The disapline of "difficult" children... a jedi approach?

"University of Rochester psychologist Ed Deci, for example, found that teachers who aim to control students' behavior—rather than helping them control it themselves—undermine the very elements that are essential for motivation: autonomy, a sense of competence, and a capacity to relate to others. This, in turn, means they have a harder time learning self-control, an essential skill for long-term success."

I was thrilled when a colleague sent me this last night. For a number of years Ive been saying that emotional intelligence and self management is something that needs to be taught in schools and from a young age, not only to help combat bullying and various behavioral issues that are rampant in schools, but also to help set kids up with skills that help them thrive as adults (might put the psychs out of business though...) and its incredible to see it actually being done. I'm still awaiting the outcomes of observational studies being done on these principals of "discipline" in schools, but so far, its very positive.

But I was thinking, as I often do, how the principals of self knowledge and self mastery that we talk about within our Jedi training, overlaps with the principals of positive psychology and developing emotional and social intelligence.

Anyway, very interesting article

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/05/schools-behavior-discipline-collaborative-proactive-solutions-ross-greene

We try to not be reactive to our kids. We try to focus on what they want to accomplish with their behavior and then discussing more appropriate ways to articulate that. And when they get frustrated, we try to figure out how to direct that frustration in a way that allows expression without potential incidents of harm. Works really well with our toddler. We also allow for consequence learning. If she insists on doing something that we have asked her not to do, especially in instances where her own safety are a concern, we allow her to learn through the natural consequences of her behavior. Within reason of course. There is a distinct difference between playing with a wall plug and a kitchen knife. We aren't willing to risk any real physical harm. In those instances, we will demonstrate potential danger through a means that doesn't risk an actual encounter with danger.

I would also say that any approach that allows for individual choice and volition to remain intact while bringing understanding and compassion into play is very Jedi.

Sounds like the kind of upbringing I could have benefited from.

This is such a delicate subject that really shouldn't be. Brenna i feel ya! i read the article and am impressed. There needs to be an awakening on more subjects as per what we are passing to our halflings in my mind grows every day, I saw my son the other day look at other children and kinna didn't know how to interact with him due to worry about our approval. We gave him a bit of our social anxiety. it is possible to pass the good. I heard from some where children who meditate benefit most. thats where i think ill start the wagon... thats kinna where i started in the Temple. ... asking Jestor if it was real or not lol

my approach is way different than conventional standards but i think i would have benefit ed from the knowledge i will "try" to pass on to him...even if he just gets 1%... it would be worth it...

CryojenX wrote: Sounds like the kind of upbringing I could have benefited from.

I think everyone can. Just some more than others.

I am sure my kind will still be in business even with a revised education system. Indeed; every tragedy encountered is distressing, but the most frustrating are when you get to understand a person's life narrative, and simply put, what they have experienced was preventable. Sadly, they were just not surrounded by people with the insight to prevent it. Even if we resolve that matter, there are so many people who still need assistance because of unavoidable causes.

Anyway, thank you for sharing the article; a very articulate summation of Dr. Greene's work. There is a danger in throwing out the baby with the bath water, when advocating new approaches, however, being an original paradigm devised through interaction with the intended recipients of the approach; I favour Dr. Greene's approach over diet mindfulness or mindfulness light which had a time of being in vogue as a reaction to evidence regarding the failings of the classical behavioural model.

There over laps between Jedi training, and modern positive psychology as a result of shared roots and influences form Buddhist thought and humanist philosophy. However, I would be wary of too direct a comparison simply because of the lens each practice views these shared concepts, and different end goals for their practice.

I am not a child psychologist, and only deal with clinical cases, but with regards to it, it is important to always keep in mind that children think and experience themselves much differently. With adults, what seems like control or expression of emotion could in fact be avoidance of dealing with emotion. Expression and suppression are both repression depending on the context. So an early education in socialisation, and the ability to identify and discuss the internal experience can form a useful base, but it is an education that continues through life and must be practiced daily.