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Emotional Attachment

05 Apr 2020 03:31 #350865 by Deimos
Emotional Attachment was created by Deimos
Hello fellow Jedi. To those who have either struggled with attachment to a particular individual, or who are currently struggling, how/what do you do to break the attachment? For the record I have broken my attachment, mostly due to me finally realizing how unhealthy it was in general even without how miserable it made me, but I am now trying to expand my arsenal per say so that it is harder for me to fall into the rabbit hole in the future. Thoughts?

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05 Apr 2020 14:29 #350870 by Carlos.Martinez3
Jedi teaching

4. Jedi are wary of attachments, both material and personal. The obsession over possessions and people creates the fear of losing those possessions and relationships which can cause ourselves to be trapped in a state of depression and loss.

Which and how are totally you, to that person, the individual to create and label and try and figure and adjust as such.
There are attachments that can keep and some that free. Some we need freedom from. Others , for me, not so much.
People are a huge part in some paths. Characters and rules can always be evaluated but it’s that “be wary” part - that idea that we can be smart and be wise - about even our own attachments. About anything really.

Knowing sometimes who plays what part helps. Some times it can just make ya salty - WARY
What a concept

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05 Apr 2020 21:38 #350875 by Adder
Replied by Adder on topic Emotional Attachment
They are a bit like colours, they reflect off whatever is holding them, enough that it's hard to know where self and other differentiates. In simple terms IMO, feeling is the functionally healthy connection, emotion is the overwhelming connection, and passion is unrestrained connection. For me, feelings can be as strong as the strongest passion but without the abandon inherent in how I define passion. As such the genuine allure of passion is submission.... which is fine but often people deny that to themselves and get lost in the resultant circumstance.

Knight ~ introverted extropian, mechatronic neurothealogizing, technogaian buddhist. Likes integration, visualization, elucidation and transformation.
Jou ~ Deg ~ Vlo ~ Sem ~ Mod ~ Med ~ Dis
TM: Grand Master Mark Anjuu
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05 Apr 2020 23:04 #350877 by Claiomh Solais
Replied by Claiomh Solais on topic Emotional Attachment
I am ok with attachments, as love is a form of attachment. But of course that puts you at risk of pain if the other person leaves. There is no easy answer. But what I have experienced is that you will meet other people. Perhaps what you needed to learn/experience has happened and it’s time for you to move on. I know it hurts, but you now understand what others have gone through. You know more now than what you did before and that has expanded your awareness. You will met new people in life...and perhaps be there for them in ways you weren’t able to before.
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07 Apr 2020 07:25 #350906 by Deimos
Replied by Deimos on topic Emotional Attachment
Thank you all for your answers. For me it was more so an acceptance issue. Without getting too much into it detail wise she had bf troubles, and due to my, albeit self diagnosed, depression, some part of my brain started thinking I could show that I was the better one as she always seemingly these problems every day. For the record I'm not proud of this and actually kinda embarrassed I was even at this point in my life, but after some stumbles I realized my mistake coincidentally through this very site. I started meditating, saw my mom again and after both got some stuff off my chest that I bottled up with my family, and was happy again. And that was when I realized my mistake and have been working to correct it.

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18 Apr 2020 17:19 #351236 by RobHowdle
Replied by RobHowdle on topic Emotional Attachment
Something that I have often experienced is heartbreak. It's not nice at all. Having said that I do have a healthy strong love filled relationship with my partner and step son. Something that I have learned over my years of bad relationships and heart break is to be prepaired to let go. Most of the time the pain comes from suddenly loosing a person that has become a fixed person in your life, trying to figure out how to live your life without that person in it because you are not prepared to remove that person from your life. By removing them I don't mean forgetting them becaue whether it was a good experience or a bad one, you came out of it with more knowledge than you went in with!

I mean being able to let go, accepting they are no longer in your life, not holding any grudges, being mad that they're no longer here, being sad you are may be on your own. Once you figure out and accept that one day that person wont be here, you can then work out how you can let that person go, what you need to do to be okay with not having that person around. Some have said I'm emotionally disconnected because of my ability to be OK with somebody walking out of my life, it's not that I'm OK, quite the opposite it is an emotional thing but I am ready to accept that person must go and then to let them go without forgetting them.

That's just me, it may actually be not such a good thing I do that but it does help me personally in the fact that if somebody does leave my life for whatever reason that I care deeply for, I beleive that this will help me in the recovery time of getting used to them not being around.

Rob Howdle
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28 May 2020 15:05 #352320 by Zanthan Storm
Replied by Zanthan Storm on topic Emotional Attachment
Good day,

I believe the biggest reason to be wary of attachment is not the heartbreak, it is the comfort.

I am not talking about the comfort of giving and receiving affection. I am talking about the trail you know, versus the trail you have to blaze yourself.

That familiar thing is known. You know the scope, you know how far you can go and be safe. This is great in some cases, in general, though it can be disastrous. It can be insidious, happening before you can realize it.

There are two options with this. Choice or concession.

Choice is when you or you/partner/etc choose to be ever changing and adapting. Most adopt a minimalist lifestyle and continue to grow, they also Choose to accept the people they are with as they grow. IE- my wife is not the same person I married, but my attachment is to my partner who I have trust in. I am also not the man she married, as I am more/different than I was. These are not bad things, but when you know the attachment is a commitment, I see that as a distinct difference. The changes deepen the love, as we grow like trees.

Concession is settling for safety, day in/day out. Same routine, same "things" even if they cause you discomfort, they are safe. I, Personally, See this as governed by fear.

Now that being said. Most people have someone or something that they are attached to. Like all weaknesses, it can also be a strength. We seek to rule over our emotions, not have them rule over us. There is no one perfect way.

Zanthan Storm
AKA Rev. Michael Ziskovsky OCP D.D.

Arch-bishop Abrahamic Rite
Master Knight of Jediism
Founder of Roseville, MN Chapter of TOTJO

3rd Degree Master Mason
Past Master: GM Neaj Pa Bol
Past Apprentices: Sr. Knight Kira, Knight Myos, Doriann

"Let no one thing control your life, seek to be complete and at peace."
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28 May 2020 20:21 #352333 by Deimos
Replied by Deimos on topic Emotional Attachment
I always think back to a quote Jim Carrey once said: "If their absences brings you peace, then you didn't lose them."

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