How do You Stay Present?

Hello!

I'm a newbie here and would greatly appreciate some guidance or advice on an issue I've been facing lately. I went through a good period a while back where I was living in the present and had very little anxiety (which is frankly amazing for me). However, I've noticed in the past 6 months or so, I've been full of anxiety and worrying about the future. So my question is: how do you stay present? What are some of your coping methods with anxiety and how do you retain perspective when you become anxious?

Thank you all so much for reading!

Lots of Alcohol!

Seriously though I know exactly what you mean. I have been told by family and friends that I suffer from an anxiety disorder... I personally dont see it but.. *he said sarcastically*

For me there have been many times in my life where I have succumb to anxiety and that can manifest in a lot of ways. Anger and depression being some common ones I have experienced. It has been so bad at times that it will leave me virtually paralyzed to act.

The first step is to recognize it in yourself. Doing that is half the battle! After that its a constant vigil of yourself and much much practice! I keep a close watch on my state of mind and remind myself that much of what I feel is in my head. That the world is not going to end or my job is not going away or I'm not going to forget that payment next month. If those things have not happened there is no need to worry about them!

Take things one day at a time and be okay in the fact that you will fail in this from time to time. Let your friends and family know how you feel and have them encourage you when you feel yourself spiraling out of control or if they see it in you. I know thats a HARD thing to admit/discuss with others but if they are your true friend they will be understanding and encouraging.

When I find myself out of control I try to spend time meditating. I focus on calming myself and focus on the idea that my fears are not reality. I ask myself what is the worst thing that can happen? And then walk through that scenario. Many times I come to the conclusion that what I had spun up in my mind as a world ending event was really not that bad after all. This sort of thinking has allowed me to take more chances in life and let myself get out there, meet people and experience new things.

Anyway I don't know if I have been of any help but I hope at least one nugget of enlightenment has shown through the rambling! lol

Take care and just remember, things will be alright!

Still working on this myself. It's a process. One thing I try to remember is Wil Wheaton's "Depression Lies". Well, the same thing is true for anxiety. Anxiety Lies.

Also talking to people helps, especially a professional. It can take months, years even, to learn to be comfortable with yourself and what arises in the mind, but being able to discuss and bounce all that's going on in the inner world off of someone else is one of the best things in the universe. It's what we humans were made to do. Being social animals doesn't just mean we form societies, it means we need other human beings in order to work through our own issues.

I just learned about the idea of compartmentalization right before the holidays and it was a total epiphany for me. I've been dealing with depression for 17 years and I've been off of my medication since mid-December and doing very well, if I do say so myself, using this strategy.

I visualize every issue that I'm facing as a tiny box in a big toolchest full of little boxes. There are lots and lots of boxes. I have to pay bills with limited resources. I have to raise my teenage daughter. I have to face tons of issue as I work. And I have all of those things that don't really seem to find closure for someone like me... my ex-husband who has been passed away for 12 years but who I still have nightmares about sometimes. My mother who always opposes me, no matter what the issue is. My estranged father. You get the point. I would easily be consumed by all of it if I let it all out at the same time and I'd be depressed for another 17+ years.

So how I deal with it now, how I "stay in the now", is that I only allow one issue out of the box at a time. If something else tries to come out and get dealt with I say, "no, it isn't your time right now. go away, you'll get your turn later." and I shut that box again. I work to make progress on whatever the one issue is that is allowed out for the moment, then I put it away and move on to the next thing that must be dealt with. Tiny steps of tiny progress eventually lead up to bigger steps forward over time, and that is all you can ask of yourself. More than that is simply unfair. You are not a superhero. It also helps to keep some kind of record of the progress you've made so you can see the positive momentum over time.

As for how to handle worrying about the future beyond that... you have to let go of the need for control over everything. You can only prepare so much for so many things. Bad stuff is out there and it's going to happen whether you panic about it or not. Worrying about it isn't going to keep anything bad from happening, and you're also giving the "bad things" control over the rest of your life, too, by letting them play in your mind without your permission. Don't give bad times more than what they deserve. Let go and face it as best you can WHEN YOU GET THERE.

Hope this helps, even a little. I know even the most well-meaning advice comes to us all in different circumstances and what might be a life-saver to one is useless to another. I wish peace to you in the most sincerest way possible.

Kyrin pretty much hit the nail on the head. Do you know the reasons you are anxious and worrying about the future? I lived out in the mountains for about 3-4 years only going to town for a few days at a time or maybe up to two weeks rarely. Was just working construction and logging for the most part. I really enjoy living out in the wild. But when I would go into town, and when I moved back to town, oh boy going to groceries stores and being in a houes full of people just made me panic inside.

I got used to having as much space as I could ever need to wander around, always having the freshest air to breathe, the natural smells, all the colors and wildlife around from the smallest little bugs to birds, deer, boar, bear, coyotes. Also just working almost all day everyday, it was nice. Dramatic change moving back, one time I went from the mountains directly to the Bay Area in CA and oh my god the smell of industry, like burning metal mixed with all the cars. Went into a mall to buy a Surface Pro 3 nearly had a heart attack cause it was packed for a holiday, all the lights, colors, sounds. I guess my anxiety was just overstimulation based. During these times I just try to focus on what I'm doing, it's like riding a tidal wave cause I know I could get really scared and overtly panic because I'm thinking about how intense the feeling is and all the what ifs.

A lot of anxiety I get now is about the future, mostly dealing with my financial situation but I know that I have friends and family who have and will help me if I am in dire need. Exercise helps because if you really go out and push yourself and use your energy you'll generally be more relaxed and it can prevent getting too anxious. Music for me is a great thing too, I listen to a lot of those natural sound mixes like of rain, rivers, wind and stuff, or calm atmospheric or house-like electronic music. Sometimes diet can play a role too. Now I tend to only get worked up if I know I have to do something and I'm limited by time or it's something really serious. In a non-sad sense I try not to expect anything so I'm not disappointed, I don't give in to people and their drama which can be a major factor for anyone's anxiety if you're being pushed around and having demands forced on you, or just being part of someone else's drama storm. In a not totally selfish way I've somewhat learned to not care so much and don't try to please and also don't try to get what I want as fast as I can or whatever.

In the end anxiety and the like are all part of life, you just have to identify what causes it for you and accept it so you can work with it to overcome it. The only thing that is happening is what is happening now, and you just have to deal with that. The future will always be uncertain. You should read The Power of Now if you haven't, great inspirational book that gives you a lot of ideas about now and inspiration to stay here.

[quote="Scham Ansim" post=221161 So my question is: how do you stay present? What are some of your coping methods with anxiety and how do you retain perspective when you become anxious?

Thank you all so much for reading![/quote]

Practice, practice, practice. I've conditioned myself so when I catch myself wondering off I mentally say to myself, "not now" &or mentally repeat, zero-zero. Once as I breath in and again as I breath out. It's a breath/breathing focus thing and the repeated zero zero internal chant clears my mind until I have control of it. Repeat as often as necessary. It's especially helpful if I'm have obsessive or negative thoughts. It can help me fall asleep too.

Do it. Every day. Maybe you can only be present for 5 seconds. Do that.

Then, do it again.

Then, do it again.

Then, wait a day. That next day, try it for 6 seconds.

Continue as needed.

At some point, you'll have exponential growth. Instead of being able to increase by just a few seconds... you will be adding minutes. Eventually, given months/years of growth, you will be able to hold your present as long as you'd like to.

One thing this requires: Being ok with being here. There's a good reason we aren't present. Well, good's not the right word... There is a reason that effectively keeps us from being present. I won't tell you what it is. Cause I'm not sure I know and it would be bad to give you the wrong answer.

Once you're ok with being here. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Now. Nownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownownow.

Then, you've got it.

I tend to practise a sort of spatial mapping visualization, where I imagine the wireframe representation of my physical surroundings (like an architectural drawing or plan). It's sort of reverse engineering perception by using imagination. I try to do this inside dreams as well, and together they sort of give me an avenue to shift the cognitive load of anxiety into that mental machinery of perception (in the present moment), instead of letting imagination fuel things like fear at the seat of anxiety (which IMO is often the subconscious running risk analysis scenarios for possible future outcomes, hence the feeling of uncertainty).



Other plus (in theory) is it can help empower awareness, speed up spatial processing in regards to proprioception and movement, and can facilitate exercising removal of attributes to view things in more simple, or alternate paradigms. Also makes a handy way to experience perception in a different form when focus is released and relaxation is possible (as the 'tracks once laid' when not used allow a sort of feedback into the visual system, given enough practise).

Doesn't work so much for depression though, as I tend to view that as a different thing to anxiety and stress, but that is actually my main meditation in regards to Jediism as it balances the scope of feelings into something more useful by trying to distribute excess mental power (experienced as emotions) into other parts of the brain
:side:
:lol:
It sounds a bit silly but its what I do

Apologies for not contributing a super in-depth answer like some of the amazing ones above, but, I always work in a few moments of meditation. Any time my anxiety starts to build, I'll meditate for as little as 60 seconds, to up to 5 minutes.

I've included some resources below, you may find of use!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw71zanwMnY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyy0ra2WcQQ

If my mind wanders too far I hum a simple mantra, something that you can hum absently. Your mind will clear out and it allows you to continue the task at hand.