The Thing All Women Do That You Don’t Know About

http://driftingthrough.com/2015/11/20/the-thing-all-women-do-that-you-dont-know-about/


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Thank you so much for sharing this. This is an amazing article that everyone should read.

I'd like to believe that this isn't everywhere. I am certainly not trying to devalue her experience or claim it never happens, as I don't believe that at all, but I think there are more things to be aware of. It's easy to not see what happens to men. Domestic abuse situations come to mind...

I don't want to get into too much of a rant here, so suffice it to say that individuals of both genders have a lot to deal with, and I personally don't think that men get enough focus. I know it's easy to focus on the women. But I think we're putting a lot of pressure on men with the current media focus.

We simply need to treat everyone better.

I can only compare my and my partners experiences in this regard, and they simply do not compare. The amount of stuff she has had to put up with in the public and professional areas of live is outlandish by my standards, but she says its normal for women. I think this article is trying to express just how men perhaps have near zero clue about, I know I did not appreciate the vast extent of difference in just normal life, in regard to the OP.

I for one am glad to see a woman speak out in this way.

It's necessary for me to disclose that I can't read a piece like this objectively. Domestic violence pervaded my family of origin - both those family members with whom I shared a home and those uncles, aunts, and cousins living in other homes. I truly consider it a gift from God that the familial culture which breathed through at least the two generations preceding me did not manifest in my own adulthood; I was gifted with a number of fortunate events, and perhaps a difference in natural disposition, that led me down a brighter path.

Given that experience, though, I remember clearly how the women were affected. Fear and anxiety were universal among them, and each one encountered a personal mix of depression, alcoholism, or illness as a result. All because of the vulnerable state in which they perceived themselves, and the hyper-dominant persona of their partners.

Women deserve better. The men in these situations, whom I believe are literally ill, do too; though they instigate brutal behavior and are responsible for its consequences, their own psyches are wounded and bruised, and somehow a path of healing should be made available (just as one certainly should be available for women who have been victimized).

Notably, I remember something my stepmother shared with me after my father passed away. He had hit her once. She responded by responding, without hesitation and with conviction, that if he ever did that again she would leave. It never did happen again, which was a much different scenario than my natural mother experienced. My stepmother showed strength, and it dramatically shaped her relationship with my father.

Perhaps as much as abusive men need healing, women in general need to be guided, from youth, to discover their strength. While the difference in muscle and aggression between average men and women certainly is a factor, nurturing healthier characters in both boys and girls perhaps could prevent a lot of pain.

Omhu Cuspor wrote: I... women in general need to be guided, from youth, to discover their strength. While the difference in muscle and aggression between average men and women certainly is a factor, nurturing healthier characters in both boys and girls perhaps could prevent a lot of pain.

I don't disagree with you, I do believe that respect must be taught to all both boys and girls, but that a great deal of behaviour is learned from parents. My friends who are teachers tell me that children who say racist things, for example, often have parents who don't understand what the problem is, and have expressed similar opinions to their children.

Often, women are strong inside, but they don't speak out because they know it makes no difference. We're brushed off, or made fun of, or told to 'stop being so sensitive' (my favourite one!). Once you realise speaking out doesn't make much of a difference... you stop doing it.

What some don't realise I think is that it's never just one thing.. it's never just one joke, or one incident.. it's an accumulation of many across years.. so that joke you think is funny about women, has been heard by that woman probably a hundred times, and it never gets funny.

Some of my colleagues made a rape joke at work the other day, not to a woman funnily enough, and I had to shut it down because I don't know what experiences others in my office have had. A friend of mine was raped and she spoke of it to about to only two people because of shame, so jokes like that to her must cut deep.

magmon wrote: I personally don't think that men get enough focus. I know it's easy to focus on the women. But I think we're putting a lot of pressure on men with the current media focus.

If you find a similar article to this expressing the problems men have and you are more than welcome to post it

Akkarin wrote:

magmon wrote: I personally don't think that men get enough focus. I know it's easy to focus on the women. But I think we're putting a lot of pressure on men with the current media focus.

If you find a similar article to this expressing the problems men have and you are more than welcome to post it

This post on Reddit is well researched, providing many sources for the nineteen problems listed. This is not a comprehensive list, but is a good place to start. A cursory google search will lead one into many situations one may not have realized in which the woman is favored.

This article , though not eloquently worded, expresses a different viewpoint. I do believe that the majority of men in prior generations protected women to the best of their ability. I also believe chivalry is a lost art. But, this is an opinion that gleans some useful insight for those willing to look past the clear outrage this man experienced before coming to a point where he felt this needed to be written.

All parts of this particular series, which uses a more traditionally structured, essay-like writing, are valuable in this argument. The link to each following article is usually posted in the last sentence. This is good reading for one who wants unbiased, factual information on the "oppression" of both genders.

I could go on, and certainly will if you request I do so. Please read these, though, before any disagreement, as I wish us to be on the same page.

Speaking as a woman who has been abused (physical and emotional), had prejudice from both genders aimed my way, and fights PTSD because of it... can't everyone just treat each other decently? Yes, women have a lot of unique struggles, I can vouch for that. Then again, so do men.

The world would simply be a better place if gender wasn't used to judge someone as much as it is now. I've been abused mostly by men, but I don't hate men. I've also had bad things happen to me by women, and it doesn't alter my perception of women either.

You have to assess people on a case by case basis. If every time I saw a man walking up to me and thought he was going to hit me because he's a man.. well, life would suck.

Balance in all things is my point I suppose, had trouble putting this down into coherent words, apologies.

I see. It takes courage to admit this. It takes wisdom to see that it's not ONLY a women problem. It's a people problem. It is sad to see hate in any form. Can we deliver the opposite? Is it possible to build, not only female but male too, instead of breaking things down. Me and my wife remove the man and woman words as often and see the heart or the person.
We ALL have some sort of coping mechanism. The day we as humans stop hurting humans will be a great day, till then friends take care of each other. The ones that are closest.
My own opinion, sad things make me,sad but they also allow me to hold my own closer and appreciate them better. Thanks Akkarin for this one!