The most amazing thing!!

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5 years 3 weeks ago #335202 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!
Self-improvement is just a tool to be leveraged against suffering. Suffering in yourself, suffering in your family or social circle, suffering in your neighborhood or community, your country, some other country etc. It takes a lot of effort and time to create this tool, and maintain its effectiveness. It's really nice to have the tool for yourself, because it requires no further effort to benefit you other than possessing it/maintaining it. It takes extra effort to use the tool to help those around you. The easiest folks to reach with the tool are those you see most frequently, your family, friends, coworkers etc. It makes sense why folks around here tend to focus on their families and their careers. They can be more useful there. A giant amount of time, effort, and personal risk are involved the further out you get trying to help people.

Self-improvement can be had in many forms, which is great, people need different experiences. Some people benefit from meditation, some people prefer reading books, some people need experiences in their own life to grow. Just because it doesn't work for you, or you don't see the benefit in it, doesn't mean that it doesn't benefit another. Whatever it is, use it, and don't just waste it on yourself. Don't watch the world burn while you're holding a fire extinguisher.

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5 years 3 weeks ago #335204 by Manu
Replied by Manu on topic The most amazing thing!!
I would not be who I am today had it not been for the positive influence of my family, both my nuclear and my extended family. The decisions they made echoed into eternity, through me.

Statistically speaking, people who come from “broken” families, families with one or both parents absent, parents with little education, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc., have a higher than average probability of ending up in similar disastrous, delinquent situations. Determinism can’t be used as an excuse, there are exceptions, but the impact of environment cannot be ignored.

Because of this, the single most important thing anyone can do to “change the world” for the better is to be a positive influence in their immediate “family”, especially in roles that demand leadership (parenting), but also in a supportive role, as a brother, sister, uncle or niece.

That is where it starts, and it is my number one concern personally. From there, it stretches out, extending the “circle” of who you count as family, and being the supportive big brother or the caring little sister of people who are not blood relatives, but that count on you as part of their support network (which is what I believe mentorship should serve as here).

I do agree with your point about waiting on end for a “something” to come along and get me moving. A host of childhood stories and the influence of religion with its burning shrubs and angels, predisposed me to think that whenever I found “The Thing” it would hit me in an unmistakeable feeling of euphoria-soaked epiphany.

Sharpening the sword endlessly makes no sense if you never actually set out to use it.

The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
The realist adjusts the sails.
- William Arthur Ward
The following user(s) said Thank You: Carlos.Martinez3

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5 years 3 weeks ago #335208 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote: Self-improvement has become a meaningless phrase. It has become something that it was never intended to be. Everyone is on the train to improve themselves these days and they are doing this by searching for that one thing, that one key that will change everything in their lives. They put their lives on hold until they find this thing and they go in search of self-appointed self-help gurus and speakers and books and videos and programs and give thousands of dollars to these people and concepts so they can relieve themselves of the responsibility to actually do the work to find the answers themselves. They think " I will just read X book, do what it says and when it works then I can live the life I have always dreamed of".

But the reality of this is that there is no one thing, no one training course or epiphany or title that will ever change your life. There is no quick path to success and there are no shortcuts to effect that change you want to see. Meditation doesn’t do this and training courses here won’t do it nor will the title of knight or senior knight do it. Self-improvement is not something you wait to have happen, it’s not a trick or a gimmick or a technique that you can learn. Self-improvement is a grind, it is a campaign of war against fear and weakens and laziness and temptation. It is a never ending commitment in discipline to produce. Never waiting to live because you feel you’re not ready yet.

The fact is you’re never going to be ready but that doesn’t matter. It should not be an excuse to avoid life. Trying every single second of every single day and making mistakes and always moving forward are how we self-improve. Always striving to live a life of high performance. If you are not feeling anxiety every day you are not doing enough to be outside your comfort zone. If you’re not outside that comfort zone you are not self-improving. Find that sweet spot between internal activation and performance and live there every day. That is how you self-improve.


Didn't realize people were saying it was quick and/or easy anywhere in this thread, or that it was easily found through a book or series of books, or meditation...

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5 years 3 weeks ago #335212 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!

Arisaig wrote: Didn't realize people were saying it was quick and/or easy anywhere in this thread, or that it was easily found through a book or series of books, or meditation...



If you have not realized it then why have you bothered to take the time to comment on it here? Is this some realization you have come to suddenly? Because, quite frankly, I'm just not seeing the evidence of your statement.

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5 years 3 weeks ago #335213 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote:

Arisaig wrote: Didn't realize people were saying it was quick and/or easy anywhere in this thread, or that it was easily found through a book or series of books, or meditation...



If you have not realized it then why have you bothered to take the time to comment on it here? Is this some realization you have come to suddenly? Because, quite frankly, I'm just not seeing the evidence of your statement.


Point missed eh?

I'm making a comment on why you found it important to state the obvious? If self improvement was easy and quick, everyone would be excellent versions of themselves.

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5 years 3 weeks ago #335214 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!

Arisaig wrote: I'm making a comment on why you found it important to state the obvious? If self improvement was easy and quick, everyone would be excellent versions of themselves.[/color]


I have stated the obvious? How so? I dont believe anyone here in this thread has said anything about self improvement being quick and easy. So Im just not seeing the relevance of your statement?

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5 years 3 weeks ago - 5 years 3 weeks ago #335215 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote:

Arisaig wrote: I'm making a comment on why you found it important to state the obvious? If self improvement was easy and quick, everyone would be excellent versions of themselves.[/color]


I have stated the obvious? How so? I dont believe anyone here in this thread has said anything about self improvement being quick and easy. So Im just not seeing the relevance of your statement?


Jesus, twisting much?

That's literally what I said. 'no one in this thread says it was quick and/or easy'. You stated the obvious by making it seem like people were even hinting at that. I'm agreeing with you. Just wondering why you had to state it as such, and why you seem to be disagreeing with the relevance of this agreement?

But whatever. Done. Keep continuing to twist my words.
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5 years 3 weeks ago - 5 years 3 weeks ago #335220 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!

Arisaig wrote: Jesus, twisting much?

That's literally what I said. 'no one in this thread says it was quick and/or easy'. You stated the obvious by making it seem like people were even hinting at that. I'm agreeing with you. Just wondering why you had to state it as such, and why you seem to be disagreeing with the relevance of this agreement?

But whatever. Done. Keep continuing to twist my words.




LOL ok, lighten up dude, you’re gonna make Jesus cry! I have never implied that people said it would be easy. I said people look for that easy answer and in the process stop actually doing the thing that will improve them. They wait to live! I’m saying that we all need to radically reclaim our lives. Every second you’re not fully embracing, your life is wasted time.

We need to stop working out or trying to lose weight in the hopes that one day, we will be able to do the things we really want to do. Obsessing about finances while imagining that someday we will finally be free from worries to do what we really want. Planning and plotting but never executing while wishing for the approval of others in our lives or waiting for the love of our lives so we can finally start being who we want to be. Chasing the future in these ways is like trying to bottle a mirage and it only serves to rob us of our lives.

Instead of waiting for that opportunity, create that opportunity. We need to start the labors of love in our lives today, NOW! Everything else is meaningless. Like all creatures, we naturally try to avoid pain and seek pleasure. But as humans we have the unique ability to compare and contrast. We have choice and we have the ability to reason. Jealousy allows us to see that something better is out there but fear of failure or lack of confidence in our abilities keeps us from going after it. So instead of executing we just prepare and we defend.

We fantasize about that thing that will come to us without having to undergo the risk of challenge. But life does not work this way. The only perfection you will ever find is not in the future because those perfect circumstance you are waiting for will never materialize. Perfection is only found in the moment, THIS moment, because it contains the perfect opportunity to begin and that’s all you will ever get.
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5 years 3 weeks ago #335222 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!
There’s simply no polite way to tell people they’ve dedicated their lives to an illusion.”

― Daniel Dennett

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5 years 3 weeks ago #335225 by
Replied by on topic The most amazing thing!!

Kyrin Wyldstar wrote:

Arisaig wrote: Jesus, twisting much?

That's literally what I said. 'no one in this thread says it was quick and/or easy'. You stated the obvious by making it seem like people were even hinting at that. I'm agreeing with you. Just wondering why you had to state it as such, and why you seem to be disagreeing with the relevance of this agreement?

But whatever. Done. Keep continuing to twist my words.




LOL ok, lighten up dude, you’re gonna make Jesus cry! I have never implied that people said it would be easy. I said people look for that easy answer and in the process stop actually doing the thing that will improve them. They wait to live! I’m saying that we all need to radically reclaim our lives. Every second you’re not fully embracing, your life is wasted time.

We need to stop working out or trying to lose weight in the hopes that one day, we will be able to do the things we really want to do. Obsessing about finances while imagining that someday we will finally be free from worries to do what we really want. Planning and plotting but never executing while wishing for the approval of others in our lives or waiting for the love of our lives so we can finally start being who we want to be. Chasing the future in these ways is like trying to bottle a mirage and it only serves to rob us of our lives.

Instead of waiting for that opportunity, create that opportunity. We need to start the labors of love in our lives today, NOW! Everything else is meaningless. Like all creatures, we naturally try to avoid pain and seek pleasure. But as humans we have the unique ability to compare and contrast. We have choice and we have the ability to reason. Jealousy allows us to see that something better is out there but fear of failure or lack of confidence in our abilities keeps us from going after it. So instead of executing we just prepare and we defend.

We fantasize about that thing that will come to us without having to undergo the risk of challenge. But life does not work this way. The only perfection you will ever find is not in the future because those perfect circumstance you are waiting for will never materialize. Perfection is only found in the moment, THIS moment, because it contains the perfect opportunity to begin and that’s all you will ever get.


So what I'm hearing is, "release attachment to the past and the future, immerse yourself in the present." Is that correct?

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