped the other day which has lead me to the realization of how angry of a person I am due to this intolerance.

To say it gets easier in time, I think, would be...wrong in some ways. I am working on learning to deal with my anger now that I am aware of this silent companion of mine. I actually channel my anger sometimes by running around the block several times, yet if I am work, what can I do? Actually while I am at work is when I need to be more mindful of myself. Being mindful is not all of it and I am still trying to figure out the best way to ease the anger. The process that goes through my head becomes, that was an angry thought. I feel angry even though there is no reason for this. There is no reason to be angry/annoyed over this. I breathe in and out and just tell myself to let it go and to not be riled up anymore.

My good friend told me "Fight their anger with love/compassion." This friend went on to tell me that anger is my response towards what I need and what I value. He told me I am also being judgmental at times for what people should and should not do because of what I value. In the end for me, it is more about awareness and being clear about what is making me angry. I cannot tell a person who I deal with less than two minutes that they offend me. I smile, I be mindful, I let go and move on with my day. I just accept that I am angry and then like the wind, let it blow away. It has made everything easier in my relationships and made my life more peaceful and stress-less. It is still far from perfect, the hardest hurdle will be my home life. My home life drives me crazy, whoever I live with besides my boyfriend get on my nerves.

The only good anger has done me is that it really gets me moving, I run, I dance, and sometimes I throw myself into artwork. I focus this excess energy of anger that is boiling into something else, transforming this anger. I miss living in the woods with my parents because when I am angry, I go take a walk or hug a tree and I already feel so much better. I live in the city now so it is not so easy.

Williamkaede wrote: While dealing with hate would be assumed as a Jedi option, you'll most likely be taught how to ignore or repress it.

Yes, there is a chance that this would happen...

Just depends on the teacher...

I would hope that a qualified teacher wouldn't teach someone to suppress it,bit it could happen...

Myself, I simply show why hate doesn't/shouldn't exist...

Why not channel it and make something useful of it? Impulsion will lead you astray but your emotions will lead you to the truth of yourself.

Why hold onto it?

I have yet to find a good example of emotion working out better than logic..

Not that the possibility doesn't exist, I just can't recall any...

Repressing emotions is never good. It is more likely to beat you up and bite you hard then facing it right away. A proper teacher should never teach to repress the emotions. I think it is okay to distance yourself at times when you need to function. I guess the best example of is if you are in customer service or a salesman, you have to put your grief or your anger aside to do your job correctly. But that is not so much as repressing it.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is, "This too shall pass." This moment of anger, it will fade away. A week from now I will not even remember why I was so angry. I got annoyed today because a certain someone blew out the speakers in my car, which is a sin to me, because I love bass music. Yet, to be honest, there is no reason to stay angry at all. It happened, I could not have prevented it, no need to become violent in words towards the other person. There is no reason to hold onto this anger. If I hold onto my anger it becomes a grudge because so-and-so blew out my speakers. Is that really worth getting into arguments, fighting, and treating this person different because of what they did? Is this an unforgivable action? Not really, they are human like me.

That is a lot of what it comes down for me. This person is human. So am I. We make mistakes and we are completely different. I know that no one will make the same decision even if in the same situation. I know we all come from different experiences. If I am angry at a customer, I try and find one thing I like about them, what they are wearing, their hairstyle, even if it is just the physical, I am trying to bring out a part of me that recognizes that they to are human and that they too are worthy of love/compassion. That this person I do not need to be angry at.

It is like saying that Hitler is completely evil. Yes, we do have one version of it. Yet there are qualities to Hitler that can be admired. Look at what he managed to bring out of his political struggle. He really brought the disaster of economics his country was in, to something glorifying. In the end what he did with that power because of his anger towards the Jews (because of them in the banking system) and what he did to other minorities is not good, but there are still qualities to him that are good and should be admired. He should be admired up till the point of what he managed to accomplish economically. His National Socialist ideals were very interesting and even somewhat close to what I understand except up until the point where it tells you to say within the culture and don't marry out of your culture.

But now I am probably rambling so this is where I end off.