The more things change, the more they stay the same ...

Alpha : "Join a dating website... It's the 21st century"
Omega : "that is a futile attempt to engage in people shopping"



It's interesting to think about anyway ...

As someone in a very happy 18-month (and counting) relationship with someone I met on a dating site... I'd like to voice my disagreement

As our Temple demonstrates, virtual interaction can be just as meaningful as physical interaction. It just takes a leap of faith that a digital expression, a digital experience of the Other can be as authentic as a meatspace one.

I don't think the lady was saying Online Dating isn't meaningful.....Just that its not the key to long lasting love. Online Dating is just the "Introduction" phase. Which is true...

My first husband I met online, we talked for two or so years before we actually met got married a year or two after. That relationship died out though...I only married him because our legal systems are beyond Crap and I was unable to get my State ID card because I didn't have 3 forms of ID and marriage licence was the only way I could get my third form.

I met my second husband online. We soon met at the first Michigan Jedi Gathering and it took us about 3 or 4 years before we married. Simply because we didn't care about the whole ceremony and fancy pancy paperwork

Met alot of people online who I am in a relationship with of some sorts. Some romantically others not. But the "Online" part was just a way of finding and getting to know eachother on a common ground....the rest was done in real life, face to face, together.

I have met wonderfull people online , but just like in real life i always seem to walk past the one for me somehow, i am convinced that i already know the love of my life , i just dont know who it is , sounds weird does not it :silly: Anyway...patience i guess the more things have changed , the more they stayed the same indeed loll

Though this be madness, yet there is method in ’t.
~ Polonius, "Hamlet", Act II, Scene ii

So, now let's kick it up a notch ...

Meeting people online may not be the same as searching a dedicated dating site for love. It may be dubbed as an introductory system, but that may not be the point of this. Instead, the pre-conceived intent and expectations of the introduction is where issues begin. Searching a site specifically with a narrowed goal in mind such as to "meet the love of your life" comes with an array of errors from the start. And this is how these websites are advertised. It is a quite similar situation as the topic of the recent School of Life video concerning romantic stories ruining love lives with false information about the nature of finding a partner and how the process of meeting them influences how genuine it will be and how long it will last.

Alexandre Orion wrote:

Though this be madness, yet there is method in ’t.
~ Polonius, "Hamlet", Act II, Scene ii

So, now let's kick it up a notch ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q

I actually really enjoyed the way she spoke and she had alot of good information. But she never really actually arrives to a solid answer I notice. That being Communication. She touches on it but dosn't actually state of it's needfulness.

My husband and I are open in our relationship. He has a couple of affairs while I have none. I have none asides for him simply because I have not found anyone that fullfills what he dosn't.

These affairs of his I tolerate because we are able to talk about them. To communicate and be fully honest about them. I don't tell him what he can and can't do. I simply tell him what I don't like about the affair (The baggage Drama these other girls bring into our lives that has nothing to do with us but strain us because we are all "Friends") He agrees, acknowledges it and takes step to help keep those parts I dont like outside of the home.

It works for us.....Because we communicate and respect boundaries.

There are so many beautiful ways of loving someone and they all involve talking to eachother about eachothers needs and (worst and wonderful ) fantasies and fears , without that , you dont really love , you love the idea of love ...

Alexandre Orion wrote: Alpha : "Join a dating website... It's the 21st century"
Omega : "that is a futile attempt to engage in people shopping"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvvuLDX7iIk

It's interesting to think about anyway ...

Her idea of cognitive overload made me think of the paradox of choice lesson I had a while ago. Online dating isn't fundamentally changing the way that we love, it is giving us more options (sometimes too many) of partners and liaisons. Online dating is changing the way that we date, but I think that the way that each of us individually love, and ultimately who we end up with, is going to remain the same.

Also

Alexandre Orion wrote:

Though this be madness, yet there is method in ’t.
~ Polonius, "Hamlet", Act II, Scene ii

So, now let's kick it up a notch ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q

This one is brilliant. It taught me a lot about the reasons for infidelity. Made me think whether it would be a good idea to go into a monogamous relationship with someone, whether that is even possible.
Isn't the idea of monogomy a bit like attempting to hold on to something we want to be permanent? If we listen to the Buddha we learn that we are not in our current state satisfied. We are always seeking something. The speaker brought up this in her talk when she explained that the partner is not always the person we are turning away from. We are seeking another experience, sometimes another self. So far, I haven't really felt the need for a partner. Not really, but maybe one day I will. I hope I can remember what I have learned here

I thought this was within keeping

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmUayKnHWWM