Fear

my advice is to embrace the idea of impermanence

accept the fact that there is no one and nothing to hold on to

its the only training there is for facing the unknown

exercise regularly

do your best to stay in a state of alert mindfulness as much as possible

breath, always always be aware of your breathing

pursue personal excellence, in whatever ways you can, and then trust in your personal power

determine to yourself that no matter how many times you have been or will again be afraid, the fact that you have acted to do what you had to do once in spite of your fear, even if it was in a small way, is proof that you have the internal resources to do it again

imo its not always that we "face our fears" so much as that we act as we know we ought to in the face of our fears

an interesting experiment to do when your looking at something that youre afraid of butit isnt immediately dangerous, is to just BE THERE with it

allowing yourself to experience the fear, but in an analytical way

experience your fear as a scientist; question it - explore it

ask it questions!
this actually works for many people "why are you bothering me, Fear? WE BOTH have to go up that ladder and youre making it hard on both of us - why are you doing this? why do you hold us back? what do we gain? what is the source? "

you may be surprised at what it says

also a great way to handle fear is to engage your mind deliberately

whatever the situation is, there is a reason you are there

make a mental checklist of your objectives and focus on that

do your best to get your mind to be able to function smoothly

get on a roller coaster and do your six, seven and eight times tables lol or recite the pledge of allegience or something

the point is; make your brain work while you are afraid

and this will often lead into the ability to make your body do whatever it is that you have to do in the moment

focus
breath
observe
think
act
repeat

sometimes you get tripped up between "think" and "act"

when you find yourself unable to act, stick with breath and observe - dont think too much, just observe yourself and let it be whatever it is
explore it more

at some point youre going to know what you need to do- JUMP! lol

focus
breath
observe
think
act

OB1Shinobi wrote:
sometimes you get tripped up between "think" and "act"

when you find yourself unable to act, stick with breath and observe - dont think too much, just observe yourself and let it be whatever it is
explore it more

at some point youre going to know what you need to do- JUMP! lol

focus
breath
observe
think
act

i wanted to clarify that the "observe" here includes observing the environment

look around - notice particular objects and mentally register them for what they are

i know this may seem trivial but its really all about getting some kind of control over your thoughts and your attention

also if you dont have a predetermined safety procedure for whatever it is youre doing, improvise one

something as simple as "i will keep three points of contact with the ladder at all times. i will be aware and in control of my center of balance as i move. i will breath. i will get the tools i need - what tools do i need?" ect

the best way to handle fear is to keep the mind active and the body active in deliberate ways

Jonus wrote: Fear, how does one defeat it? It is the bane of my life, fearing others, fearing death. Does fear really lead one down a dark path or does it make one know one's alive? I have many fears and would like to defeat many of them. Can one really defeat fear itself or is fear a limitation? So many questions.

Fear itself is very hard to overcome once it manifests itself. So what should be central to one's practice is identifying factors that cause fear and work on neutralizing them. Fear often comes from lack of control and uncertainty. Choosing to accept factors that one doesn't have control over rather than fighting them or worrying about them leads to less fear. This requires work - e.g. meditation, focussing on the things you CAN change rather than on those you can't.

As for the 'Dark Side' - I do believe fear causes people to interfere with life, to rip you out of practice, to keep you from doing things you want to - just generally keeps you from being yourself. Yes, I'd define that as the 'Dark Side'.

Jonus wrote: Fear, how does one defeat it?

One way to look at it as a path to overcome a fear;

1. Ground (preparation); a trusted relationship between the subconscious and conscious mind's.

2. Basis (planning); realistic contemplation, expolorative viualisation

3. Path (progress); controlled exposure to actual sources of fear

Jonus wrote: It is the bane of my life, fearing others, fearing death. Does fear really lead one down a dark path or does it make one know one's alive? I have many fears and would like to defeat many of them.

Some of the behaviours and sensations commonly associated with 'darkness' IMO tend to be when that relationship in the 'Ground' (point 1. above), between the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind, has broken down. What might tend to occur is that the subconscious processes behaviours contrary to the conscious intent and communicates this through sensations which can shape, distract or even overcome our own mindful conscious intention. All just in my opinion though!!

Jonus wrote: Can one really defeat fear itself or is fear a limitation? So many questions.

Rational fears are important to warn of inadequate preparation, or at least that is how I like to view them. Irrational fears are tougher IMO, because they can be formed in the past and continue on for undiscovered/unknown reasons until they either peter out (countered by re-contextualizing its components/replaced with better experiences of contextual association) or your able to confront and deal with them in whatever way achieves its dissolution, or some irrational fears might exist through some breakdown in how they are being interpreted (like they are not perhaps actually irrational its just unknown what they truly represent)... again though that is just how I interpret them because I don't want to sabotage myself by immediately associating negative values to my experiences unless they are truly harmful and need urgent intervention (and such intervention is actually available!).

I don't mean to suggest it's easy though :blink: :side:

Good luck with it!!!!!

I Have so much I could say about fear I could go on and on about it. Instead I'll leave an excerpt from a book that help me a lot.

. . . I had a terrible fear of bugs, and I was extremely uncomfortable sharing a living space with them.
It's silly I know, but I was raised in concrete home that were regularly sprayed to draw a definite line between the wilderness outside and the bug-free environment for humans on the inside. At the farm, however, the line was blurred and sometimes non-existent. So instead of feeling calm and serene at the sanctuary, I curled up on the fetal position and constantly felt like something was crawling on me.
My friend thought I should talk about my anxiety to our hosts, but I thought she was crazy, "Here I am," I said, "with the opportunity into there deep wisdom,, gained from years of studying with gurus all over the world . . . and you want me to ask about my fear of BUGS!" . . .
With a few but carefully selected words of wisdom, they skillfully invited me to rewrite the story in my head about bugs . . . perhaps the insects weren't invading "my" space, but maybe I was invading theirs. . . . They suggested that if I tried to naming the bugs as I saw them I would shift my consciousness to accept each animal as someONE, not someTHING.
. . . I realized that my fear was simply a learned behavior from watching my mother react to insects when I was growing up. . . . .

Buddhist Boot Camp, Rewriting the Stories We Tell Ourselves
By Timber Hawkeye

That ended up longer than I wanted but I hope that helps someone and maybe that book will help someone to like it helped me.

This is rather lighthearted and I just remembered that I had this saved in my pictures... but actually although it's funny it has a point