Monogamy - Should Jedi Follow Society's Rules?

When Monogamy Is a Cop-Out: Why Follow Society's Rules About Sex?

By Robert Levithan, The Good Men Project

Posted on September 18, 2011, Printed on September 19, 2011


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© 2011 The Good Men Project All rights reserved.

View this story online at: http://www.alternet.org/story/152455/

'Ho, boy!' Kendalina groaned. If anyone knew the opinions hers and the other's author held on relationships, it was her. She was not looking forward to the storm Jack was fated to unleash.

Jack remained quiet.

'What? No Hurricane Katrina?'

Jack shrugged.

"I've kinda come to accept that I'm probably not going to have an extended relationship with anyone -- monogamous or not. I mean, geez -- in terms of all of the brainchildren I've had, if the stories and creators that fueled you guys could be considered relationships, I'm just an outright whore." Kendalina blinked at her author, "So far, my brain has slept with Stephen King, William Shakespeare, George Orwell, Ray Bradbury, George Lucas, Bob Kane, Kaori Yuki, CLAMP, Mikiyo Tsuda, Hayao Miazaki, and that's just to name a few. How could I possibly be exclusive in any physical relationships?"

Kendalina relaxed and rolled backwards.

'Eh. Whatever, I guess then.'

monogamy is useful. That's all there is to it. Where there is more or less 50% males 50% females, it's ideal when it comes to public order. control over the spread of diseases. Enough parents to give a balanced education, more than enough parents to give mixed signals (mom says no dad says yes situations). For guys, it means only one person bitches at home, which is a major advantage dispite certain disadvantages regarding physiological needs.

After that, with a majority of females polygyny makes sense, with a majority of males polyandry makes sense.

I have myself had a menage a trois experience, and, the older i get, the more i despise the society I live in, so I really don't give a shit what people thought back then or think now.

There is something else I've encountered in the Jedi community, quite unique, a 4 person "couple" with 2 males 2 females. they had kids too. They were at JRC I think.

Monogamy for me makes sense. It is a beautiful, demanding, enriching experience. I am proud to say I`m happily married since 7 years now. I certainly do not see my marriage to one person as having to follow a set of rules or Laws. It is my choice. I see polygamy rather as an easier way out, "screw" someone else when the mood takes you. Thing is that the likelihood that one of those sex partners will at some point or another feel "screwed" is very likely. A relationship is not just about ejaculating after intercourse but about feelings, especially where children are involved.

I am not the jealous type...

I've had two wives cheat on me, I've cheated on various girlfriends as a young man... (I'm an old fart now...

As ren has pointed out, it definatly means less bitching...

As Sapadu has alluded to, we still keep looking, albeit not actively for most...

I still look at pretty females, look at handsome males...

But the relationship I am now in, I have grown into... With all the yelling and screaming, hurt feelings, things said in the heat of the moment, experiences shared...

And I could start again... If this wife wants another relationship, I could definatly handel it now without the binge drinking... really screw some stuff up after the other two, prolly wouldn't have been with number 2,

We joke, I have had "work wives", a female who has a relationship with me in the workplace, no sex mind you, where we discuss kids, bills, houses, coworkers, partners, whatever...

Men too, I now work pretty much side by side with a male, I'm not attracted to him, but we discuss wives, our job, people in common, ideas on religion...

These people, all form relationships with me, and I with them...

I can see the argument for monagamy, as it helps us to grow... learn mature, evolve mentally..

I can see the argument against it as well, for more seeds spread, the better the chance of survival... Our physical evolution, better genes, cuter, stronger, heathier...

But monogamy is not defined as sex with one person, it is defined as a commitment to one person... A marriage, partnership, relationship...

Sex is a part for sure, but there are many people in a relationship who do not get to have sex, or no longer have sex...

If I have sex, with one person (and they singularly with me), the rest of my life, no other form of a relation, seperate in everyway, is the relationship still called monogamous? I do not shared stories, life or anything, just a 'booty call'...

I think, that cheating begins in many forms, if the person with me, does not provide what I am looking for, mentally, physically, or spiritually, then I will find someone who will...

Fourtunatly, I have a low sex drive, I've had oppourtunaty with men and women alike, and been close, been very close, but never crossed the line after marriage... The relationship I was looking for was a mental one, reaching for the intellectual stimulation in a more specific direction that was not provided by the one I am with...

In my head, as I write this, I keep wanting to say does it matter, I keep saying 'Who am I to judge', I could erase all this, but I think I'll leave it...

Do no harm, to yourself, or another... Do your best... Consider your actions... If everyone envolved is cool with the situation, have at it...

idk...

uh, quick reminder: polygamy is nothing like having a mistress.
Polygamy has to do with marriage, that is, in these modern times, pretty serious relationships, certainly not a booty call or cheating.

We joke, I have had "work wives", a female who has a relationship with me in the workplace, no sex mind you, where we discuss kids, bills, houses, coworkers, partners, whatever...

Men too, I now work pretty much side by side with a male, I'm not attracted to him, but we discuss wives, our job, people in common, ideas on religion...

Those aren't wives Jestor but friends.

I can see the argument against it as well, for more seeds spread, the better the chance of survival...

The greater the chance of inbreeding too...

I checked, what those guys at JRC were doing is polyamory... I think swinging would fall under that.

the likelihood that one of those sex partners will at some point or another feel "screwed" is very likely

Isn't that the point of sex? :laugh:

I find myself pretty much comprehensively agreeing with the author.

Do that which makes you happy and hinder none who do the same.

I could sit here and write out a thought filled post but I am going to make this short and sweet.

Monogamy is best for me, You do what is best for you.

May the Force be with You All

Those aren't wives Jestor but friends.

I know that ren...:laugh:

I said we joke about it....

But what is my wife? But my best friend?

The greater the chance of inbreeding too...

Don't pick up dates at family functions.... Note to self...:woohoo:

I had another thought. If you are interested in the polygamist lifestyle then go with it. Your marriage does not have to be a "legal" marriage, what I am trying to say is that you can be married spiritually but never fill out the government paperwork. You would still be married where it matters, this is unless your just after the tax and insurance advantages.