"Age-ism" Discussion

b.murphy wrote: I must say 10 years ago when i was only 16 i felt the same way. With that said, i will also say that since i have become a parent of two myself, it is completely different now. Growing up my parents were, what i thought strict. Looking at how my wife and i deal with our 4 year old daughter, i feel fascist. But, it is out o love and caring that i am so strict with her, and i will be until the die i die.

Actually, Murphy, I never said I was against adults being strict to their children. (Where did you get that idea?) Strictness (generally speaking) is a type of neutral (unoffensive) demeanor, and can be a form of respect and care. What I'm against are poor adult attitudes, notably arrogance - "I'm the adult, the enlightened one, and you're just a stupid kid with a brain of mush" sort of thing.

Ok, with that out of the way, i will also say that i do believe that every person develops at a different speed. The maturity of m sisters was far ahead of my own, my one sister was only 1.5 years ahead of me, but in maturity she was really 8-9. Often time’s people forget to take into account the maturity lvl of the one they are talking to. You could very well be ahead of people your own age, and those older then you are just putting you into a stereotype. I hope this helps.

Yes, I agree with this. I think it's a good point.

ren wrote: 1. I support it. I think children should be discriminated against and old people have additional rights. My line of thought is very meritocratic, and age is a basic, effective legal way of defining merit. Children havent done anything to merit anything, adults sort of have, old people as far as I'm concerned can be as crazy and moany as they want, walk around naked if they will (because they've earned it).
2. I don't think I've been discriminated against in an "unfair" way. Discrimination is usually regarded as unfair. I think that the meritocratic model is the fairest, and although age-based discrimination is not the most adequate, it is the most achievable. It is unfair yet the fairest we can achieve. (we practice it at totjo actually).
3. I think the only ageism that should be looked into is that of working-age people. Unless there is discrimination based on health grounds for important tasks (driving, piloting a plane, etc), I think it is wrong to discriminate against older working-age people.

Well, that's Ren speaking, so what else could I expect? :silly:

Metsu Desal wrote:
Just because you're "older" doesn't mean you're "wiser" yes you might have more life experience but it doesn't make you more mature, it doesn't make you any more of an adult...


Here's a key example...

A girl has to raise her brothers and sisters because her parents are very ill, this would obviously mature her, she's 20 years old and has the responsibilities of a 30-40yr old...

A woman who's 30-40 has no responsibilities, lives at home, has no boyfriend, goes out clubbing and doesn't have to worry about anything...

So there for the 20 year old could be wiser but who are we to judge either women?

Good point.

...as for respect your elders, I agree, you should give them "respect" in the sense that you listen to them, you don't always have to do as they say either...Just because they're older does not mean they know all the facts...I've found with some the older generation are very stuck in their ways and won't listen to anyone elses opinion and brush it off as stupid and uneducated...

And I believe in respect and listening of elders.

"Nearly all religions in the world promote "respect your elders", and while this is initially a sensible concept, to maintain order and survival in all societies, I feel that many adults in my life have used this as an excuse to be (what I may refer to this all as) "verbally abusive" to their children."

It's just when certain adults behave in disrespectful ways that I begin to show disrespect for them.


Respect is a "two-way road": you should respect if you get respected.

Overall, (after reading everyone's posts here) I have come to the realization that perhaps my own loathe of age-ism is probably a personal one. Moreover,
I think that I may have an atypical or abnormal amount of loathe for age-ism because I've taken it personally for so many years. While most kids (who would be in my type of situation) would just brush it off, take no personal deep offense, or think nothing of it,
(Adult: Stupid kid.
Kid:....Stupid adult.
PERIOD.)

I personally was bothered by it (for 10+ years) which is why I feel the way I do now.

I personally think the best thing for me to do, to get over my feelings of loathe, is to
forgive, but not forget.

To forget is to become a hypocrite. But to forgive should show character. Anyway, that's my thoughts on this matter for now.

that seems like a very wise decision. and you are right that perhaps most just shrug it off, i am always way to happy no matter what the circumstance, but your situation could also be unique, my parents never talked down to me, even at the age of 5 they would sit me down and talk to me like i was an adult. i know this may be a stupid question but have you sat them down and talked to them about it?

When I was a kid/teenager I always thought I was very wise and mature for my age. It used to really frustrate me when I thought that adults were dismissing things I said because of my age.

When I look back now, I realise that I was not at wise as I thought. Yes, you can be mature compared to others your age, but that doesn't mean that you can always contribute productively to adult discussions. Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't...depends on what is being discussed...

Of course, I've not exactly been an adult long even now. But I'm not saying that I can look back on myself with hindsight because I'm now incredibly wise, because I'm not...I'm just saying that I now recognise that age (i.e. amount of life experience) does sometimes play a part in what you can contribute to discussions.

I still find, at the grand old age of 22, that sometimes my opinion seems to get discounted or ignored. But it's not personal...I don't get offended by it any more...because I just accept that perhaps the person I'm talking to has been on this Earth twice as long as me, and through personal experience they quite possibly have a perfectly good reason to dismiss what I'm saying.

I think we can only get angry/upset/offended about being treated as though our thoughts and opinions don't matter, if we attach a lot of importance to them. All we can do it put them across, make it clear that they are important to us personally, but not presume that they will be important to someone else. Through recognising that usually what we think isn't a matter of life and death, we can see that it doesn't really matter if someone disregards us, and just move on without dwelling on it and allowing our feelings to be hurt

b.murphy wrote: that seems like a very wise decision. and you are right that perhaps most just shrug it off, i am always way to happy no matter what the circumstance, but your situation could also be unique, my parents never talked down to me, even at the age of 5 they would sit me down and talk to me like i was an adult.

That's very responsible, fair, and nice of them. Really, it all comes down to individual attitude. As in all adults can instruct children (this is expected and understood) but only some do it properly and some do it really improperly.

i know this may be a stupid question but have you sat them down and talked to them about it?

Yes. Do you think it worked...?