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Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
27 Sep 2016 20:42 #258704
by Ben
B.Div | OCP
Gratitude for the Kindness of Others was created by Ben
Buddhism - or certainly the NKT strain with which I am most familiar - teaches that all living beings are inherently Kind, and that every aspect of our lives is made possible only by this Kindness.
This includes obvious, deliberate acts of Kindness, but also acts that were undertaken without necessarily prioritizing the goal of Kindness - for instance, when we watch TV, we are benefiting from the Kindness of all of the people involved in making the TV and all of the people involved in creating the TV shows that we watch, and then all of the people who made/provided the things that those people needed, going right back to the people who first invented the TV, and then back again to the people who inspired them. Not to mention the Kindness of the people involved in selling the TV to us, delivering the TV, writing the instruction manual, making the packaging, etc etc. Does it count as Kindness if it's just people doing their job so that they can pay the bills?
In this view, even our sheer existence is dependent on the Kindness of others - of our parents for conceiving us, our Mother for carrying and giving birth to us, our parent's parents for bringing them into the world (again, all things that may have been more selfish in motivation than Kind...and also things that can be difficult to consider as Kindness if one's parents didn't then do a very good job of parenting...)
To what extent are you grateful for the contributions of others to the benefits that you enjoy in life? Is a Kind act any act that brings benefit to others, or is intention important?
This includes obvious, deliberate acts of Kindness, but also acts that were undertaken without necessarily prioritizing the goal of Kindness - for instance, when we watch TV, we are benefiting from the Kindness of all of the people involved in making the TV and all of the people involved in creating the TV shows that we watch, and then all of the people who made/provided the things that those people needed, going right back to the people who first invented the TV, and then back again to the people who inspired them. Not to mention the Kindness of the people involved in selling the TV to us, delivering the TV, writing the instruction manual, making the packaging, etc etc. Does it count as Kindness if it's just people doing their job so that they can pay the bills?
In this view, even our sheer existence is dependent on the Kindness of others - of our parents for conceiving us, our Mother for carrying and giving birth to us, our parent's parents for bringing them into the world (again, all things that may have been more selfish in motivation than Kind...and also things that can be difficult to consider as Kindness if one's parents didn't then do a very good job of parenting...)
To what extent are you grateful for the contributions of others to the benefits that you enjoy in life? Is a Kind act any act that brings benefit to others, or is intention important?
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27 Sep 2016 23:07 #258721
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Replied by on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
I think I'd start by saying I do believe that all humans have the ability to be kind, but it has to be exercised on the part of the user. That can also be applied to the individual level, or the more overarching level.
To clarify, while I do think the majority of humans do exude kindness in their daily lives without meaning to, there are many who do not, or focus on other aspects of life. Someone running a TV show could simply be doing it as a business venture, and not think of it beyond that. But the director who worked his way up, and produces even the scripts which are risky, but -good-, and pours love into his work, that is where that sort of kindness radiates from.
But, for me personally, I know that each and every person who I consider a friend, I owe an immeasurable debt, for all the kindness they've provided me. I still am shocked when I think of it back over time. My best friend I met on-line, gaming, over 14 years ago. He gifted me a small item of no significance in a game which isn't around anymore, but it made my day, and I still remember how it felt. Even those small acts resonate for so long.
Kindness is an act, from a small personal one, to a big and broadly sweeping movement. It just needs good intentions behind it, and passion. Then those waves radiate out.
To clarify, while I do think the majority of humans do exude kindness in their daily lives without meaning to, there are many who do not, or focus on other aspects of life. Someone running a TV show could simply be doing it as a business venture, and not think of it beyond that. But the director who worked his way up, and produces even the scripts which are risky, but -good-, and pours love into his work, that is where that sort of kindness radiates from.
But, for me personally, I know that each and every person who I consider a friend, I owe an immeasurable debt, for all the kindness they've provided me. I still am shocked when I think of it back over time. My best friend I met on-line, gaming, over 14 years ago. He gifted me a small item of no significance in a game which isn't around anymore, but it made my day, and I still remember how it felt. Even those small acts resonate for so long.
Kindness is an act, from a small personal one, to a big and broadly sweeping movement. It just needs good intentions behind it, and passion. Then those waves radiate out.
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- Carlos.Martinez3
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27 Sep 2016 23:34 #258726
by Carlos.Martinez3
Pastor of Temple of the Jedi Order
pastor@templeofthejediorder.org
Build, not tear down.
Nosce te ipsum / Cerca trova
Replied by Carlos.Martinez3 on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
The act of kindness I find is never concerned on importance of ours for in the kindness when it find the need the importance is met. To me personally, intention is a very possible thing to create or destroy. I like personally to balance it out...if.. possible.
My parenting skills do not belong to my parents nor were they past but as a better example I am leaving I leave a healthy, visible, effort to keep contact and some forms of relationship with my own family. Some times, it just doesn't work... but the exams is to try.
My personal take and family motto is near the idea that manners and kindness matter. That's what we attempt to practice daily. Just imagine a whole house of people great full and kind instead of grouchy n cruel. Some day who knows. Mean time, some acts of kindness are all some people ever see. Don't stop. It's like some times I don't understand things but I don't have to. And that kinda changes things a bit for me.
My parenting skills do not belong to my parents nor were they past but as a better example I am leaving I leave a healthy, visible, effort to keep contact and some forms of relationship with my own family. Some times, it just doesn't work... but the exams is to try.
My personal take and family motto is near the idea that manners and kindness matter. That's what we attempt to practice daily. Just imagine a whole house of people great full and kind instead of grouchy n cruel. Some day who knows. Mean time, some acts of kindness are all some people ever see. Don't stop. It's like some times I don't understand things but I don't have to. And that kinda changes things a bit for me.
Pastor of Temple of the Jedi Order
pastor@templeofthejediorder.org
Build, not tear down.
Nosce te ipsum / Cerca trova
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27 Sep 2016 23:59 #258730
by Lykeios Little Raven
“Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.” -Zhuangzi
“Though, as the crusade presses on, I find myself altogether incapable of staying here in saftey while others shed their blood for such a noble and just cause. For surely must the Almighty be with us even in the sundering of our nation. Our fight is for freedom, for liberty, and for all the principles upon which that aforementioned nation was built.” - Patrick “Madman of Galway” O'Dell
Replied by Lykeios Little Raven on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
I'm probably not as grateful as I should be. I try to be grateful as much as possible, but sometimes I just don't think about all the kind things people do for me every day.
I don't think intention matters so much. I feel that if an act benefits someone else it is kind. An example would be my ex doing nice things for me. I say she is being kind and she insists she is just being practical and logical. She doesn't do things for me out of kindness alone. Nevertheless I feel the things she does for me are kind and thank her for them.
I don't think intention matters so much. I feel that if an act benefits someone else it is kind. An example would be my ex doing nice things for me. I say she is being kind and she insists she is just being practical and logical. She doesn't do things for me out of kindness alone. Nevertheless I feel the things she does for me are kind and thank her for them.
“Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man.” -Zhuangzi
“Though, as the crusade presses on, I find myself altogether incapable of staying here in saftey while others shed their blood for such a noble and just cause. For surely must the Almighty be with us even in the sundering of our nation. Our fight is for freedom, for liberty, and for all the principles upon which that aforementioned nation was built.” - Patrick “Madman of Galway” O'Dell
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29 Sep 2016 22:00 #259037
by Ben
B.Div | OCP
Replied by Ben on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
I guess 'Kindness' as in the sense of my original post is really a different thing to how a lot of us understand 'kindness' in the traditional sense...
It's a name for a specific Buddhist concept, which happens to share a name with a concept that we understand quite, but not always entirely, similarly...
Should we be grateful for kindness in the usual sense? Yes, I think so...
Should we be grateful for Kindness in the sense of 'something someone did that unintentionally benefited me'? I think sometimes we naturally fall back on that defiant sense of 'I don't owe that person anything'. They didn't do something deliberately for us, so why should we do something (i.e. being grateful) for them?
But, what is there to lose from being grateful?
I'm sure some people out there in the world would say 'ah yes, but what do you have to gain?' No tangible reward, true, but...gratefulness, humility...they're the very things that teach us not to need a reward. So, is it ever too much effort to bother being grateful for something? :dry:
It's a name for a specific Buddhist concept, which happens to share a name with a concept that we understand quite, but not always entirely, similarly...
Should we be grateful for kindness in the usual sense? Yes, I think so...
Should we be grateful for Kindness in the sense of 'something someone did that unintentionally benefited me'? I think sometimes we naturally fall back on that defiant sense of 'I don't owe that person anything'. They didn't do something deliberately for us, so why should we do something (i.e. being grateful) for them?
But, what is there to lose from being grateful?
I'm sure some people out there in the world would say 'ah yes, but what do you have to gain?' No tangible reward, true, but...gratefulness, humility...they're the very things that teach us not to need a reward. So, is it ever too much effort to bother being grateful for something? :dry:
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29 Sep 2016 22:10 - 29 Sep 2016 22:11 #259039
by Adder
Replied by Adder on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
For me its disarming oneself, so to allow equanimity in relations with others. Which then allows either compassion or joy to manifest from the interaction. That is how I tend to view the function of the Brahmavihara - a type of stabilization and operating modality to standardize ones view and conduct as a basis to refine awareness and reaction. From there the doctrine of emptiness can be employed quite easily, to explore the doctrine of two truths etc etc. Don't quote me though, that is just me!!
Last edit: 29 Sep 2016 22:11 by Adder.
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30 Sep 2016 06:20 - 30 Sep 2016 06:27 #259074
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Replied by on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
I am gratefull for the trees leaves colouring in the auttumn , i dont owe them and they dont owe me , but thats not the point , being gratefull should be a part of your being , radiating outside of yourself , a thing of maturaty to me. When you are childish you think "the universe " or whatever owes you stuff, when you grow up you realise what a magnificent wonder it is that you "Be" and "Breathe" and "Wonder"
To get that smile on the bus, the busdriver waiting those 8 seconds so you can get on, a random cat brushing against you, all the bad things that happen too, the things that you learn from them , the growth , the despair , all things to be gratefull for,
So no , intention is not a very important part of Gratefulness as such
To get that smile on the bus, the busdriver waiting those 8 seconds so you can get on, a random cat brushing against you, all the bad things that happen too, the things that you learn from them , the growth , the despair , all things to be gratefull for,
So no , intention is not a very important part of Gratefulness as such
Warning: Spoiler!
Thankfulness: “Thank You, God, for the Fleas”
Adapted from Hero Tales: Volume II, by Dave and Neta Jackson
Corrie Ten Boom and her family served the Lorda by helping to hide Jews during World
War II. Even though she was arrested and imprisoned, her faith remained strong.
I and my sister Betsie were roughly pushed into Barracks 28 at Ravensbruck, a
“work camp” for prisoners. We stared at the stacks of wooden sleeping platforms
crowded into the large room. Only a narrow walkway cut between. The platforms were
three deep and covered with dirty, stinking straw. There wasn’t even enough room to sit
up.
We had just arrived by train along with hundreds of other prisoners, crushed
together for three days with eighty women in a freight car. Exhausted, we crawled onto
the platform that had been assigned to us. But within moments, I sat up quickly and
bumped my head on the platform above. “Fleas!” I jumped down to the floor. “The
place is crawling with fleas! I…I don’t know how I can cope with living in such a
terrible place!”
“Corrie, I think God has already given us the answer,” my sister Betsie said.
“What was that verse we read from the Bible this morning?”
I pulled out my Bible from the bag I wore on a string around my neck. In the dim
light, I read from I Thessalonians:16-18: “ ‘Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In
every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.’ Oh,
Betsie, that’s too hard in a place like this!”
“No, come on, Corrie—let’s try. What are we thankful for?” my sister asked.
“Well…if we must be in this awful place, I’m thankful that we’re together.”
“And that the guards didn’t find the Bible you had hanging down your back!”
added Betsie.
I nodded gratefully. “Maybe we should thank God for how crowded we are in
here because that way more women will hear the Word of God when we read it aloud!”
“That’s right!” Betsie’s eyes danced. “And thank you, God, for the fleas—“
“No, Betsie! I can’t thank God for the fleas. There’s nothing good about them.”
“Well, we’ll just have to wait and see,” my sister answered.
Every day we were awakened at 4:30 A.M. and forced to stand outside in the cold
for roll call. Then we worked an eleven-hour day. We were given black bread for
breakfast and a thin soup of turnips for supper. The only thing we had to look forward to
was when all of us stumbled back to the barracks at night. Before we went to sleep,
Betsie and I would open our smuggled Bible and read God’s Word to the other women.
At first, we posted lookouts to keep a watch for the guards. Anyone caught with a
Bible would certainly be killed. But day after day passed, and no guards came into
Barracks 28. Soon we read the Bible twice a day, and more and more women listened.
No one bothered us.
One day, Betsie grabbed my arm and whispered, “I know why no one has
bothered our Bible studies. I overheard some of the guards talking. None of them wants
to come into Barracks 28 because of the fleas!”
I wanted to laugh. “All right, Lord. Thank you for the fleas!”
Adapted from Hero Tales: Volume II, by Dave and Neta Jackson
Corrie Ten Boom and her family served the Lorda by helping to hide Jews during World
War II. Even though she was arrested and imprisoned, her faith remained strong.
I and my sister Betsie were roughly pushed into Barracks 28 at Ravensbruck, a
“work camp” for prisoners. We stared at the stacks of wooden sleeping platforms
crowded into the large room. Only a narrow walkway cut between. The platforms were
three deep and covered with dirty, stinking straw. There wasn’t even enough room to sit
up.
We had just arrived by train along with hundreds of other prisoners, crushed
together for three days with eighty women in a freight car. Exhausted, we crawled onto
the platform that had been assigned to us. But within moments, I sat up quickly and
bumped my head on the platform above. “Fleas!” I jumped down to the floor. “The
place is crawling with fleas! I…I don’t know how I can cope with living in such a
terrible place!”
“Corrie, I think God has already given us the answer,” my sister Betsie said.
“What was that verse we read from the Bible this morning?”
I pulled out my Bible from the bag I wore on a string around my neck. In the dim
light, I read from I Thessalonians:16-18: “ ‘Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In
every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.’ Oh,
Betsie, that’s too hard in a place like this!”
“No, come on, Corrie—let’s try. What are we thankful for?” my sister asked.
“Well…if we must be in this awful place, I’m thankful that we’re together.”
“And that the guards didn’t find the Bible you had hanging down your back!”
added Betsie.
I nodded gratefully. “Maybe we should thank God for how crowded we are in
here because that way more women will hear the Word of God when we read it aloud!”
“That’s right!” Betsie’s eyes danced. “And thank you, God, for the fleas—“
“No, Betsie! I can’t thank God for the fleas. There’s nothing good about them.”
“Well, we’ll just have to wait and see,” my sister answered.
Every day we were awakened at 4:30 A.M. and forced to stand outside in the cold
for roll call. Then we worked an eleven-hour day. We were given black bread for
breakfast and a thin soup of turnips for supper. The only thing we had to look forward to
was when all of us stumbled back to the barracks at night. Before we went to sleep,
Betsie and I would open our smuggled Bible and read God’s Word to the other women.
At first, we posted lookouts to keep a watch for the guards. Anyone caught with a
Bible would certainly be killed. But day after day passed, and no guards came into
Barracks 28. Soon we read the Bible twice a day, and more and more women listened.
No one bothered us.
One day, Betsie grabbed my arm and whispered, “I know why no one has
bothered our Bible studies. I overheard some of the guards talking. None of them wants
to come into Barracks 28 because of the fleas!”
I wanted to laugh. “All right, Lord. Thank you for the fleas!”
Last edit: 30 Sep 2016 06:27 by .
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30 Sep 2016 10:30 #259096
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Are all living beings are kind? Are insects, animals, bacteria, babies? Who says what is and is not kind? Does a being have kindness or do we imbue the notion of kindness onto that being? We couldn't construct kindness if we didn't know of the being or kindness or we didn't exist. What is the notion of kindness which is being constructed?
The more things you include in the notion of kindness the broader it becomes until the term loses distinction, the particulars of what you are trying to communicate become lost. We have many different words which allows us to communicate nuances.
Why choose kindness? Why not ambition?, lust?, greed?, fear?
What about the entire spectrum of human emotion:
https://youtu.be/vQXPiBUQaIk?t=80
Be careful with absolutes like "all, always, never, every".
----
I'm grateful for the varieties of food, clean safe water, technological advances, education, games and toys, shelter and wealth.
Kindness is as we construct it.
Replied by on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
V-Tog wrote: Buddhism - or certainly the NKT strain with which I am most familiar - teaches that all living beings are inherently Kind, and that every aspect of our lives is made possible only by this Kindness.
This includes obvious, deliberate acts of Kindness, but also acts that were undertaken without necessarily prioritizing the goal of Kindness - for instance, when we watch TV, we are benefiting from the Kindness of all of the people involved in making the TV and all of the people involved in creating the TV shows that we watch, and then all of the people who made/provided the things that those people needed, going right back to the people who first invented the TV, and then back again to the people who inspired them. Not to mention the Kindness of the people involved in selling the TV to us, delivering the TV, writing the instruction manual, making the packaging, etc etc. Does it count as Kindness if it's just people doing their job so that they can pay the bills?
In this view, even our sheer existence is dependent on the Kindness of others - of our parents for conceiving us, our Mother for carrying and giving birth to us, our parent's parents for bringing them into the world (again, all things that may have been more selfish in motivation than Kind...and also things that can be difficult to consider as Kindness if one's parents didn't then do a very good job of parenting...)
Are all living beings are kind? Are insects, animals, bacteria, babies? Who says what is and is not kind? Does a being have kindness or do we imbue the notion of kindness onto that being? We couldn't construct kindness if we didn't know of the being or kindness or we didn't exist. What is the notion of kindness which is being constructed?
The more things you include in the notion of kindness the broader it becomes until the term loses distinction, the particulars of what you are trying to communicate become lost. We have many different words which allows us to communicate nuances.
Why choose kindness? Why not ambition?, lust?, greed?, fear?
What about the entire spectrum of human emotion:
https://youtu.be/vQXPiBUQaIk?t=80
Be careful with absolutes like "all, always, never, every".
----
I'm grateful for the varieties of food, clean safe water, technological advances, education, games and toys, shelter and wealth.
Kindness is as we construct it.
Please Log in to join the conversation.
30 Sep 2016 11:59 - 30 Sep 2016 12:12 #259099
by Zenchi
There are quite a number of people out there who do deliberate acts of kindness, simply for the feeling that is produced as a result, then there are those who do so out of some morally just idea they have, so there is intention there in some (perhaps not all) cases...
Remember, it is in giving that we receive...
I myself am grateful for every solder who has ever defended my country, my students, people who are moved enough by my art to buy it, the TOTJO, my health...
Replied by Zenchi on topic Gratitude for the Kindness of Others
V-Tog wrote: Buddhism - or certainly the NKT strain with which I am most familiar - teaches that all living beings are inherently Kind, and that every aspect of our lives is made possible only by this Kindness.
This includes obvious, deliberate acts of Kindness, but also acts that were undertaken without necessarily prioritizing the goal of Kindness - for instance, when we watch TV, we are benefiting from the Kindness of all of the people involved in making the TV and all of the people involved in creating the TV shows that we watch, and then all of the people who made/provided the things that those people needed, going right back to the people who first invented the TV, and then back again to the people who inspired them. Not to mention the Kindness of the people involved in selling the TV to us, delivering the TV, writing the instruction manual, making the packaging, etc etc. Does it count as Kindness if it's just people doing their job so that they can pay the bills?
In this view, even our sheer existence is dependent on the Kindness of others - of our parents for conceiving us, our Mother for carrying and giving birth to us, our parent's parents for bringing them into the world (again, all things that may have been more selfish in motivation than Kind...and also things that can be difficult to consider as Kindness if one's parents didn't then do a very good job of parenting...)
To what extent are you grateful for the contributions of others to the benefits that you enjoy in life? Is a Kind act any act that brings benefit to others, or is intention important?
There are quite a number of people out there who do deliberate acts of kindness, simply for the feeling that is produced as a result, then there are those who do so out of some morally just idea they have, so there is intention there in some (perhaps not all) cases...
Remember, it is in giving that we receive...
I myself am grateful for every solder who has ever defended my country, my students, people who are moved enough by my art to buy it, the TOTJO, my health...
Last edit: 30 Sep 2016 12:12 by Zenchi.
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