Cope with frustration

Hello

Since a lot of people seem irritated a lot of time, express hatred against other people,... in my precense, I was wondering what people here can suggest me to do, how can I help them. It shouldn't be but I feel irritation myself just because these people react "wrong" in my eyes. What shouldn't be the case ofcourse, but it seems hard just not to care.

I read a lot here to help myself in situations of chaos but I don't really have a clue how I bring this to other people

And do some try to help people who are closed to spiritual enlightment? I feel like if I start talking about subject spoken about here in the group or about Jediism, people react negatively.

For exeple, what do you say to someone who is moaning about a colleague.

Thanks

you can be honest and tell them what you think (agree, disagree, or nothing if you have no opinion), or like most people be crafty(engineer a response that benefits you).

I guess there are many things you can do really - you can wade in and try and correct them, or you can try and remember it happened and try to modify their behaviour in other ways in later unrelated conversations when the anger has calmed down.

I know that the one I struggle with the most is when people are negative for no reason - living in England that's a fairly constant thing! I try and be upbeat about stuff, especially when there's no obvious reason to assume the worst, but most of my colleagues start bemoaning the plight of their working day before they even know what they're doing or how busy they will be. I spent years trying to gently mention that people feel better when they're upbeat rather than negative but very often people are enjoying their moan or their rant and they don't appreciate intervention.

For me I feel that, before I intervene in a situation with other people like that, I need to try to consider what I want to achieve by intervening, what I think their likely reaction will be, who is really benefiting from my speaking up (them by being corrected by me, or me by feeling good about having done it) and also, is the likely outcome worth it?

Lastly, I remember a quote I read somewhere about considering before I speak if what I'm about to say has more value than the silence I'm replacing. Often times it's best just to leave people to get on with their existence unless you think they need consoling or help in some way.

I feel like every time you try helping people they feel offended, people never seem to accept help. The last thing I want to do is ofcourse offend them and I feel really bad afterwards + I am very aware that people don't want to hear how to behave from others.

I guess this group might even help these people the most because they don't really know themselves or are just hiding real difficulties. Yet, starting about a spiritual path might even be harder.

Thx for the suggestions already given

Kanto wrote:
I know that the one I struggle with the most is when people are negative for no reason - living in England that's a fairly constant thing! I try and be upbeat about stuff, especially when there's no obvious reason to assume the worst, but most of my colleagues start bemoaning the plight of their working day before they even know what they're doing or how busy they will be. I spent years trying to gently mention that people feel better when they're upbeat rather than negative but very often people are enjoying their moan or their rant and they don't appreciate intervention.

I live in Belgium and I have to say it really rings a bell, colleagues don't seem to live without moaning and blaming each other, It's like part of the job or so they think. But at my family I see that they take it home with them and it causes a lot of stress, irritation and frustration, that again reflects on all the members of that family, including me if I can think for once I'm a victim in it too.

About waiting to intervent, don't you feel like you bring up stuff that would better let to be forgotten?

Chillout wrote: I feel like every time you try helping people they feel offended, people never seem to accept help.

This typically happens when people don't want help.

steamboat28 wrote:

Chillout wrote: I feel like every time you try helping people they feel offended, people never seem to accept help.

This typically happens when people don't want help.

What if they force themselves to not wanting it, like writter here, they might have trouble with showing their true self or they don't have the knowledge to know it's ok to accept help

I it affects me, I think I have the right to interfere...

Chillout wrote: What if they force themselves to not wanting it, like writter here, they might have trouble with showing their true self or they don't have the knowledge to know it's ok to accept help

I it affects me, I think I have the right to interfere...

I disagree wholeheartedly. Nothing gives you the right to interfere in any non-immediately life-threatening situation except people asking you to interfere. You have no right to force people to be who you want them to be, or even who they could be. The only thing you should be doing is loving them as they are. If their behavior is harmful to you, leave their acquaintanceship. If their behavior is harmful to others, you can inform them politely. If their behavior is harmful to themselves, you can request they re-examine it.

But ultimately, as painful as it is to understand, nobody can change anybody but themselves, and the more you try the worse you make the situation.

Thanks, very helpfull.

This was a really, really hard lesson for me to learn, too, but I honestly find that people ask for my help more often now--when I don't force it on them--than they ever did before. They ask my advice, my opinions, and how I see situations, because I'm not putting them on the defensive by demanding they think a certain way before they're ready, and they respect me (and therefore my opinion) more because I respect their ability to choose their own path in life.