Wow! That is a lot to go through and you are very brave to present this online. I had a similar thing happen to me. My husband and I divorced because he went out on me. (Well, and a lot of other things, but this was a major part of it.) In any case, over time I had to deal with the gossip of people who said that divorced women are loose, etc. So I was really in objection to extramarital affairs and considered those who broke trust as the worst offenders of the human race. Fast forward time and it seemed like a demon kept sending married men after me. This was all just going on in my thought life, but the more it happened the more I objected to it and made myself determined to resist it. Finally I fell head over heals in love with a teacher I had who was married. I felt horrible and wanted to die. I had become that which I hated. Something Qui Gon says in Star Wars is "Your focus determines your reality." Now I kind of think that this kept going on because I was so focused on it not happening. Your own thoughts can kind of bring about the very thing you try to keep yourself from if you focus on it too intently. Time went on and I finally allowed myself to process my feelings for the married man and I reached an understanding of myself and why this happened. I allowed myself to be human and learned that feelings can fool you. I didn't even really know this teacher that well. It wasn't love. I learned not to let my feelings deceive me or crucify me with guilt either one. It was one day at a time for quite a while, but I learned to put my focus on other things. Focus on that which is good in your life and the positive in all situations. Then the positive stuff becomes your reality. I do believe there is a spiritual attraction in the world that does attract that which we focus on to us. And it seems to work well for me to keep Qui Gon's teaching in mind.
