Controlling anger

I think you are asking 'where do i start?'...

And, that answer is "here, and now"...

Recognizing it is coming, the triggers that were mentioned, is important, but self control is not something that comes naturally to many, and why people go out of their way to avoid others...

Right now, you can come up with a plan to remain calm for 5 minutes the next time...

You might only make it 30 seconds, you might make it 10 minutes...

But, any skill is developed, some of us do have 'gifts' at things, but, learning to juggle, or learning to control emotions takes practice....

YOu will drop those pins/lose control again, suck it up, and be ready for the next time you get to 'practice'....

I dont have control over my anger, I have practiced to get where I am, and, with enough effort, anyone can 'flip my switch' and make me lose my anger... If I have not walked away by then... Lost it with a water pipe I was trying to fix the other day... lol...

but, only for a moment, and then I was able to defuse it fairly quickly...

So, while I practice to not be angry, I am only human, and also practice for my failure at some point.... And then, when that moment is over, I plan for the next time I get to 'practice'... lol....

"my younger siblings (3 of them)"

How old are they?

In reply to Khaos: I simply wish to control it and to be able to curb it. Thank you by the way for the advice on that Jestor.

In reply to Tickie. One is 13, one is 12 and the other is 8. It's not so much the third, he just tends to go with the crowd as you do at that age.

I've broken many things out of anger, lol. With that said, I've found a practice of Asana yoga for roughly twenty minutes after meditating first thing in the morning usually keeps the emotions in check. I've been doing it roughly seven years straight for a reason, it works and works well. Discipline the self on both physical and mental levels, you will develop more control as a result...

In reply to Khaos: I simply wish to control it and to be able to curb it.

This is hardly dealing with the problem.

Anger in this case is a symptom.

Controlling your anger or curbing it are bad ideas if you do not intend to try and fix the source of it.

You will just be training to be a better whipping boy.

Anger is not bad. Our anger gives us the focus and energy we need to deal with problems. Practice aiming and technique. Welding is much more useful than lighting wildfires.

Anger is what drives me. Think of revenge, and let that be your motivation. Don't repress your rage, let it grow inside of you. At the same time remember the saying, "Fear the wrath of a patient man". Rage and patience are an epic combo.

Define something you stand for and be ready to die for it.

I think we all walk around carrying preconceptions and prejudice which we cobble together in some effort to shape promise, where we assess our chance of success as a measure of hope. So when anyone or anything interrupts that it rocks our world and incurs the wrath of our inner ancestors
:lol:
I think it's inherently selfish, and would probably remain so long as we're alive, but being mindful of that means we can minimize and refine that aspect of it which can enable us to be open to exploring different outcomes and loosen those habitual or instinctual reactions. Even use it as a source of power if you can let it arise without letting it control you. Though it is a physiological state and its important to be mindful of the longer term impact such as cortisol spikes, adrenal fatigue, blood pressure, arterial stiffness etc, not that I'm a doctor or anything!!!

I would recommend a reminder to start. Something simple to remind you of your wish to stay in better control of yourself and your emotions. Something as simple as writing the word "forums" on a part of your hand that will be highly visible to you to remind you of your request here. Something as simple as a reminder like that can bring you back to a more conscious thought that you are trying to learn to control or curb your anger. You have already asked, that means you have already made the first step. What you are asking help with is not something that comes easy for many people.
With that said I would ask two things. First, curbing and try to have better control is a great thing but try to understand that there is a difference between curbing and containing. Containing (bottling up) can be dangerous, sometimes it's easier to bottle up but it is not healthy, it can add an extreme amount of stress and can lead to much more explosive outbursts. Second, please remember that emotions are natural. They are not bad in and of themselves. When you get better at noticing the anger growing you will be ready to learn to start redirecting that energy in a more positive way and be able to put it to use for yourself or others. If you start having problems with a build up then a burn out, work out does help many that meditation does not. A full workout that leaves you with little to no energy tends to make it difficult to even have the energy to be mad.
This information is from personal experience, I hope you will find some if not all of this helpful.

The idea that lancer gave of thinking of a word or phrase sounds really good, thank you! I did think of a phrase, it's one my grandad told me for times like this a little while ago! It's Latin and goes "Nihil Iligitime Carborundum"; which roughly translates into "don't let the bastards get you down!"