Taking "should" out of your personal vocabulary

Dechlain wrote:

it's ok to work on self improvement and have personal choices.....but one SHOULD (I feel) Be considerate to how they allow it to effect themselves in the process.

Trisskar I think this is what Linda Gray is trying to say all along...know yourself, know your goals, and don't give yourself the short end of the stick. Personally, I don't see weakness there. Only strength.

Of course you don't Because those are the good things of the message. All of which are true and great.

My problem here is the denial of weakness and the attempt to put a band aide over it.

Trisskar wrote:

Dechlain wrote:

it's ok to work on self improvement and have personal choices.....but one SHOULD (I feel) Be considerate to how they allow it to effect themselves in the process.

Trisskar I think this is what Linda Gray is trying to say all along...know yourself, know your goals, and don't give yourself the short end of the stick. Personally, I don't see weakness there. Only strength.

Of course you don't Because those are the good things of the message. All of which are true and great.

My problem here is the denial of weakness and the attempt to put a band aide over it.

It feels to me to be a bit more like steps are being taken to change for the better. That doesn't indicate weakness, in fact it's the opposite. Would life be better if how we phrased things didn't have any effect on our emotions? Yes, but that's not the case. Just look at any thread ever where the phrase "words mean things" comes up, which is a lot (especially if steamboat or gisteron are around. love those guys)

I don't see a band aid. A band aid is a temporary covering. What this says, to me, is "Hey there's this habit you have which is negatively affecting your life. Let's make this change to fix it. It won't be easy and it won't happen right away, but it will help in the long run."

Also, all of this is based on the individual. No one approach is correct. What works for one person does not always work for the group as a whole. I don't think it's fair to go around saying that one person's approach to self improvement is a "band aid" and an attempt to be in "denial of weakness."

But that's just my opinion. As you said, we all have the right to share that.

Trisskar wrote: You should try accepting YOU (general) more.

You should learn to recognize the things you SHOULD do and make commitments to the things you can and not let the things you can't get you down.

You should smile and accept that not everything is perfect

You SHOULD be You rather than try and change You because of the opinions of others.

Goken wrote: Not to be that Jedi, but it's very "Do or do not" don't you think? I like it. I think that changing how we say things can have a profound impact on our mental attitudes. I, for one, have tried to stop using the word "hate." There's enough of that out there without me saying it all the time.

i think that many "great truths" have contradictory elements to them:

we should love ourselves as we are, and affirm and believe in our vaue and our right to be who we are

we should look at ourselves honestly, and work to improve the areas of our circumstances and characters which can be improved

its been pretty well established that the way we use language doesnt just reflect the way we perceive, but also AFFECTS the way we perceive

i think that a Jedi SHOULD accept the task of becoming deliberate with their language, so that how we speak and what we speak are precise, and express the best of ourselves, or the best of our understanding

i also think that, I personally, have a long way to go before perfection, and am going to focus on the progress that I have made, rather than focus on how far I am from the ultimate goal

Do or do not, there is no try.

Only a sith deals in absolutes.

Which is right? Why must one be wrong? I'm at my best when BALANCED.

Should could be like a 'reflective' phrase, of contemplation... indecision, being in-decision. Like a juggler, I should catch these balls. Perhaps its shows some things are out of ones control, but it indicates the intention of effort.