Self View and Very Bad Things

I suppose I'm compelled to write this because I've need of some sort of insight and I can always turn here for opinions(even if I don't agree) that are thought out(usually).

I've made the mistake of thinking that who I thought I was and what I did with myself and those around me was correct. I with held judgements on myself that I might be hurting others(including animals) and told myself "What will be will be."

Not acting, however, has caused a Very Bad Thing. In hindsight I recognize my negligence has caused great suffering. Though I am acting to correct it to the best of my ability, it has left me disillusioned about how much I can really consider myself a good person, especially since some of the hurt caused cannot be undone. Moving forward I have acted on correcting my behaviour and attitude but I am still left with the feeling of being a rotten guy. I know for some that is what is called a "hang up".

Has anyone had similar experiences? If so, how did you deal with it? Are you still dealing with it? Does that feeling go away?

Would a bad person be taking steps to correct or heal whatever hurt they caused? Would a bad person be feeling rotten for making a mistake that hurt others? Would a bad person even care?

We make mistakes. Its what we do after that which counts.

Rugadd,
You have made an error in your ways; however, you have ephiphanized via this post that your eyes were closed and are now opening to drive away that ignorance. I have been there and I am certain we all have had similar experiences that realized as turmoil in our hearts and souls.

My suggestion to you is to continue meditating and practicing mindfulness. Be mindful of every action you make so not to make such an error in the future. Be mindful of your very thoughts and calculate how even just those thoughts would affect those around you, then calculate how they would affect those further from you, then further, then further, then people you don't know, and finally calculate how all of the world would be affected by those thoughts.

Remember, even your thoughts consist of the Force and thus, your thoughts are connected to all and vice versa. You can do this and you know that we're here if you ever need us again. Good luck, brother.

Right and Wrong are nomenclature. Labels we use to help us describe a universe we simply don't understand.

That being said, I've done some pretty horrific things in my life too. I've also done some very good things. But all of that is irrelevant.

I'm not much of a Christian, but my parents are, and I've learned something very important from the church through them: God (or the Force, or whatever label you want to use) loves you. We ALL do in some sense of the word. You will not be cast out, shunned, or stoned for what you've done. At least not by us, those of the more enlightened crowd.

We can't speak for the law, but if there's one thing we can give you, it's forgiveness.

You have to forgive yourself first or it will haunt you the rest of your life. Then ask forgiveness of the people who were harmed and leave to them.

If you find yourself realizing that you don't like the person you were, you've reached a critical point. Deciding to be someone new and be more mindful is a great place to start from there. It is important that if you wish for others to forgive you then you must first be able to forgive yourself. If you believe that you are truly a better person then the rest will follow. Not everyone will have it in them to forgive you, but that is a reality you must be willing to accept and you must be mindful and simply show them that things have changed for the better.

It is as my signature says, "You must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself." While others can provide support, it all comes down to the self. Your judgement upon yourself is the only one that can have any real impact, and once you find yourself worthy of your own respect you can let your true self shine.

If I haven't made any sense here, I apologize as these are my thoughts and those don't tend to stay as organized as others might like.


May the Force be with you,
Rai

Rugadd, we all make mistakes. Sometimes we end up hurting people, when we never meant to do such at all. You seem to have realized some error in your behavior that wasn't good for yourself or others and have decided to change that. It is good to recognize problems and to face them.

You say that some of the hurt you have caused cannot be undone, at that I would use what you had said, "What will be will be". Apologize and do right from now on to/for the people you have wronged, and learn to forgive yourself for making the mistake so that it doesn't consume you and blind you from doing what is right.

You are not a bad person Rugadd, people make mistakes, now you just have to do what you feel is right to better yourself and help others around you, rather than being destructive in some manner.

Never the less, I hope for your success in changing your behaviors that you deem bad.

May the force be with you brother, always

Not acting is usually the worst mistake a person can make. But any action at some point is better than none. Some people may disagree with me but i do believe that any small push in the right direction is a great start for a better tomorrow. So never get down about the past.

I've had something similar in the past. Similarly to fear, regret is often a function that prevents us from doing harmful things. However, other than fear, it does not need to be triggered and thus keeps torturing one's conscience without any tangible benefit for it relates to the past more than to the future.

If your reason to do good is to ease your conscience, just how good is this, really? And if you are good for goodness' sake, how can you be a bad person. The past cannot possibly be changed and while it must not be forgotten, it neither must replace the present. Try your best and that will be fair enough, but don't think of it as repaying a debt or balancing the occasional bad thing that are your responsibility. Well-being of as many and as constantly as possible is the central good of any moral system and one needs go no further beyond that axiom.

What I'm saying is: There is no way of dealing with regret. One either carries it with oneself or one doesn't. Since it has almost no benefit there are far better, far more productive and far more pleasant thoughts to use one's mind for.

rugadd wrote: Has anyone had similar experiences? If so, how did you deal with it? Are you still dealing with it? Does that feeling go away?

Mistakes are part of being human. Sometimes our emotions get the best of us. We do what we think is right and do the best we can and stuff still happens. That's life.

If it's a little bobo, say your sorry if applicable, learn from it and go on with your life. Don't beat yourself up for being human. If it's a big bobo then things get more complicated.