How do you handle stress?

I’ve been having issues with stress at work. Normally for long-term stress I just duck my head and trudge forward, knowing that it’s temporary but that’s not working anymore. I’ve been finding myself wishing I was deployed. Although that was more stressful, it was simpler, had an obvious end, and something to look forward to. (All of which are lacking for me right now lol)

Typically I’ll journey to ask for advice, I’ll sleep, I’ll rant to friends (and I’m sure they’re all tired of me by now haha!), go for a walk, or I’ll burry myself in a book. If I can, I’ll try to fix what’s going on but that’s all what I do when I can’t fix something. But I’m finding all this isn’t quite handling things for me right now. I’ve gone beyond “stressed and depressed” and onward to “aggressively sarcastic” which I decided was a super power so I have dubbed myself “Disgruntled Girl” with the power of “I don’t give a ___” :woohoo:

So I’m hoping maybe I can glean something from you lovely people that I can use to help

Anyways, ultimate question is: what do you do to handle stress?

Honestly? When nothing else helps, I just turn into a selfish dude. I sit around in my pj's, eat cake icing from the can, and watch stupid, bad, cheesy movies until I fall asleep.

Might I suggest Big Trouble in Little China ? Watching Kurt Russel as a cocky truck driver ineptly fight a bunch of sorcerer-ninjas serving a centuries-old James Hong with help from the old dude from "3 Ninjas" is quite a good time.

Here's some of my thoughts and a couple others from a different post...

http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/General-Discussions/105293-let-s-all-get-stressed-i-jest-and-yet#126256
which includes this clever TED video about stress and how it's not all bad!
http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?utm_content=awesm-publisher&utm_medium=on.ted.com-static&utm_campaign=&utm_source=facebook.com&awesm=on.ted.com_UpsideOfStress

And slightly further away and more abstract from the topic, maybe this thread might be useful?
http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/forum/General-Discussions/104175-discussion-of-fixing-general-problems

Good luck! Hope things pick up,

i find hitting or kicking heavy bags works very well for me. very cathartic.

I read this as asking "what do you do as a table, when you feel you are about to collapse", in which I would answer "I add another leg" (I talk to friends, whether about what im stressed over or even something unrelated). Support from friends and family does a great deal for me and helps remind me that the "effects of stress" are only present when I "stress over being stressed" when I could be letting the stress happen and let myself simply build strength from it - as it is frequently said "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." (as long as you let it). Talking to others also helps me with awareness from the outside view inward, which counteracts the view from the inside outward - where the view on the inside looks a lot more worse than it likely really is on the outside.

If I'm not talking to others, then I am taking walks in nature and "getting out of my head" for a certain amount of time each day. Sometimes I will talk to myself about whats going on. Little "self meetings" are sometimes just what I need to regain my bearings with things, and sometimes, letting myself meditate on the world around me (not just by observing the world around me, but by observing the world AS me, and putting the real size of my issues into perspective from the view of the universe itself). It takes practice of mindfulness but I am fortunate enough to have had such time to indulge this meditation over some years, and very much thanks to everything I have learned while here at TOTJO.

So 1. If you ever need to, talk to a friend. I am here for you if you'd like. and
2. Take a walk, relax, organize your thoughts, and/or realize that what bothers you now - this too shall pass.

The only constant is change afterall.

May the Force be with you.

I sing or Play... or doddle and on occasion make something like a paper crane any little thing that can be done with what ever is at hand but that draws my attention and gives my hands something to fidget with. I even learned a few pen tricks back in detention. I find stress is just a lot of pent up energy built up over some thing and typical something that you cant change or do anything about at the time so use that energy on something else while your mind untangles what ever mess it needs to.

Many of the above suggestions are helpful. On another tack, would it be helpful to identify the source of stress? Whether it is institutional, inter-personal or personal? What is it that happens that produces stress? Identify the source of the stress and also uncover what is it in you that receives the stress. One the inter-personal side: stress-inflicters often are looking for someone upon which to inflict stress, or they latch on to someone that they know they are 'getting to'. It could be motivated by their trying to feel powerful when they are not and as a result are insecure. Identifying this kind of person is important and then learning how not to give them the satisfaction of showing that they 'got to you' may eventually result in their leaving you alone. This is not always possible. In our Jedi Temple creed and teachings can be found a variety of helpful attitudes (and tactics). Another tactic is to no longer be a target. This is the life long discipline of allowing the ego to fade.

Thank you for all of your suggestions I can use lots of these

Alan, It's been a lot of little things consistently piling up, the tide has rolled in . When I asked my guides about this I was told the stress was my own fault. Thinking on it made me remember the Buddhist idea that suffering is caused by placing expectations in people. (...imagine... expecting your co-workers to do their job and follow regulations, and expecting your leadership to enforce that! How extreme an idea! lol)

Honestly, I've been there before. Doing what they are doing. Showing up to work late, sitting just browsing the web. Just not caring. So I don't feel I have the right to start kicking them in the tail for doing the same things I use to. However, my rank DOES say that that is my job. But what I'm working on to remove the stress to begin with is focusing on my job, keeping an eye on my direct troop, and not worrying so much about everybody else. But in relation to my troop, I feel bad about keeping him in line with the regulations when he hangs out with the folks who aren't held to that same (minimum) standards. Although to be who I'm suppose to be, I also need to start speaking with the guys at my own rank about doing work as well.

I do have a person in my shop who is extremely loud and aggressive... My usual automatic reaction was to rise to his level on confrontations...but the last time I managed to keep my calm (outwardly at least) and talk to him at an even level and it worked now only if I can keep that up on next ones haha.

Kamizu, I understand. Motivating those to whom we have a responsible relationship is challenging.

Please forgive my meandering about a bit.

As a college professor, I am a stress initiator: high expectations of what they can do, while trying to inspire the value of doing more than the minimum. I believe what I teach is important, but I cannot force a student to learn, read the textbook or write the essays. Some students want to learn and they are a joy. But then I am faced with the challenge of just teaching for the (my) joy of it and not to fall into dependency upon my students attitudes. My happiness in performing my profession professionally or appreciating the value of what is taught should be sufficient. Even so, when students are excited to learn and we have interesting conversations in class this experience makes me happy.

We have but a little power, except perhaps how we react or respond to a person or situation. It might be the case that the only thing we really have control over is how we feel, and this control is a learned discipline.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I appreciate the opportunity you have given me (us) to think about this important stuff.

Apologies for rezzing an old thread.

This is a post I made at another forum about dealing with stress, anxiety attacks and developing constructive channels for blowing off steam and generally learning how not to self-implode all over the place. I don't want to use the broad-brush descriptor and claim that Western moderns don't have channels or avenues for unloading - for the longest time, I didn't have any sort of channel and I can only speak about my experience here. But I can say that, often, what we consider relaxation is one of two things: rushing around with our heads cut off or making a plan to lop off our heads. Learning to sit a round out and regather the exploded pieces was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. No, I take that back. Growing a better mental filter easily takes the cake. But that's for another day. Anyway - prelude over.

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The first thing I do is stage a strategic retreat. The onset signs of a panic attack are a way to recognize that I've stretched my emotional limits and I've started to to fray around the edges. I've learned that if I pursue beyond these boundaries, I'll have a major attack. Typically, I just find a nice, quiet place to retreat and breathe. I focus on my breathing, in and out, in and out, emptying my mind in the process. It's a hard thing to do, admittedly, and all the more so especially when you feel like the world is crashing down around you, but this only becomes a problem when I convince myself I am incapable of tackling it all by myself. So, to empty the mind, I try to take in the texture of the world as I'm experiencing in that moment. I pay attention to the air on my skin, the sounds around me, the scents in the air, that sort of thing. When the panicky thoughts try to overtake that sensory indulgence, I don't try to suppress them but I don't fret over them, either. I try to let the momentum of those thoughts wear itself out by refusing to fixate. Sometimes ritual or repetitive action works - working or exercise is a great way to empty the mind. When I'm really strained, I'll go out for a run or dick around in the garage. When I'm running, it's very easy to forget what's bothering me. Sometimes I light up my tobacco pipe and just focus on the act of smoking. None of this may work, some of it will - I can't determine that for you. Instead, the goal is to recognize the warning signs and act upon them constructively. I guess I think of panicky thoughts as a stampede of wild horses - you can't overtake them and you can't control the momentum but you can make sure to get the hell out of the way and let it run its course.

The importance of "emptying your mind" and "taking in the experience of the moment" is key here. Much of what I experience in an anxiety or panic attack exists in a future that hasn't happened yet, so the goal is not to escape the moment of panic but to re-enter the moment as it is now. Sure, you feel as though the world is crashing down around you but, until that actually happens, why are we fretting? Leave the future that hasn't happened, understand that everything is fine right now and breathe. White knuckle living will only get you killed.

Secondly, I develop a plan of action. If I'm stressing about Capital Facking El Life, I'm going to overload. The big picture can't change the way I want it to overnight and that's merely wasted energy. Instead, I try to isolate the one factor in the fiasco that I know I can change first. If it's stress over self-image, I get slicked up. If I hate the way my job is going, I show up to work the next day a half hour early and help out the out-going shift finish their work early. If I'm stressing over a paper, I start by writing a page to my satisfaction and standards. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

But, instead of making plans, make goals instead.

If I am having guests over, I will not set a plan where dinner has to be ready by 7:30. Instead, my goal is to have dinner ready when the guests come over. If the dinner isn't ready when they come over, change the goal. My goal is to dinner ready within ten minutes. When you live by goals, you accomplish little victories but when you live by plans, any failure is an inability to meet your standards. Shift the nature of your desires and the experience of anxiety drastically changes. Simplify! And if you fail to accomplish a goal, you haven't made a mistake - you've discovered an unintended feature. Dinner is taking a little longer than expected, therefore, it will be that much more satisfying. Fill every day with little victories.

If you have to be super-analytical (and I suffer from this) ask yourself a simple question. "What in this moment is right?" I've tried variations on this theme ("What in this moment is lacking" opens up too many doors while "what in this moment is worth treasuring" clarifies a lot.) Generally, if you're breathing, there's more right with you than there is wrong, so start from there and work your way up. The sky is blue. The birds are singing. Somewhere, someone is laughing. Catalog everything that is right in the moment and, hopefully, the negatives will lose some of their intimidation and significance.

Something I picked up from the webcomic Question Content: defeat awkwardness with maximum ridiculosity. When you're on the verge of breaking down, wear a stupid hat. I have more than a few.

And, above all else, start your day with a maniacal laugh.