Playing Nice

I would like, if I may, to take you....on a strange journey.

It seems that a lot of people lately are unhappy with how discussions in the TotJO forum have been going. So I'm proposing this: let's do something about it!

Below, post one (or more, it's up to you) thing that you can do to make discussion more civil, educational, helpful, or otherwise, more Jedi-like. It's like making an unofficial promise.

Personally, I'm going to do my best to not take things too personally when discussing, and pick my fights more carefully.

This isn't about stifling opinions, or avoiding conflict, but about making sure that the social and academic lubricant is flowing freely so that our discussions can remain smooth and respectful, while still challenging ourselves and others to be better, wiser Jedi.

Otherwise,we are but crawling on the planet's face, some insects called the human race. Lost in time. And lost in space... and meaning.

I'm going to try and never leave an answer that leaves people thinking....

:woohoo: :laugh:

Self censorship.

I'm going to consider whether my words in the forum align with how I interpret the Doctrine here before I post. If my words don't fit with the better Jedi I am trying to be, they are likely better left unsaid.

I'm going to float above the fray. Like a golden cloud in an azure colored sky. Or something

I am going to ask myself if my comments/questions actually further the discussion at hand.

I shall do my utmost to present my thoughts as my thoughts alone and to be unaccusatory.
I shall remember my promise when I respond, specifically: "I shall ever safe-keep progression and lessen distress....I shall not seek to change any being..."

Before hitting that reply button, spend some time processing what you think you want to reply with privately, either just to yourself or with a trusted friend/mentor/TM. What you will say is usually similar to all the stormy thoughts that float through your head while meditating. Spend time letting those thoughts float by without letting yourself get too immersed in them. Having a friend to process them with who can help keep you on keel goes a long way. First let them know what you want to post and ask them what they think. Will your topic/reply be constructive? Does it have too aggressive approach to it? Is it too far off topic? Do you think it's going to be worth it to bother if you aren't counting on the other party being convinced anytime soon?

It's not an easy thing to practice but the more you do it, the better you get at picking your discussions and being a lot more keen on how you present them.

Part of the point revolves around learning that if you have an idea you want to get through to others, there are methods of presenting them that help the other party appreciate what you're saying, increasing your chances of being heard. While there are merits to being blunt, those merits are about being strait forward and clear, which are skills that can be developed without risking coming across in a way that puts your efforts to waste by the other party's ears.

Dang it, Leah. I try so hard not to like you and then you go and quote my favorite crappy musical. Darn you.

I suppose I should at least attempt not to judge people based on their arguments (or ability to form them) outside of the discussion at hand.