The 90-Second Rule for Suffering

What are your thoughts on the 90-second rule?

http://dannyholtschke.com/blog/90-second-rule


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This also reminds me of the Pema Chodron "gap" practice

Seems arbitrary, I prefer to formulate techniques to sort stuff out. Forge a crystal to funnel my light through.. sort of thing :ohmy:

I think that comes after the 90-second wait. lol

On that, though, I also believe that the 90-seconds is a rule for beginners. Many times, daily instances of negativity come to us and we are unable to receive it. People who are experienced at mindfulness may only have to sit with the negative emotion a short time before they can act on it.

The idea is that when we take on an emotion, we sometimes forget to think and our scope of internal vision gets narrowed to the range of the emotional spectrum. So, if we're equating this to color... we feel red, and suddenly everything we do is red. We can't see blue.

But, if we make friends with red. Understand it. Sit with it. Then we realize we don't have to take on red all the time. We could try blue. And, maybe blue is the answer to the problem we associated with red.

Then... we could forge a crystal. lol

I believe it's an excellent concept, to be honest. Reacting to a situation is natural. Perpetuating the reaction, however, is a choice. Anger, suffering, grudges - these are often voluntary and can be interrupted through willpower. 90-seconds might be arbitrary, and I'm with Adder: the ability to will oneself out of a negative reaction needs certain tools (focus, can be obtained through meditation and regular practice), but the concept is valid. Sam Harris talks about this in "Waking Up":

"Most of us let our negative emotions persist longer than is necessary. Becoming suddenly angry, we tend to stay angry -- and this requires that we actively produce the feeling of anger. We do this by thinking about our reactions for being angry -- recalling an insult, rehearsing what we should have said to our malefactor, and so forth -- and yet we tend not to notice the mechanics of this process. Without continually resurrecting the feeling of anger, it is impossible to stay angry for more than a few moments." (Waking Up, 98-99).

I guess you could make it a goal...quantifiable is a big deal for some people. Good luck telling yourself not to feel something.

Adam,

this is the exact opposite of not feeling, isn't it? The idea is to FULLY feel it for 90-seconds. Be there with it. Hold it in your arms. Then, will it have the same bite after that time? Perhaps, perhaps not.

If it still feels raw and ready, maybe the right reaction is to be angry and act that out.

If it isn't, then you've saved yourself unnecessary suffering.

90 seconds is not always, or even often, enough. Feel how you feel as long as it is necessary. Once it stops being necessary and starts being a desire, stop, and move on to what is necessary.

Look on the bright side . You can do it 1440 times a day :silly:

Tools like this are meant to be starting points for people. If you tell them the true challenge upfront, they will never take it on.

Connor L. wrote: Tools like this are meant to be starting points for people. If you tell them the true challenge upfront, they will never take it on.

The problem with that is that people will, nearly invariably, take it literally in the modern microwave, instant-gratification, 12-easy-steps-to-lose-weight-that-aren't-exercise-or-diet-related world.