Self View and Very Bad Things

Thank you, everyone.

Now the next step comes from "Know thy self."

I've expressed great passion and drive at the beggining of something, either a personal goal, work, new habit, etc. but in hindsight have found that I tend to trail off back into old habits after a few weeks. I'm scared this will happen again. I feel strongly about it now, but what happens when that strong feeling goes away?

Rugadd,
Perhaps this is something to record in your journal here? I feel this might help you stay on track.

When you feel great passion about something like this it is good to take a step back, calm down and analyze the situation clearly. You do not want to solely base your actions on emotion. You may want to set clear, concise and achievable short term goals and keep setting them until they become second nature or habit. I know how hard it can be to become lackadaisical and to procrastinate until things never get done. I find that it really helps to set short term goals as opposed to long term ones and to take a step back every now and then to remind yourself why you are doing this as well as how well you have been doing so far.

May the Force be with you,
Rai

I've too felt like a complete and utter idiot for some mistakes I've made. Just reinforcing what everyone else has said- You are definitely not alone.
How we deal with things probably varies from person to person but personally- I didn't really deal with it very well where in fact I kept on feeling guilty. However, with time the guilt lessened and eventually it didn't matter anymore. Don't live in the past though, because it's gone. If you feel you've fallen, maybe say to yourself "There is no praise, there is no blame." It's sorta helps me from time to time not to beat myself up. (Way of the Peaceful Warrior) There is only Now, so act now.
In answer to your last question about having great passion at the start of something, I get that too, I start stories,poetry and projects which often die in a forgotten folder somewhere on my laptop. I think it's partly discipline, setting aside daily time for it or put it in the diary time, really thinking and expanding on whatever idea you had and keeping it up to date. Is this passion for changing who you are though?
About knowing yourself- Are you talking about the Ego? Because yes that illusion of "who I am" can change alot! I'm not sure of who I am, but I believe I'm capable of great and terrible things. But the Self behind the ego- I think that's, maybe not 'good' but something unchanging in it's changing nature, all-encompassing, wonderful (and perhaps terrible) and just MORE than our little "I"'s. Not sure that'll make sense. But don't worry too much about who you are, because you're always changing. Just choose and be as and who you are now,
Best of luck mate

rugadd wrote: Thank you, everyone.

Now the next step comes from "Know thy self."

I've expressed great passion and drive at the beggining of something, either a personal goal, work, new habit, etc. but in hindsight have found that I tend to trail off back into old habits after a few weeks. I'm scared this will happen again. I feel strongly about it now, but what happens when that strong feeling goes away?

You try again and again. Never give up never surrender. You get knocked down and get back up. You human but your spirit can carry you when the body is weak. When your tired rest and take a break and then get back at it. Stop beating yourslf up.

rugadd wrote: Thank you, everyone.

Now the next step comes from "Know thy self."

I've expressed great passion and drive at the beggining of something, either a personal goal, work, new habit, etc. but in hindsight have found that I tend to trail off back into old habits after a few weeks. I'm scared this will happen again. I feel strongly about it now, but what happens when that strong feeling goes away?

Ah, old habits die hard. After you have the knowledge of something, it becomes a temptation. It's much easier to give in to temptation and receive immediate gratification than it is to suffer and wait for long-term rewards. I think it's important to understand the difference between wants and needs, and then to understand that what we want isn't really bad and maybe we can have it but we must choose ways that don't hurt others.

Hi Rugadd, this is a poem I've read in "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" I feel as though I've been in similar positions many times in the past and this has helped me keep focused on not slipping into habit sometimes.

Autobiography In Five Chapters

1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

Portia Nelson
From: Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

It's an excellent book, I find it humbling and insightful, I recommend it if you haven't already read it.

rugadd wrote: I've expressed great passion and drive at the beggining of something, either a personal goal, work, new habit, etc. but in hindsight have found that I tend to trail off back into old habits after a few weeks. I'm scared this will happen again. I feel strongly about it now, but what happens when that strong feeling goes away?

Congratulations! You've become a member of the human race! In all seriousness though, it's Yin and Yang. If you go to one extreme, you are destined to fall back to the other extreme. How do you avoid this? Take the middle path. Don't obsess over anything, and don't ignore it either. Whenever you come to a crossroads, and you have a decision to make as to how far you want to go this way or that... take the middle path.

Or as the old saying goes, "Everything in Moderation".

Also, listen to Vergere, he knows what he's talking about