What are you going to be when you grow up?

What if you get passionate about alot of little things, not one big thing?

not sure if this is only for younger members; but I am what I'm going to be when I "grow up." I've worked in elder care nursing as a Certified Nursing Assistant for 6 years in Oregon; that's job A: I also run a self defense school teaching anti-bully and competition sparring as well as weapon defense and ground fighting for the last 3 years; that's job B.

both jobs are rewarding for separate reasons. Job A helps me earn an income while helping my elderly residents rehab and preserve dignity until they discharge or pass on. Job B gives back to my students the skills necessary to fight back against bullying, empower women to stay safe and help assault victims to heal.

that's what I do to make a living; what I'm doing as I "grow up"

Blackbeltmitpen wrote: not sure if this is only for younger members;

I'm 31 and I only realized what I wanted to be be when I grow up a couple years ago. It's sad because that makes it REALLY difficult to make happen, but I'm not losing hope that I will be able to do it eventually

I still have not a single clue of what I want to be when I grow up. :blush: :S

I mean, of course I want to be happy. But I've sort of gone with the flow most of the time, and I've sort of been ok with it until yesterday I read for the first time the fable of the Fox and the grapes. (Thanks Khaos!).

I'm still figuring it out, but I guess the only way I will get an idea of what I want to do, is by experimenting around, and not by sitting at home thinking about it, huh?

Blackbeltmitpen wrote: not sure if this is only for younger members;

Didja watch the video?

People older than you were ask this, and then when they responded as you have, the guy explained his thoughts, and why he ask someone who looked like they had already retired....

What if you get passionate about alot of little things, not one big thing?

Do you want to be really good at it? or just pretty good?

Do you want to learn ALL the yo-yo tricks, or just a few for fun, and maybe some juggling? Maybe some caligraphy? just learn it enough to get by? Do it when you think about it? When someone asks you to write their name?

Or, do yuo want to learn ALL the tricks? Be able to juggle chainsaws and kittens? Be able to rewrite Romeo and Juliet better than Ole Bill Shakespeare?

Its really up to you...

rugadd wrote: What if you get passionate about alot of little things, not one big thing?

Are they really passions?

Have you made any attempt to see if they are indeed passions and not just a passing fancy?

The thing about "what ifs" is that there is way to many "ifs" in that statement.

How do you know you have a lot of passions as opposed to a lot of interests you wouldnt really take the time to see through to the end?

Manu wrote: I still have not a single clue of what I want to be when I grow up. :blush: :S

I mean, of course I want to be happy. But I've sort of gone with the flow most of the time, and I've sort of been ok with it until yesterday I read for the first time the fable of the Fox and the grapes. (Thanks Khaos!).

I'm still figuring it out, but I guess the only way I will get an idea of what I want to do, is by experimenting around, and not by sitting at home thinking about it, huh?

Yep.

Its strange though, in that....I have never put "happiness" at the top of any list.

I think in many cases, putting happiness on a pedestal is one of the root causes of paralysis in achieving what one wants.

I mean, if I were to look at my martial arts journey. I have gained skill, confidence, many good friends(family really) learned countless new things about myself,mental toughness, physical toughness , joy, and yes, happiness in boat loads.

All good things for sure.

However, I have faced weeks, and months of discouragement, depression, thinking I would never get any better. I have had my ego smashed,etc.

In fact, this poster is up on the wall in the dojo.



My point being, is that if you put happiness at the top, you may be sabotaging yourself.

It is a good question 'who is' this person that is going to 'grow up', probably the person who made the dream up how many years ago... despite how closely held in the now. Which begs the question, does that mean it needs updating!!! I mean, if it is actually really old perhaps there are other things that might light the fire for the current you!?

Which makes me bounce of my earlier post a bit, as I clung to my dream as a teenager so much that I did not notice opportunities in other vehicles which might have had different aspirations but shared the same core attributes - those same attributes which might have been at the heart of my original (old) dream. I guess the more out of reach a dream is the more vulnerable it is to this, as we exert extra effort to try and find a way to create it against the odds - compared to accessible dreams which have a more obvious (not necessarily easy) pathway to progress. Gotta be realistic I guess. It's nice to think anything is possible, but not everything is possible. One might have to break it down into its component attributes and work with what is available to make progress in those cases.

Khaos wrote: My point being, is that if you put happiness at the top, you may be sabotaging yourself.

That is very insightful, thank you. I will have to ponder for a while about how much my desire for happiness is sabotaging my goals, if my mind is conflating happiness with avoiding conflict.

I wouldn't say happiness is the problem, but the vehicle it is expected to be manifest within ie a particular goal. I reckon we all are inherently capable of generating and maintaining a normative outlook of happiness, and indeed it is probably the most capable IMO.

Though there are vehicles dedicated to happiness specifically, like some types of Buddhism for example could be said to be a specific vehicle to manifest 'bliss' itself, but most usually we tend to want some activity to do the work for us, as our 'dream'.