Too Much Forgiveness: Is there such a thing?

I had an old teacher who told me "forgiveness is being able to erase a debt and live with the consequences of the debt erased." I use it in my every day and often use it for meditation, hope it helps you pm me any time CARLOS

Gisteron wrote: What if to move on doesn't mean to forgive? I don't hold grudges but there are bonds I have broken as a consequence of being wronged. I moved on since then, I don't waste any time being miserable about it, but I have not forgiven everything I have left behind. Likewise, there are things I might do or have done already over which I wouldn't ask any forgiveness. There are wrongs I might not want to become right again but rather move on and live with them firmly in my past, unresolved.

Hm. I am not really sure about definitions (yeah, yeah. as always, moving on.), but to me, it seems to me that there's a very fine line between moving on and forgiveness. So fine, i actually don't notice it. Having broken a bond with a person that hurt you is perfectly reasonable. And in the end, it is just a question how angry you are yourself. Anger is always self-inflicted (as long as you are free to go, at least). So what you do do with a bad situation, regardless of who did the "wrong" thing, is your own decision, and the same applies to your "opponent". You can either wallow in self-pity, hatred, or anger, or use the time to think about the situation, and use it as a chance for personal growth. What you described above, not holding grudges, reads to me like forgiveness, in the end. Who knows? Maybe by now, the people who wronged you (or anyone, for that matter) have since completely rethought their lives, and grown into nice philanthropist pacifists.

May I have 1 star as well? I'll take a +, too.

Alan wrote: Forgiveness, like the numerous other virtues, does not exist in isolation. The practical wisdom of virtue ethics requires that the virtues be applied as an inter-related constellation of possible actions in any particular situation. Each virtue exists on a continuum of too much and too little. There can be too much patience and forgiveness, and so also, too little. Each virtue is applied in varying degrees as called for in the situation. The list of virtues is long but not endless.

For me, it is called balance...

Not too much, not too little...

Not every action can be included in the list virtues. For example, greed is not a virtue of which one could have too much or too little. Forgiveness is more understandable as an action that is the result of another virtue, such as, compassion.

Because 'greed' is not a virtue, right?

I think that it boils down to how one looks at things...

Taking care of myself is considered by some to be 'selfish', yet to take care of others too much is to be a 'pushover'...

Aristotle advises that the wisdom of experience will provide some degree of insight as to what virtue is applied in any given situation: right virtue in the right way at the right time, to the right person to the right degree. There is no formula for consistent application. Which virtue is applied in one situation may not be the best practice in another setting. Experience is a most excellent teacher.

Indeed...

I think all of us have come to the point, some time or another, where we have said, "I accept that you behave this way, and I bear you no ill will, but I will not put myself in the position of being hurt again." It is an unfortunate turn of events when that becomes necessary. I suppose it depends on just how injured you were. Each must make their own peace.

Or, as my dear friend Bartlett says, "May the Goddess feed you and keep you, far far from me."

carlos.martinez3 wrote: I had an old teacher who told me "forgiveness is being able to erase a debt and live with the consequences of the debt erased."

That's really good.

its very useful in my every day!
...just be cautious where you give it is all , remember love will turn to hate if not returned ...

When I was little the expression "forgive but never forget" seemed rather ominous and almost like an oxymoron. But I see it differently now.

To forgive someone is to let go of the resentment, prejudice and hurt that you hold.

Forgiveness is not a condoning of actions, nor is it an invitation to repeat the actions. And there comes a point where repeated offenses are little more than an abuse of trust.

I believe you can forgive someone for what they have done, but still not allow them the opportunity to repeat it.

steamboat28 wrote: Is there a line to be drawn? My tradition says one should forgive "seventy times seventy", as a show that forgiveness should be endless. Then again, I question my sensibility if I'm in a situation that requires 4900 "don't worry about it"s.

So, is there a limit to forgiveness? Or, should we separate forgiveness from tolerance of misdeed, and forgive those who harm us, but learn from our mistakes in trusting them, as well?

Forgivness is for the forgiver letting go of a wrong, it's not permission for the wrong doer to continue.